Aunt Anna Is a Ghost!

Hola familia. ¡Como les extraño! I recently received an email from XtraVa asking how the rest is . . .

I've been in Heaven a whole month now and - honestly - it's SO BORING. We have a very weak and erratic internet connection. Furthermore, there is no lawn and not nearly enough of you to get a good game going. (But don't die just yet, ok?) I really miss earth - I knew it so and did it so well. I'm going to have to make up "cloud games for death" or something. Don't worry: I'll adapt. Hmmmm. I wonder if boredom is what drives folks to get into the haunting business. Around here, folks who haunt are comprable to the folks down there who watch a lot of TV. They're harmless - neither respected nor disrespected. They sort of just "are."

I am with all of you in spirit. I hope that everyone is doing their part to keep the family spirit alive. Don't forget to say please and thanks and of course to share. It's sometimes hard around the holidays to feel cozy family feelings - there's a lot of work, family politics erupt, etcetera. But it really is a wonderful time of the year. And it will be an even better time of the year if you guys collaborate as family units to recover my heirloom.

Keep an eye out for some travel suggestions from me - have you ever taken a vaction in the town where you live? You're no Souza, Ravelo, Freemont, Williams, or Garcia relative of mine if you can't figure out a way to capture the spirit of surfing in the mountains and shoeshoeing in the ocean. I'll give you some tips soon.

In the meantime, how do my hair and nails look? I've got a birthday coming up! Try to keep track of me - I'll keep you posted.

  A Change in Our Mission

Well, the transition back to earth took 3 days (longer than normal because I'm connecting via digital vs. physical space). I'm here to help Taylor, smooth out wrinkles, and lead you. But first, I should reveal some things about "the truth." I think it will help quiet some of the infighting and keep the extended family focused.

Ghosts are real. They are a part of Gaia - a toxic part. For ages, the earth has been threatened by ghosts that haunt. Haunting ghosts are starting to oversaturate the earth. Gaia cannot adapt sustainably. The integrity of earth as humans know it is at risk. You face the same fate as Mars or Venus. Earth may become a ghost planet. You need to collectively gain enough loyalty points to prevent this from happening.

Ghosts are the spirits of the newly dead. Angels in waiting. It takes a long time to get promoted to "angel" status. Angels don't haunt. Truly"evil" ghosts are rare. As I've mentioned, most of the ghosts that haunt merely do so out of boredom, without an acute awareness of the consequences of their hauntings. This year, we reached a critical mass of would-be haunting ghosts: (1) overpopulation of the living goes hand-in-hand with overpopulation of the dying (= more ghosts) (2) those who lead boring lives are predisposed to boredom when they become ghosts (3) more people lead boring lives (4) death rates have had a lot of recent blips because of hurricanes, tsunami, epidemics, war, etc. (= more ghosts)

These dynamics create a feedback loop: as more people die, there are more ghosts; with more young ghosts around, there is a larger pool of possible haunters (even IF the same percentage of ghosts are predisposed to haunt nowadays as a few decades ago). Couple that with with the increasing likelihood for new ghosts to have a predisposition for haunting and the outlook is grim. Finally, once masses of bored haunters come down to earth, they wreck havoc, leaving war and tidal waves in their paths. They're like the supernatural version of frat boys - basically harmless until you get a bunch of them together. More haunting - more natural and social disaster - more deaths - more ghosts - more haunting - and so on.

Do you see where this is going? Global warming, famine, epidemics, war, deforestation, extinction. All the result of some bored ghosts looking for a little fun to help pass the time until they get their wings. They don't know any better. We must protect Gaia! We have to protect each other and our entire extended family - not just the Souzas, Ravelos, Freemonts, Williams, and Garcias. Everyone else too - our extended extended family.

As you know, I just spent a little over a month up there with the ghosts. For the most part they really *do* mean no harm. A week ago, though, I overheard whisperings of a ghostly coup to get rid of Taylor (gasp! I'm so sorry, sweetheart). I've become a spokesperson for the minority advocating alternatives to haunting in addressing boredom, and I couldn't help but brag about Taylor's wonderful work on behalf of the cause (both in her career and as my agent). Haunting has become "all the rage" up there. It's a trendy activity. The haunting ghosts don't like Taylor's spirited and critical role in this campaign to suppress their hauntings (even though she didn't know about them). The haunting ghosts also discovered Taylor's research and got pissed off - a lot of her initiatives could slow down the death rate, reverse global warming, improve spirits, reduce boredom, etc. Effectively, Taylor might undo their hauntings and end the party. I'm glad they don't know how much work all of YOU are doing too, or they'd be out for even more blood!

The point of entry for ghosts and angels in the northern hemisphere is in St. AUgustine, FL. The waters there ease ghosts' transition to earth. Also, legend has it up here that back when people were coming around in pursuit of the "Fountain of Youth," ghosts got a lot of haunting out of their systems with pranks that would rejuvenate then dramatically age would-be believers.

The St. Augustine border is usually patrolled by a competent army of angels that more or less keep the infiltration of ghosts in check. But most of the angels take their vacation around the holidays. December 22 will be the last day until the new year for a lot of the guard angels. For the past 20 years, I have been going down to Florida after Thanksgiving not only to spend the winter with my retired friends but also to throw the illegal ghosts a party. I surmised correctly that engaging, spirited entertainment at their point of entry could soothe their boredom (and quiet their need to haunt). I always disguised the ghost party as an average reunion party for my friends. Ghosts can't help but to enjoy being around spirited living people. Spirit counteracts boredom. This year, though, there is so much boredom amongst so many ghosts! My friends alone can't produce enough spirit (especially since many of them are saddened by my death or are dying themselves).

It's been referred to as "loyalty" because being loyal to yourself, you friends and family, and your earth are all ways to build and maintain a lively spirit. If you Souzas, Ravelos, Garcias, Freemonts, and Williams can collectively earn enough loyalty by December 22 - 1000 points worth - then we'll have enough spirit to host a successful party for the would-be dangerous haunting ghosts. It is typically a 1:1 correlation (one unit of spirit checks one unit of boredom). 1000 is the minimum amount of loyalty that we'll need (so long as there aren't too many new ghosts between now and 12/22). We should get as much loyalty as possible, "just to be safe."

I've noticed a bit of a drop in spirit and loyalty amongst all of you. Don't lose heart - you've got to work together! A healthy competitive spirit is one of the feelings that is most important for averting boredom. It drives a wonderment of activities - including, of course, lawn games! But don't become a sour puss about it, either. You're amongst friends and family. :-)

I've come up with 10 new lawn games. I'd like to introduce them to the ghosts and angels as part of my master plan for reducing earthly hauntings to protect Gaia. If any of you families wants to "playtest" one of my new lawn games, you can do so in lieu of completing a location trial. It'll just cost you a few SMARTS or TOUGH points (which are irrelevant in terms of meeting our 1000 loyalty point quota). You earn LOTS of loyalty points by performing a new lawn game, though, so it's worth it. Details about how to perform a new lawn game in lieu of a location trial are on my other website, www.newlawngames.net . Detailed details will be posted EOD Wednesday.

If you guys get 1000 loyalty points and, during the process, discover the time/location/supply list for the haunting ghosts' party, you'll have the pride and satisfaction of knowing that you had an important role in protecting the earth (and Taylor!). You'll also be rewarded with the heirloom (there really is an heirloom!) and a supplemental will that I wrote for the dissemination of my offshore assets. If you cannot work together to protect Gaia, though, then the heirloom and the will are meaningless. You will partake in neither.

One final note: Location Trials are going to work a little differently from here on out. Please see the bottom of the "trials" page for more details.

RECAP:
* Ghosts will haunt the earth to death when the angels leave for Christmas vacation
* Ghosts haunt because they're bored
* Boredom is checked with spirit (aka "loyalty")
* Collectively earn 1000 loyalty points!!!
* We need to throw the ghosts a lively party at their point of entry
* The location of the party will only be revealed is y'all are prepared (i.e., know where/when/what to bring and are spirited enough)
* At the party, y'all will get some earthly prizes (the heirloom + a supplemental will)
* Playtest new lawn games in lieu of completing location trials (spend smarts or tough points)
* Earn bonus points at locations (earn loyalty points)

  New Lawn Games for Life

  How to Play

When was the last time you played? While lawns are excellent places to barbeque, garden, and picnic, they're even better places to play! If you're fit enough, you can get in some frisbee, flag football, or wiffleball. A weak back, recovering knee, or third trimester pregnancy are no reason to stop playing! You could try horseshoes or shuffleboard. Playing outside connects your spirit with the nature spirit. It brings joy. It demonstrates loyalty.

Earth needs more spirit and the afterlife needs some new recreation. Combining the wits and strength of Garcias, Souzas, Freemonts, Williams, and Ravelos, my extended family will unite to meet the 1000 spirit/loyalty unit requirement to help our precious Gaia. Their efforts will also help me finesse some games that I'd like to introduce up there as "cloud games for death" in my master plan to reduce future hauntings.

Death - like life - is about give-and-take. Similarly, families will give me a little smarts or toughs to learn how to play one of my new lawn games. And they'll get a lot in return: a wonderful afternoon of memories, bragging rights at the next family reunion, the chance to influence the games they'll be playing when they die, and of course LOTS OF LOYALTY (65 - 75 points worth).

There are details about how to use a new lawn game in lieu of a location challenge, but the basic process is:

1. Discuss the decision with your family - keep in mind how many smarts / tough points you have available to dedicate to a new lawn game.
2. Select an available new lawn game to perform.
3. Select a location trial to forfeit.
4. Send an e-mail to Aunt Anna (me!) letting me know your family's plan.
5. I will send you the password to a webpage with the detailed information about performing and completing the new lawn game. That new lawn game will be unavailable to other families. (NB - your family can only work on ONE new lawn game at a time)
6. Get some family members (distant cousins are ok!) together outside near where you live and play the new lawn game! Be sure to snap photos or short video. Be sure to display your family crest somewhere as well!
7. Perform the completion steps laid out on the new lawn game's webpage (usually something like answering questions about the game or rewritingthe rules and submitting photos via email to Aunt Anna).
8. Once the new lawn game is complete, its associated webpage will be available for everyone to see and your family will earn lots of loyalty points.

  Game A: Iqueque

• http://www.lawngamesforlife.com/Lore/3/ghost_ship.html
• http://www.klaxo.net/hofc/other/lostship3.htm
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Polo_%28game%29

  Game D: Duel

• http://www.ok-corral.com/
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawn_darts

  Game E: Overland Route

• http://www.lawngamesforlife.com/Lore/7/getting_in_touch.html
• http://www.over-land.com/mail.html
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egg_and_spoon_race

  Game I: Bast and Mouse

• http://www.lawngamesforlife.com/Lore/4/bast_curse.html
• http://touregypt.net/godsofegypt/bast.htm
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tag_%28game%29#Roundup