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Pastor Ned's Sing Along Blog |
Pastor Ned had some... issues when he went to Subway to enter his code. He's actually lucky he didn't get arrested because he looked liked a crazed Hamburgler entering the store with his bright orange hat, sequined mask, and extension cord. I'm guessing whoever was filming him warned the employees that an insane, but relatively harmless, man would be coming in to buy a drink. Obviously the camera operator was only being paid to film Pastor Ned as they did not help him count out the numbers on the soda machine. Or tell him that it might be a good idea to use his soda cup instead of his hands.
That wasn't his own problem though. You can see that for some reason Pastor Ned almost couldn't physically enter in the last number. But in the end, he prevailed and the code was entered. And that's when things started to go downhill for him. He sent out a message to the 36 talking about his physical reaction when he entered the code and asked if anyone else had any problems.
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Placeholder for the email
But back at the Devotional Indiana Community Service Church, Pastor Ned started to lose it. You would almost think that maybe someone spiked his drink and he was having a bad trip. I bet Pastor Ned wishes that he had been drugged. It would be better than what he found out about himself.
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I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. Came back. I entered my code. And I got close to that machine. And I entered my code from the. Did you enter the code from the front to the back? I did. I just, I just got back. And I did His will. This was the vision.
When I, when I got near the machines, I entered my code. Did you enter your code?
What's wrong with? Something is horribly wrong with. I got close to that machine. I kinda. I didn't feel safe. Felt like I was killing myself. And when the, when the machines.
I feel dizzy. I'm breathing too much. Oh my God. Okay.
When I got close to the machine, I felt like I was, I was gonna die. That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Because I'm gonna destroy the robots. The code will destroy the robots. And I can't. Why would I, why would I get scared if I was close to the machine? That sounds...
I got something. It feels very strange. It's not possible. That's not possible. Cause this eye has been with me since I've was born. There's no way I could. If I believed I was a robot, my eye would just come right out of my head. It would come right out of my body. It would have electronic diodes.
Oh my. Oh.
I can see through this thing. Oh my God.
Oh, I know.
My God's a line of code.
This world is getting old.
I've become what I've despised.
I pulled out my eye.
I'm the fly.
I'm the swatter.
I'm the frog who boiled the water.
I'm the man who begged for slaughter.
[???] meet to himself.
Oh. It's me. It's what I have been all my life.
Pastor Ludd.
Where shall I go?
Whose seeds will I sow?
I've spent my whole life,
Avenging my wife.
Every spark, every vision,
Just a binary collision.
Everything that was mine,
Was just a bad written line.
I was born in a dark cubicle.
This brain's not empty, it's full
Of lines of code. I feel cold.
A man-made creation.
I'm Pastor Abomination.
I'm the metal demon
About which from the hills
I've been screaming
To those that would follow.
My insides are hollow.
I've led you astray.
For that, I must pay.
I always wondered why I never bled.
Do I love him? Do I hate him?
Do I decapacertater him?
I've made this sandwich of WHYS.
Now I must eat all my lies.
My God's a line of code.
This world is getting cold.
I've gone from Prince to toad.
[???] as I slither away.
My faith is gone today.
I've become what I despise.
I pulled out my eye.
I'm sorry 36.
Goodbye.
Holy crap! Pastor Ned's a robot? Didn't see that one coming. I wonder if this means he can now get together with M@t@ H@ri, the robot who has been tempting him because she reminds him so much of his dead wife. I hope so. Pastor Ned was so awesome he deserves a happy ending so long as that happy ending isn't the destruction of all robots.
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Chuck's Leaving? |
So with Tim god knows where, 011ie has the weekend to himself. And instead of going out with girls, he decides to play video games. At least Chuck is around to make sure he eats (and input the 8335 code at the Subway soda fountain) and help him beat Mega Man 9.
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011iver: Hey everyone. It's 011iver. Tim's out of town this weekend. He had to go somewhere for some sort of business thing. I didn't even realize he had a real job. But he wanted me to come on and film something for the blog anyway. I'm not sure what. I don't have a date this weekend. I mean, I guess I could make some calls. Ask some girls out. Me asking girls out is just about this most awkward thing anyone could ever witness, so I probably won't do that on camera. But, with Tim out of town, I thought I'd take the opportunity to catch up on some video games. So, sit back, relax, and watch me do what I do best.
*5 Hours Later*
*phone rings*
011iver: Hello?
Chuck: (on phone) 011iver. What's up, my brotha? How's life without Tim? You keeping busy?
011iver: Yeah, I'm keeping real busy. Making lots of calls. Asking lots of girls out.
Chuck: Sounds like you could use a break. How's about we play some video games?
011iver: How about lunch first and then video games?
Chuck: I'll be right over.
*Must Love Robots*
Chuck: Hey.
011iver: Hi Chuck.
Chuck: What's with the camera? You're not expecting another date any minute, are you?
011iver: No, I made, I made a promise to Tim that I would film something for the blog this week.
Chuck: Okay. Well, how about some Subway? Eat Fresh.
011iver: Let's go.
Chuck: Okay. Here we go. Diet Coke. Vanilla Coke. Vanilla Coke. Nestea. Watery Nestea.
011iver: What do you call that?
Chuck: This is a little concoction I like to call "I'm Save Your Life."
011iver: Looks disgusting. How is it?
Chuck: You owe me. So.
011iver: So.
Chuck: You've been making dates all day, huh?
011iver: Yeah. Yeah.
Chuck: Sounds to me like you could use a little Mega Man 9.
011iver: I'd thought you'd never ask.
Chuck: Let's go. Down. Down. Oh, you better pull it out.
011iver: Oh! Yes!
Chuck: It would help if I knew how to shoot things on this controller. Oh, what was that? Did you just die?
011iver: No.
Chuck: Aww, did 011iver just die?
011iver: Here we go. This is it. Just one more part.
Chuck: Bitch!
011iver: This is it. This is what we've been waiting for. Jump back. Now go forward. Fire the missile! Yes! Yes! Yes! That took all day! We finally did it! We finally... we... you know we... Ahh, sorry. I mean, I was just really excited.
Chuck: It's okay. Really.
011iver: This has been great, you know?
Chuck: Yeah.
011iver: We've been so busy I don't really get to see you much anymore.
Chuck: It's okay. I've been busy too.
011iver: What have you been doing?
Chuck: Job search. You know, the usual.
011iver: Right. How's it going?
Chuck: It's not, really.
011iver: That sucks.
Chuck: Yeah, I've actually been meaning to tell you, I'm thinking about leaving.
011iver: Leaving the city?
Chuck: Well, yeah, it's...
011iver: What? You can't leave.
Chuck: I can't find a decent job. It's just so competitive here. I'm just not sure that there's any reason for me to stay.
011iver: Oh, what about me?
Chuck: I don't know. What about you?
011iver: Well, I need you here. Cause you make a better wingman then Tim. And if you leave, who's gonna trick pretty girls into going on dates with me? Right? I mean...
Chuck: I have to go. I have some stuff to do.
011iver: What? Where are you going? You don't have to leave. There's still...
Chuck: Call you later.
011iver: There's still a final boss. Shit.
So, Chuck isn't in a good place right now. It's got to suck losing your job, have problems finding a new one, and have the robot you have a crush on only see you as a prop to get dates with. Although, after watching the video a few times, I'm not exactly sure that's all 011ie sees in her now. Maybe Tim's little feelings talk got 011ie thinking a bit. You can tell that he does want Chuck around and although his wingman excuse was a knife in Chuck's heart, I sort of get the feeling he was trying to compliment her. That and think up a logical reason why he needed her to stay. But the playing with the tie is one of those classic subconscious indicators - like a girl twirling her hair.
We've been trying to get 011iver to go over to Chuck's place since she's refusing his calls, but he's not listening to us. Claims he has too much to do before he leaves for Portland. And while I understand that, I all of a sudden seem to have a million things to do that I didn't think about last week, he might find himself being very sorry that he didn't talk to Chuck sooner.
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Robot Speed Dating! |
So July 17th was Robot Speed Dating at ARGFest. And I have to say it was a total blast.
The festivities started quite a bit earlier than 6pm. The Hospitality Suite had all sorts of goodies with which we could make Robot Heads. Most people went with the standard square box, but Oraclle went all out and created an awesome Cylon Head. A few people fell into the 'this costume is so good, I don't need eyeholes' trap and paid for it a bit later.
At 6pm, we all went down to the Maple Room with our robot heads. Tanner, the new representative from Robot Friend Finder, explained the rules of Speed Dating. When we all entered the room, the program Love.EXE was installed on us. These were the keys to our hearts. We would need to go around and see if we could crack the puzzles of the other robots hearts. If we did, we got a point. We also had a couple of sealed subroutines that would also give us love points, but we could only use those once and there was the possibility that we would lose points. At the end, the robot with the most love points would win a special prize.
I thought the event went pretty smoothly, despite how chaotic it was in the room. I think it was a lot more fun trying to see who was free for a date rather than waiting for a specified time interval to switch. I think my biggest complaint would be that the awarding of points for the Love.EXE puzzles was a little misunderstood. Half of the room seemed to think if you solved your date's puzzle you got a point, while the other half thought the date got the point. I just ended up marking everyone's sheet if either one of us got a puzzle correct since it was more fun that way.
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In case you were wondering, the actual rule was that if you solved your date's puzzle, you got the point on your sheet, which your date had since you switch them at the beginning. If this had been more competition based, rather than social interaction, I think having the instructions printed directly on the sheets would have been helpful. But considering how silly the Speed Dating was to begin with, I don't think it suffered from us not totally understand the rules.
So like I said, Speed Dating was a blast. I believe I got the first date with 011iver. I gave him two small gifts - one for him and one for Chuck so that he would have an excuse to make her see him. His Love.EXE was fairly easy (Find the arrow in the FedEx logo) while mine ended up stumping a lot of people. After I got my point from him, it was time to find someone else to date. Sadly, that was the last I got to really see 011iver in Portland. During the middle of the Speed Dating, he just ended up leaving. And I completely missed it because, at that exact moment, I was thrown a surprise RoboBaby Shower.
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RoboBaby Shower |
For the record, I would just like to state that I am not RoboPregnant. But that hasn't stopped certain individuals in chat (*cough*strifey*cough*) from spreading the rumor. In case you aren't a regular in #unfiction, the rumor is that when I went on my date with 011iver, somehow he knocked me up and I am pregnant with RoboTwins. There were even sonograms floating around the Hospitality Suite as "proof."
So, during the Speed Dating as I was standing there, minding my own business and looking for a new robot to date, when in walks Anthrax101 with a RoboBabyCake, flower, and a card "signed" by everyone in #unfiction who had plotted during the afternoon to throw me a shower. It was really quite hilarious that they managed to pull it off. I still have to read the chat logs to see who I need to plot revenge on in the future.
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011ie's Revelation |
It took a while for Tim to edit the video from the Speed Date. I wonder if it's because he was so tired from the rest of his weekend in Portland. Either that or trying to find some non-noisy footage from the Speed Date. It got really loud in the room at times.
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TheElita13: Oh, hi Tim and 011ie. I just wanted to say that I've been following 011ie's trials and tribulations. I know first hand how hard it can be to find true love. But I stuck in there and I found my soul mate, as it were, right here in Portland. We now have three kids. We're living the life.
We got to go to Vegas recently. What a hoot. Here's a picture of us. Woo, at the beach. I had to be a little bit careful though. It's a little hard when you get in the pool water there. But at least I wasn't the chick who threw up in the pool and made it close down.
Anyway, I just wanted to offer some words of encouragement to 011ie and say "Hang in there." I'm so excited that you're coming to Portland. I hope you meet some really nice ladies. And hopefully you'll find your lovebot, 011ie. And Tim, there are some cool chicks in Stumptown who might dig you too. Maybe I'll see you around this weekend. Bye!
RobotFriendFinder.com
Presents
Robot Speed Dating
Portland Oregon
RobMagus: Also, I chose nerdy.
Tanner: We know a lot of you aren't really great at dating.
Unknown male: Whatever gave you that idea?
Tanner: Clinging to the walls. So we're here to help. Each of you has a subroutine running. You all know that because you're all robots. You're either a Deep robot. You know metaphysical, spiritual. You might be a Failure. You might be self-deprecating or something like that. You might be funny, I don't know. You might be a Sweetiebot. Romantic or charming. You might be a Nerdybot. We might need a few more of these.
Tim: Which one did you choose?
James Kane: Failure. Nerdy was thrust upon me.
Crowd: *cheering*
011iver: Why is everyone cheering?
Tim: I don't know.
Varin: What did you get?
011iver: Funky.
Varin: Funny.
Unknown female: Are you feeling funky?
011iver: I was. Oh, I have to lay down the beat?
PinkCloud: I have to come up with a quick rap.
011iver: Ready? *beatboxes*
PinkCloud: Yo we got 011iver at this awesome Robot Speed Date. I hope to win his heart but it's very hard.
DavFlamerock: I have got to be the best lover you have ever imagined.
PinkCloud: Really? So how can you tell?
DavFlamerock: I'm slow and sensual. And I know just how to crack their code, if you know what I mean.
Pixie: Two for the price of one.
Unknown female: We're having a three-way.
Pixie: Yeah.
DavFlamerock: Well, with the external wiring, I can make it hot.
AlienDial: Are you finding robot unemployment a bit of a burden?
Brian "PornBot" Clark: I am troubled with the United Auto Workers not negotiating on behalf of robot workers.
011iver: Aaaahhh!
James: My ideal partner?
011iver: No, I have to talk about my ideal partner. You're off the hook.
James: Thank god.
011iver: All right. Well, I don't know. That's tough. I guess my ideal partner would be a nice girl. Maybe who likes video games. Sorry. Sorry to put you on the chopping block.
James: Yeah, yeah. This is a little awkward.
011iver: A nice girl who likes video games, I guess. Who's funny and I don't know.
James: Someone who presses your buttons?
011iver: Yeah, someone who presses my buttons. Who likes to hang out with me. And...
Rowan: You bastards! (as Anthrax enters the room)
011iver: ...has red hair. And... holy shit! Tim!
Tim: What?
011iver: I'm in love with Chuck! I gotta go! I gotta go! I gotta go!
James: Well, I've never been ditched so hard on a date. That was catastrophic.
Tim: I know. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything.
James: I'm shattered.
Tim: Do you have... maybe you should go and get one of those Failures.
James: I've got one! It was prophetic. I didn't realize that this was a prophecy.
Hooray! 011ie loves Chuck! Now all he has to do is fly back to NYC and find her and tell her before she moves away thinking that he just thinks of her as a friend. Hopefully Chuck will actually let 011iver talk to her instead of just hiding away before she can move.
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Passive Aggressive Chuck |
Ever since 011ie got back from Portland, he's been trying to get back in touch with Chuck. The only problem is, she stopped taking his calls and blocked him on Twitter and completely started avoiding him. Poor 011ie. He sent out a mass email to everyone hoping that one of us could get in touch with Chuck and make her talk to 011ie.
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Hi Everyone,
I know a lot of you follow Tim's blog, so I know a lot of you saw this weeks episode. Turns out everything I was looking for was right in front of me all along. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out, but I am in love with Chuck. Problem is, it seems that I was dense and stupid and didn't realize that she had feelings for me right away, and like I do with everything, I have driven her away. She has no idea that I feel the way I do, and I'm afraid I've lost my chance to tell her. She's leaving, I don't know where to, I don't know why, but I need to stop her before she does. I can't imagine life without her.
I was stupid last week, I said something that upset her because I was afraid to admit how I really felt about her. And now, she isn't answering my calls, she blocked my twitter account, she isn't responding to emails, and she doesn't ever seem to be home. Plus, people have been telling me that she's been spending a lot of time with Glen. I need your help, It took this long to find her and realize my feelings for her, I can't let it slip through my fingers now.
Can any of you email Chuck, her email is ChuckQuartz@gmail.com, and just tell her how I feel about her, tell her that I need to see her before she leaves.
Hopefully she gives me one more chance.
Thanks everyone.
-011iver
Sadly, right as he sent this, Chuck sent out a tweet stating that she wouldn't be able to check her messages for a while as she would be without internet access. Perfect. You don't think she's avoiding everyone who would tell her what an idiot she's being, do you?
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Chuck's Leaving... With Glen! |
Chuck finally got around to writing the blog post she promised us before she went Twitter silent, and it's not good. She's decided to leave town and move in with Glen. It seems that ever since the Megabot 9/Wingman incident, she's been hanging out with Glen. And not just hanging out, she's now dating Glen. And when Glen told her that he was moving, she just decided to go with him since she didn't have anything left for her in NYC. Talk about running away from your problems.
Of course, this announcement wasn't accepted very well by most of Chuck's new friends. She was yelled at quite a bit through Twitter, email and blog comments, but she was doing a pretty good job of making sure she avoided everything that would make her possibly change her mind, so sadly none of our messages got through to her. Makes me think that if she was really sure about her decision to leave with Glen, she wouldn't have cut herself off so completely from everyone. No one can make you change your mind if they can't find you.
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Tired and Emoticon |
011ie didn't take the news of Chuck leaving with Glen well at all. In fact, he's decided to give up on Chuck and love and the Must Love Robots blog. Luckily Tim was around with the Crazy Frog spinning top, Connect 4 and lots of Pabst Blue Ribbon to distract 011ie from feeling so down. And through most of the video, 011ie looks pretty distracted playing Connect 4 and the banjo and singing with Tim.
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011iver: Hey everyone. It's 011iver. I made a mistake. I got back from Portland, from the Robot Speed Dating. When I was there, I kinda realized something pretty, pretty big. I was surrounded by all these robots and meeting a lot of new people. But none of them really interested me cause I realized that everything I ever wanted was here with Chuck. I love Chuck.
But when I came back, I was excited to tell her, you know? I was trying to find her. I called her and I emailed her and I was like "I gotta tell her. I gotta share this news. I think the feelings are the same. I think we can have something special." But she didn't return any of my calls or respond to any of my emails. I tried to find her but she was gone. Today she came online and left a blog post about how she was leaving the City. Worse yet, she's... she's leaving with Glen. So, I don't know what to do, cause I mean this is perfect. I think I love her. I'm supposed to, we're supposed to find each other and be happy forever, together, but it's not gonna happen. And so I'm done. I'm done with stupid Must Love Robots blog. I'm done with stupid love and...
*crazy frog song*
Tim: Hey buddy.
011iver: I'm not in the mood.
Tim: It plays the frog song.
011iver: I'm not in the mood.
Tim: Dude, why are you not in the mood? You found love. She loves you. Everything's like perfect.
011iver: No she doesn't. You read the blog. She's leaving. She's going off with Glen.
Tim: You could stop that, right? I mean, she's probably gonna be around for like a couple of days or something. And then you can like win her back.
011iver: I don't know where she is!
Tim: Well, you can do it. Right? We've tackled worse things than this before.
011iver: I don't know.
Tim: All right. How about we just do something fun? How about we just, you know, old times.
011iver: I just want to go to bed.
Tim: Huh? Huh? I'll let you win. Huh? Cheers!
011iver: Yeah, cheers.
Tim: It's a party. Right here. You know? Right, c'mon. So, yeah, Connect 4. Right?
011iver: I don't care. I just fucking blew it with Chuck.
Tim: Don't, don't say that. You got, you can, you know, get her back. You know?
011iver: I don't think so. She's gone. Or she's going.
Tim: No, she's not leaving for a couple of days. Right? C'mon. Hey, look, I won. Tim. Yay.
011iver: Yay.
Tim: Hey, you know what, sir? Prepare to get drunk.
011iver: Yeah! Why don't you, why don't you just, wouldn't it be faster if you just took the sack out of the box?
Tim: Super great idea!
011iver: Who are you talking to?
Tim: *laughing like a drunken idiot* A one, two, a one, two, three. We should start a band. *more drunken giggling*
011iver: You're getting too close to me.
Tim: That's a great name for the band.
011iver: Glen Close to Me?
Tim: *laughs*
011iver: Colostomy? Glen COlostomy? Fuck Glen.
011iver & Tim: Make love, love, love. Sweet tasty robot love. Do it cause, because, because. robots must have love.
Tim: You said Bill Cosby.
011iver: What?
Tim: You said Bill Cosby.
011iver: No I didn't. With the Jello.
Tim: With the Jello!
011iver: That's terrible.
*Must Love Robots*
011iver: *laughing* What a dope. Oh, hey. Hey, hey Chuck. Beautiful, perfect Chuck.What light through yonder window breaks. It is the east and Chuck is the sun. Why don't you call me, Chuck? You know I'm bad at this stuff. I don't, I don't know what to say or when to say it. Please call me right now. Oh, not right now, it's super late. I gotta go to bed. I gotta go to bed. Tim, it's time to go to bed. Tim, it's bedtime. I gotta go to sleep. Goodnight Sweet Prince.
Tim: Internet! It's Timmy Time! Uh, you guys. You guys, you guys, you guys, you guys. My man 011iver, he's... he needs your help, you know? Like, he doesn't want to do this, but it's there. I mean it's like perfect. It's like star and shit like aligning. You guys, you guys, you guys, gas giants and stuff and you guys, give him a call. 718-753-0635 You've just got to call. You've got to call because he needs your *burps* he needs your help. So, and that's just, you know, that's why it's all...
Except of course 011ie can only stay distracted for so long. At the end of the video he's still pining for Chuck and doesn't understand why she would just leave without talking to him. Poor 011ie. Totally breaks my heart to see him like that. Even Tim can see how badly he's hurting and wants us to call 011ie on his cell phone to convince him to go after Chuck. But if 011ie is as stubborn as Chuck is, that's going to be an uphill battle.
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Chasing Chuck |
So Chuck is finally leaving NYC. She tweeted that she would be leaving at 9pm giving us only a few more hours to track her down and convince her to at least listen to what 011ie had to say to her. But we still had no idea where she was.
Until she started posting photos from all of her favorite places from the City as she made her way to the train. Now we would be able to tell 011iver exactly where she was and hopefully he would be able to run and track her down!
- Location #1 - 011iver, in his panic, couldn't remember that this was Grand Army Plaza so by the time that he got there, she was already gone.
- Location #2 - Next Chuck headed to the Brooklyn Bridge for one last walk across it. Poor 011ie ran across it twice looking for her, but no luck.
- Location #3 - Chuck went down to Battery Park for a last look at the Statue of Liberty. 011ie must have spent too much time running up and down the Brooklyn Bridge because by the time he got to Battery Park, she was almost at her next location.
- Location #4 - Luckily 011ie knew from our description of the clock and the Whole Foods that Chuck had gone to Union Square. But it was really crowded and he couldn't see her anywhere.
- Location #5 and #6 - Chuck went by Rockefeller Center to see Radio City Music Hall and the Prometheus statue. 011ie continued running after her.
- Location #7 - Chuck arrives in Times Square with a few minutes to spare before her train leaves. She texts 011iver to tell him good-bye as she's just about ready to leave the City. I bet she didn't think that he would have been so close to her to stop her. Luckily 011ie was only a couple of blocks away and was able to catch up with her.
And then the waiting for the video began - because of course no one could just tell us over Twitter if Chuck decided to stay with 011iver or leave with Glen. Bastiages.
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Robots Must Have Love |
So this it. The very last Must Love Robots video. Does 011ie get the girl? Does Chuck stay second fiddle to the monkey? Why is Tim wearing a pink shirt? Now we get to find out! Okay, so maybe we don't find out why Tim is wearing pink, but the rest we totally do. Plus, we also get a download of the new Tobor song which is extremely hilarious.
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Hi 011iver. It's Lysithea from Australia. And as you know, I've been following the blog. And I saw the latest video and I saw the way the way your heart lit up when you were talking about Chuck.
Hey 011ie. You need to stop Chuck from leaving town. You've got to go get her. That's all there is to it.
011iver, answer the phone you fucking asshole.
Hey 011iver. It's Dirt Diver, Noah. Dude, you have to go find Chuck. You need to.
You know, your problem is Chuck. And you're letting this, you're letting her get out of there without knowing how you feel about her.
011iver, you are a turkey.
And I just want to say, you need to stop being a wimp and being a typical guy robot.
You don't need money, it don't take fame. You don't need a credit card to ride this train. It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes. But it just might save your life. It's the power of love. Those are some wise words by a wise man named Huey Lewis.
Tim: 011iver, in less than two hours, a train from here will be bound for other parts of the world. And Chuck, she'll be on that train. Your one true love, gone. Forever. Love. That word has new meaning for all of us here today. You and Chuck can no longer be consumed in your petty differences. We need to be united in love. You need to fight for your right to love. We will not go quietly into this night. You will not vanish without a fight. You need to get up. You need to go find her. You need find the girl of your dreams. For today, we all must love robots. *claps*
011iver: Yeah, yeah, all right! Yeah, let's go!
Tim: Yes! All right. Let me go put on some pants.
011iver, it's Janet. I really hope you find Chuck. True love only comes around once, sometimes twice, in my case three times, but usually just once, in a lifetime. And I know you two are meant for each other. Go find her. Good luck. Here's my better half, you know.
011iver, it's Steve here. Look, you'd have to be an absolute idiot to not go after Chuck. She's hot, and she's a hell of a lot better option than sitting around on a Friday night blogging your motherboard. So go get her, doucherocket. Good luck!
Hey 011iver, this is Christian from [???] from Portland, Oregon. You need to go out and find Chuck right now!
Hey 011iver! If you love her, you have to do it. QUit fucking around. Go get her. Quit fucking around. I'm serious, dude. Go get... go get Chuck.
Hey 011iver, this is Chuck. No, I'm just kidding. This is Veronica. I'm calling you to plead that you please call Chuck. Go get her.
011iver, you idiot. You've got to go get her. Get her before she goes home. God damn, she's probably the best thing to ever happen to you. You've got to go get her now.
011ie? This is your motherboard. I don't try to tell you what to do with your life, but you need to get out there and you need to find Chuck. Go 011ie! Go! I love you! Bye!
Okay 011ie. The only reason I'm going to accept your not answering your phone is that you've gone back to talk to Chuck over at Glen's. And if you're not doing that, why? Go to Glen's. Talk to Chuck.
011iver, what the hell are you doing? You've got to stay with Chuck. She's the best thing that's ever happened to you and ever will happen to you. You know, you've greased up all these fricking gears of yours. And you've just got to stay with her.
011iver: I just got a text message from Chuck. She's at Times Square. It's like two blocks away. We gotta hurry. We gotta catch her. Oh my god. Tim, there she is. We found her. Chuck! Chuck, wait.
Chuck: 011iver? 011iver what are you doing here?
011iver: You can't leave.
Chuck: I'm not interested in staying here just to be your wing man.
011iver: Nonononono, that's not it at all.
Chuck: What is it then?
011iver: Chuck, I love you. I mean it. You're the girl for me. You've got everything I want and you love all the things that I do, you know? You're pretty and you're cute and you're smart and you're perfect in every way. And you love video games and you love Big Macs and you love tshirts and you love me, you know? You like me for who I am. It's more than that though. When I was in Portland, at the Speed Dating thing, I met a lot of great robots but none of them were you. I can't imagine being with anybody but you. So you can't leave. You can't go with Glen. Sorry Glen.
Chuck: 011iver, I'm with Glen now. I... we're leaving. We've been planning this for two weeks. You can't just expect to walk in here and... You are such an asshole.
011iver: I know. I know I am.
Glen: Charlotte, I don't mean to interrupt, but should I go see if I can get a refund on your ticket?
Chuck: Yeah. I'm sorry Glen. I guess, I guess I'm staying.
Glen: Oh well, very well. Best of luck to you.
Chuck: Glen, wait. Call us when you get there?
Glen: Okay.
011iver: So, you're staying?
Chuck: I'm staying.
011iver: But I'm an asshole.
Chuck: You are such an asshole.
Tim: Oh my god. Oh my god. That's the most romantic thing I've ever seen. This is like seriously like a fairy tale. You guys know the one I'm talking about? I think it's like the Little Mermaid. You're like the Little Mermaid. You want to become a human.
011iver: Tim. Tim. Tim. Fuck off, buddy.
Tim: Oh. Oh. Wait, what about, what about the blog? What about the blog?
011iver: What about the blog? I think we're dong with the blog. I mean, you've been great but I think you deserve a night off, you know? Go, go home, crack open a Bud Light Lime. Watch Grey's Anatomy on DVD, you know. Do whatever it is you do when I'm not there.
Tim: You know what, I did just get Season Two on DVD.
011iver: There you go.
Tim: Wait, wait! You know are you guys are you coming back tonight?
011iver: Yeah, maybe.
Chuck: Don't count on it.
Must Love Robots
Created By Jim Babb
and Tanner Ringerud
Executive Producer
Rhys Mussman
Written By
Jim Babb
Tanner Ringerud
Courtney Elle
Jim Senderhauf
Starring
Ken Amarit as Robot Porn Director
Jim Babb as Tim Scribbles
Raoul Caes as Glen
Courtney Elle as Chuck Quartz
Jessica Floeh as Girl Robot
Dru Johnston as Carol Coldoil
Jake Kalos as Boy Robot and Robophobe Hick
Tanner Ringerud as 011iver
Jim Senderhauf as Pastor Ned Ludd
Girls Brave Enough To Go On Dates With A Robot
Rowan Lambelle (the human)
Max Weselcouch (the cyborg)
Cassie Newman (the being of pure energy)
Original Music By
Geof Benson (as Tobor the 808th Man)
Jim Senderhauf (as Ned Ludd)
Robot Speed Dating Coordinators
Sean Stacey
Michelle Senderhauf
Glen Czaplewski
Special Thanks To... Well, there are too many of you to thank...
So thanks to everyone who contributed,
and to everyone who showed up for Robot Speed Dating in Portland.
Thanks to ARG community for playing along,
and to our friends for putting up with our antics,
and to our parents for giving birth to us,
and to musicians nice enough to license their music under creative commons,
and to everyone else who supported us.
In memory of Dave Szulborski
We were never fortunate enough to have known him,
but his guidance was essential in everything we've done.
Hooray! Chuck and 011ie are together! Of course, could it have ended any other way? It's not like this could have suddenly turned into a horror movie where 011ie goes over to Glen's place and finds Chuck brutally murdered with bird feathers and crickets everywhere. Right?
So that's the end. And it's bittersweet because as happy as I am that 011ie and Chuck did get together, I'm sad that the game is ending. I adored this game so much. Not just because it was a well written and well executed ARG, but also because the characters were so believable that I really did find myself becoming friends with 011ie, Tim and Chuck. Of course I do know that is in no small part due to fact that Tanner, Jim and Courtney did such a marvelous job voicing them. At least I can console myself now knowing that I have made three new friends (four if you add Jim Senderhauf) - and better ones at that since they're real and not fictional.
So congratulations to everyone involved on such an amazing game. You have pretty much ruined my chances of ever finding a new ARG to play again as I will be wanting the same high quality story and writing and production in future games which I know that 95% of PuppetMasters today just can't produce. But that's okay - because I wouldn't have missed this game for the world.
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Credits |
Must Love Robots
Created By Jim Babb
and Tanner Ringerud
Executive Producer
Rhys Mussman
Written By
Jim Babb
Tanner Ringerud
Courtney Elle
Jim Senderhauf
Starring
Ken Amarit as Robot Porn Director
Jim Babb as Tim Scribbles
Raoul Caes as Glen
Courtney Elle as Chuck Quartz
Jessica Floeh as Girl Robot
Dru Johnston as Carol Coldoil
Jake Kalos as Boy Robot and Robophobe Hick
Tanner Ringerud as 011iver
Jim Senderhauf as Pastor Ned Ludd
Girls Brave Enough To Go On Dates With A Robot
Rowan Lambelle (the human)
Max Weselcouch (the cyborg)
Cassie Newman (the being of pure energy)
Original Music By
Geof Benson (as Tobor the 808th Man)
Jim Senderhauf (as Ned Ludd)
Robot Speed Dating Coordinators
Sean Stacey
Michelle Senderhauf
Glen Czaplewski
Special Thanks To... Well, there are too many of you to thank...
So thanks to everyone who contributed,
and to everyone who showed up for Robot Speed Dating in Portland.
Thanks to ARG community for playing along,
and to our friends for putting up with our antics,
and to our parents for giving birth to us,
and to musicians nice enough to license their music under creative commons,
and to everyone else who supported us.
In memory of Dave Szulborski
We were never fortunate enough to have known him,
but his guidance was essential in everything we've done.
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Puppetmaster Chat |
The PM chat with the cast of Must Love Robots was held on the 99th ARG Netcast. Jim Babb, Tanner Ringerud, Courtney Sadler, Jim Senderhauf and Raoul Caes answered our questions live via the ARG Netcast Ustream channel. Even though us live viewers experienced audio issues during the recording (not that we blame you for it, jamesi), the podcast audio is great so make sure you download it and listen.
And now I guess we really do have to say good-bye. *Sniff* :(
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See the Intro page for a list of all the websites, plus brief information about this guide and the game.
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