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Admin Login |
Timetobuzzthetower received a package from Tim and 011iver containing some MBILF swag. He got a clock that was supposed to go along with the mug I received, but they split them up to spread the love around some more.
Now the 6:45 clue makes sense. If you were to set the clock to 6:45, the hands would point at the heart and the fire symbol. Put them together and you get the username "heartburn".
Now for the password: take these when you get <heartburn>. This is where it gets a bit tricky. There are all sorts of different things you can take for heartburn, from the generic term of antacids to specific brand names, like Alka-Seltzer and Rolaids. Based on the password to the Members Only page (which actually seems to be unprotected now), we were trying everything in lowercase. My initial list of passwords contained 26 different possibilities. When none of those worked, we went back and started playing around with uppercase in both the username and password. Still no joy.
I even asked @TimScribbles what he had taken after eating 011iver's muffins, hoping to get a clue as to what we should be taking for heartburn. All I got back from him was that he took nothing (because 011iver reads his tweets). Thanks Tim, that wasn't helpful at all. Luckily, someone looked through their medicine cabinet and gave us a list of what they took - including TUMS.
Yes, TUMS in all uppercase letters. This, of course, is the password to the Admin only site. And, of course, I have a problem with it in that, unless we have a specific hint pointing at non-standard capitalization, we tend to think of either all lowercase or just an initial uppercase letter. I now know that TUMS the brand name tends to be all uppercase letters, but I'd be willing to bet that most people would write it as Tums if they were doing capitalization. If you do a Google search on TUMS, both Tums and TUMS shows up on the list of pages on the website - so even website designers don't always think of it as TUMS. I definitely would have been happy if the password had been "tums" and could have dealt with "Tums" as the password as well. "TUMS" just annoys me and even my non-ARG friend thought that it was an poor choice. Oh well, live and learn - double check the official names of products if they are used as a password.
username: heartburn
password: TUMS
The Admin page shows the MBILF access logs for the month of May. Most of it is system checks, login information, uploading/deleting of pages, new user registrations, etc. But there are a few interesting bits. I've broken the events up per day, color coded, and added descriptions so you can see what's going on easier.
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<050109 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<050109 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
<050109 9:00PM> /login= {lugnut}
<050109 9:00PM> /pageupload= {photos.html}
<050109 9:00PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
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Lugnut uploads photos.html |
<050209 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<050209 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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<050309 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<050309 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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<050409 4:06PM> /login= {coldoil}
<050409 4:08PM> /logoff= {coldoil}
<050409 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<050409 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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Carol Coldoil logs in for 2 minutes. |
<050509 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<050536 8:36PM> /login= {lugnut}
<050536 8:36PM> /pagedelete= {webcam.html}
<050536 8:36PM> /pageupload= {ramsavage.html}
<050536 8:36PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<050509 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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Lugnut deletes webcam.html and uploads ramsavage.html |
<050609 12:48AM> /newuser= {robostud}
<050609 12:48AM> /login= {lugnut}
<050609 12:48AM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<050609 12:48AM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<050609 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<050609 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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Robostud signs up as a new user. Lugnet sends the new user error mail (that states that there is an error contacting the database). |
<050709 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<050709 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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<050809 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<050809 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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<050909 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<050909 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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<051009 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<051009 8:10PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051009 8:10PM> /pageupload= {index.html}
<051009 8:10PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<051009 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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Lugnut uploads a new index.html |
<051109 1:11PM> /newuser= {klumppbot}
<051109 1:11PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051109 1:11PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051109 1:11PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<051109 3:47PM> /newuser= {nikobot}
<051109 3:47PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051109 3:47PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051109 3:47PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<051109 7:09PM> /newuser= {Dan}
<051109 7:09PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051109 7:09PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051109 7:09PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<051109 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<051109 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
<051109 9:25PM> /newuser= {NomoRobo}
<051109 9:25PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051109 9:25PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051109 9:25PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
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Klumppbot, nikobot, Dan, and NomoRobo sign up as new users. Lugnut sends the new user error mail to each of them. |
<051209 1:44PM> /login= {ram}
<051209 1:44PM> /pageupload= {ramsavage.html}
<051209 1:44PM> /logoff= {ram}
<051209 7:51PM> /newuser= {Adam}
<051209 7:51PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051209 7:51PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051209 7:51PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<051209 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<051209 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
<051209 11:22PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051209 11:22PM> /pageupload= {photos.html}
<051209 11:22PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
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RamSavage uploads a new call.
Adam signs up as a new user. Lugnut sends the new user error email.
Lugnut uploads new photos. |
<051309 11:39AM> /newuser= {Rowan72}
<051309 11:39AM > /login= {lugnut}
<051309 11:39AM > /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051309 11:39AM > /logoff= {lugnut}
<051309 1:56PM> /login= {ram}
<051309 1:56PM> /pageupload= {ramsavage.html}
<051309 1:56PM> /logoff= {ram}
<051309 5:09PM> /newuser= {varin}
<051309 5:09PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051309 5:09PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051309 5:09PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<051309 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<051309 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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Rowan72 and varin sign up as new users. Lugnut sends the new user error email to both.
RamSavage uploads a new call. |
<051409 2:14PM> /login= {ram}
<051409 2:14PM> /pageupload= {ramsavage.html}
<051409 2:14PM> /logoff= {ram}
<051409 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<051409 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
<051409 11:14PM> /newuser= {Chip}
<051409 11:14PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051409 11:14PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051409 11:14PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
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RamSavage uploads a new call.
Chip signs up as a new user. Lugnet sends the new user error email. |
<051509 1:50PM> /login= {ram}
<051509 1:50PM> /pageupload= {ramsavage.html}
<051509 1:50PM> /logoff= {ram}
<051509 2:06PM> /login= {ram}
<051509 2:06PM> /pageupload= {ramsavage.html}
<051509 2:06PM> /logoff= {ram}
<051509 6:15PM> /login= {coldoil}
<051509 6:20PM> /logoff= {coldoil}
<051509 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<051509 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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RamSavage uploads two new calls.
Carol Coldoil logs in for 5 minutes. |
<051609 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<051609 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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<051709 3:56PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051709 3:56PM> /pageupload= {index.html}
<051709 3:56PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<051709 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<051709 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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Lugnut uploads a new index.html |
<051809 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<051809 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
<051809 11:00PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051809 11:00PM> /pageupload= {index.html}
<051809 11:00PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
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Lugnut uploads a new index.html |
<051909 2:02PM> /login= {ram}
<051909 2:02PM> /pageupload= {ramsavage.html}
<051909 2:02PM> /logoff= {ram}
<051909 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<051909 8:33PM> /newuser= {Jain}
<051909 8:33PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051909 8:33PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051909 8:33PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<051909 8:35PM> /newuser= {PostLarval}
<051909 8:35PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051909 8:35PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051909 8:35PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<051909 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
<051909 9:47PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051909 9:47PM> /pageupload= {photos.html}
<051909 9:47PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<051909 10:17PM> /newuser= {Lysithea}
<051909 10:17PM> /login= {lugnut}
<051909 10:17PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<051909 10:17PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
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RamSavage uploads a new call.
Jain, PostLarval and Lysithea sign up as new users. Lugnut sends the new user error mail to each of them.
Lugnut uploads new photos. |
<052009 12:12AM> /newuser= {Jermo}
<052009 12:12AM> /login= {lugnut}
<052009 12:12AM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052009 12:12AM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052009 12:56AM> /newuser= {vapor}
<052009 12:56AM> /login= {lugnut}
<052009 12:56AM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052009 12:56AM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052009 2:00AM> /login= {lugnut}
<052009 2:00AM> /pageupload= {nonmembers.html}
<052009 2:00AM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052009 3:41AM> /newuser= {Tenchizard}
<052009 3:41AM> /login= {lugnut}
<052009 3:41AM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052009 3:41AM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052009 1:22PM> /newuser= {Will}
<052009 1:22PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052009 1:22PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052009 1:22PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052009 3:05PM> /newuser= {Gupfee}
<052009 3:05PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052009 3:05PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052009 3:05PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052009 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<052009 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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Jermo, vapor, Tenchizard, Will, and Gupfee sign up as new users. Lugnut sends the new user error mail to each of them.
Lugnut uploads a new nonmembers.html |
<052109 12:50PM> /newuser= {H(e)x.}
<052109 12:50PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052109 12:50PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052109 12:50PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052109 1:00PM> /login= {coldoil}
<052109 1:14PM> /logoff= {coldoil}
<052109 2:20PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052109 2:20PM> /pageupload= {index.html}
<052109 2:20PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052109 6:25PM> /newuser= {Shal}
<052109 6:25PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052109 6:25PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052109 6:25PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052109 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<052109 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
<052109 10:55PM> /newuser= {Obtusitivity}
<052109 10:55PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052109 10:55PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052109 10:55PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
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H(e)x., Shal, and Obtusitivity sign up as new users. Lugnut sends the new user error mail to each of them.
Carol Coldoil logs in for 14 minutes.
Lugnut uploads a new index.html |
<052209 10:19AM> /newuser= {Carnage Black}
<052209 10:19AM> /login= {lugnut}
<052209 10:19AM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052209 10:19AM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052209 10:19PM> /login= {coldoil}
<052209 10:35PM> /logoff= {coldoil}
<052209 2:20PM> /login= {ram}
<052209 2:20PM> /pageupload= {ramsavage.html}
<052209 2:20PM> /logoff= {ram}
<052209 3:15PM> /newuser= {Arcas}
<052209 3:15PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052209 3:15PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052209 3:15PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052209 6:03PM> /newuser= {Chixor}
<052209 6:03PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052209 6:03PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052209 6:03PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052209 7:18PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052209 7:18PM> /pageupload= {photos.html}
<052209 7:18PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052209 7:18PM> /login= {coldoil}
<052209 7:24PM> /logoff= {coldoil}
<052209 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<052209 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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Carnage Black, Arcas, and Chixor sign up as new users. Lugnut sends the new user error mail to each of them.
Carol Coldoil logs in for 16 minutes.
RamSavage uploads a new call.
Lugnut uploads new photos.
Carol Coldoil logs in for 6 minutes. |
<052309 6:06PM> /newuser= {Ivan}
<052309 6:06PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052309 6:06PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052309 6:06PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052309 6:07PM> /login= {coldoil}
<052309 6:11PM> /logoff= {coldoil}
<052309 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<052309 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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Ivan signs up as new user. Lugnut sends the new user error mail.
Carol Coldoil logs in for 6 minutes.
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<052409 9:37AM> /newuser= {Trojan.Man.32x}
<052409 9:37AM> /login= {lugnut}
<052409 9:37AM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052409 9:37AM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052409 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<052409 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
<052409 11:11PM> /newuser= {Moe Mentum}
<052409 11:11PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052409 11:11PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052409 11:11PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052409 11:12PM> /login= {coldoil}
<052409 11:28PM> /logoff= {coldoil}
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Trojan.Man.32x and Moe Mentum sign up as new users. Lugnut sends the new user error mail to each of them.
Carol Coldoil logs in for 14 minutes.
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<052509 12:06AM> /login= {lugnut}
<052509 12:06AM> /pageupload= {users/admin/lastwill.html}
<052509 12:06M> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052509 12:08AM> /login= {coldoil}
<052509 12:28AM> /logoff= {coldoil}
<052509 1:14AM> /login= {coldoil}
<052509 2:348AM> /logoff= {coldoil}
<052509 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<052509 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
<052509 10:29PM> /newuser= {Dirt Diver}
<052509 10:29PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052509 10:29PM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052509 10:29PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052509 10:30PM> /login= {coldoil}
<052509 10:32PM> /login= {lugnut}
<052509 10:32PM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052509 10:36PM> /logoff= {coldoil}
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Lugnut uploads lastwill.html
Carol Coldoil logs in for 20 minutes.
Carol Coldoil logs in for another 20 minutes.
Dirt Diver signs up as new user. Lugnut sends the new user error mail.
Carol Coldoil logs in for 6 minutes. Lugnut logs in while Coldoil is logged in.
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<052609 9:29AM> /newuser= {13S113}
<052609 9:29AM> /login= {lugnut}
<052609 9:29AM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052609 9:29AM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052609 10:47AM> /newuser= {imbri}
<052609 10:47AM> /login= {lugnut}
<052609 10:47AM> /sendmail= {newusererror}
<052609 10:47AM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052609 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<052609 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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13S113 and imbri sign up as new users. Lugnut sends the new user error mail to each of them.
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<052709 4:12AM> /login= {lugnut}
<052709 4:12AM> /pageupload= {users/admin/error/lugnutERROR.html}
<052709 4:12AM> /logoff= {lugnut}
<052709 4:13AM> /login= {coldoil}
<052709 4:14AM> /userdisable= {lugnut}
<052709 4:14AM> /userban= {lugnut}
<052709 4:14AM> /userdelte= {lugnut}
<052709 4:15AM> /newuser= {lugnutmark2}
<052709 4:17AM> /logoff= {coldoil}
<052709 9:53AM> /newuser= {anonymouseclicker}
<052709 9:53AM> /login= {lugnutmark2}
<052709 9:53AM> /sendmail= {newuserlogindisabled}
<052709 9:53AM> /logoff= {lugnutmark2}
<052709 10:43AM> /newuser= {qvq2}
<052709 10:43AM> /login= {lugnutmark2}
<052709 10:43AM> /sendmail= {newuserlogindisabled}
<052709 10:43AM> /logoff= {lugnutmark2}
<052709 7:59PM> /runtime= {cache reset}
<052709 9:00PM> /runtime= {system check}
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Lugnut uploads lugnutERROR.html
Carol Coldoil logs in. He disables, bans, and deletes Lugnet. He creates a new user LugnutMark2.
Anonymouseclicker and qvq2 sign up as new users. LugnutMark2 sends the new user login disabled email to each of them.
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<052809 12:52AM> /newuser= {highwind}
<052809 12:52AM> /login= {lugnutmark2}
<052809 12:52AM> /sendmail= {newuserlogindisabled}
<052809 12:52AM> /logoff= {lugnutmark2}
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Highwind signs up as new user. LugnutMark2 sends the new user login disabled email.
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Holy crap! Carol Coldoil disabled, banned and deleted Lugnut! If you check out his RFF profile, you'll see his name has been changed to Lugnut Mark2 (the new AI that Coldoil uploaded) and the creepy robobaby picture is gone. His new avatar just says ADMIN. Looking back through the logs, there is some slightly odd behavior by Lugnut on May 25th and May 27th. On the 25th, he uploads his Last Will and Testament and logs into MBILF for seemingly no reason while Coldoil is logged in. Then on the 27th, Lugnut uploads an ERROR page. One minute later, and Coldoil is removing Lugnut from the system. Obviously we now need go to check what Lugnut was doing that pissed off Coldoil so much.
Update: By the way, I registered a new account on MBILF so I could see what the 'newuserlogindisabled' email was. It states that due to 'site maintenance' the password for the member's only section has been disabled. Probably because LugnutMark2 doesn't know how to fix the database.
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Congratulations!
You are now a member of the hottest computer themed adult video website on the internet.
At this time, we are currently performing site maintenance, and the password entry for the
member's only section is temporarily disabled. For a limited time, you can enjoy the raunchiest
robot erotica available in one place, absolutely free. Enjoy!
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Last Will and Testament of Lugnut |
At first glance, the Last Will page looks to be Morse Code. But there are too many dots and dashes per each character, so it's not valid Morse. However, if you replace the dots with 0 and the dashes with 1, you get a message encoded in binary.
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My Dear,
Im so sorry you had to find out this way, but if youre reading this, it means that Mr. C has found me out, and has taken steps to destroy me. Its too bad, I was just getting used to this great new body of mine. I guess it was my fault for digging too deep into the servers, intercepting one email too many of Mr. Cs. Ive potentially uncovered something that could spell the end of all robot-kind, I dont want to reveal too much to you right now, I fear that if you know what I know, we risk Mr. C powering you down as well. I cant let that happen to you. Ive done my best to cover my tracks, but Im guessing if that idiot caught me, itd be possible for you or any other server bot to track down the information. Im so sorry, we will always have / paris.html
Yours forever,
Lugnut
Wow, so Lugnut caught Coldoil doing something potential fatal for all robotkind. My roboporn sex slave theory isn't looking so stupid now, is it? Lugnut doesn't say who he's talking to, but if it's a server bot on MBILF, there can't be too many possibilities. RamSavage maybe? Someone with access over on RobotFriendFinder?
Lugnut mentions /paris.html, but there isn't one in the root directory of MBILF, or in the /users or /users/admin directories. Looking at the source code of the will, Lugnut points to another directory with two images in it: http://www.mbilf.biz/users/admin/metrics/metrics1.jpg and metrics2.jpg. I swear I had found a passworded paris.html page under the /metrics directory when we first started searching, but it's no longer there. :(
But there is one password protected page we don't have a login for: lugnutERROR.html. This must be what the metric puzzles are for.
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The Metrics Puzzles |
Metric Puzzle #1 is a diagram of a relatively simple circuit where we have to find the value of I. If you do the math, you get a value of I=1000 A.
Metric Puzzle #2 is a set of logic gates. Lysithea was nice enough to post the explanation of the logic gate solve of 10101.
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{ (false AND false) OR (true AND true) } AND (true OR false) = true = 1
(I'm not sure on the second one) = false = 0
{ (not false) OR (not true) } = true = 1
( true XOR true ) = false = 0
(not sure on the fifth one) = true = 1
Putting together the two metric puzzles solves, we get the username and password of the ERROR page.
username: 1000
password: 10101
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lugnutERROR |
This is last page that the original Lugnut was able to upload onto MBILF before Coldoil zapped him. It's a corny joke about Beethoven decomposing which links to an even creepier video of Lugnut in the robo-baby body singing Every Rose Has Its Thorn. I'm really not sad that the robo-baby is dead, although I will miss Lugnut the AI.
If this message has any deeper meaning, I don't know what it is. We don't have any open logins since we can't find a paris.html page anywhere. It seems strange that his last communication would only be a joke and the very odd video without having some hidden message, but who knows. If there is a hidden message, maybe we'll find instructions later on how to decode it.
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Gospel #2 |
Pastor Ned "The Crackpot" Ludd has another Gospel posted on his YouTube. This time he talks about the FacePlaces and the MyPlaces and the 2XL. He even has pretty pictures of computers and frogs with tea kettles during the video. I wonder if he puts them in there or if Jonny the webguy does. Either way it's kinda funny.
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I don't know. It's so clear, to me, and to everyone at Devotional Indiana Community Service. Church. In Valparaiso, Indiana. I am Reverend Ned Ludd. This is my church. This is my vision. It is built on my vision. Now I'm so, I'm so heartened by your photos that you've been putting in on my websites. I want to thank Jonny who does all the website work. For putting all them in there.
What we are trying to do, as I've said, for all the people who can come to my sermons, which are randomly sporadic depending on my availability. But if you can make it to the church, you can find out where that is on the website. I think you can. It's on the website.
I'm growing, I'm trying to grow a church that is without the boundaries of walls. My mission, my vision is one. It is, we cannot blame the parents. We cannot blame the culture. That we have grown up in. Because we are all the frogs in the boiling water. You see? We are all the frogs in the slowly boiling water around us. When you grew up with your, let's say like in the 50's they had a good healthy fear of the robots. And you could see it in their movies and it made sense. Robots are something that you should be scared of, something that could take over the world and destroy us all.
But, as some point in the 70's, what happened was. I had. One of my favorite toys was the 2XL. The 2XL was a robot that had an 8 track tape in it, which is rewritable, recordable I'm sure. And it did plug into the electronic grid systems. At that time though, it was a simple device. Okay? It was not reprogrammed. It did not have data coming from the internets. Or, it did not connect to The Google. There was no FacePlace back then. The kids did not have the MyPlaces. And so, the important thing was, is that it was disconnected and separate from. And that is just no longer.
You can't trust, like I said, you can't trust the microwave! At any time, these machines are being built by other machines. You see? The other machines could have a rewritable piece of silicone that would or could be changed at any time when connected to the electric grid. It doesn't have to be connected to the internets. See? Because they put the data down the electrical grid!
I probably should say that I broke down and emailed Paster Ned the other day to complain about my treatment at Prospect Park during my date with 011iver. He didn't say much back to me, besides that fact that I was confused and in the grasp of Satan. Because he has such a large congregation, he can't respond as much as he would like over email, but said he would address my email in an upcoming sermon. I can't wait.
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Rowan,
Your confusion is as sickening to me as it is sad as well. Satan's
grasp on you is causing your inability to see that you are sitting on
that blanket with a machine. You are interacting with a program.
Your technoconfusion is indicating of the state that we find ourselves
today. You, more than ever, need to heed my vision and I invite you
to join our church for a sermon. As I have a large congregation, I
cannot respond personally to all mails sent over the computers. I did
want to let you know that I will address your situation in an upcoming
videotape. Please consider that it is I who have the open mind - to
God's clear vision. He spoke to me. It doesn't get much more open
than that. These machines that you find yourself so cozy with are
going to shortly rise up and reconfigure on the great day of
reconfiguration. Your apathy is exactly what they want. That is how
they seduce you with their easygoing nature with jokes and helpful
programming. Don't be fooled. We aare being fattened before the
kill! It is imperitive that you protect yourself and listen to my
sermons. I do this from Love and sometimes that hurts. For that I am
sorry as they say.
Pastor Ludd
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011iver Is Depressed |
The robophobe breaking up our date really affected 011iver. He's become all depressed. Tim has even resorted to starting a discussion on RobotFriendFinder asking for advice from others who have run into robot-haters. One of the bots who responded was 2XL. I wonder if thats the same 2XL that once belonged to Reverend Nutter.
I really hope 011iver feels better soon. It sucks knowing he's all sad and that nothing we do is making him feel any better.
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Pastor Ned Responds |
As I said up above, I wrote Pastor Ned an email about my date with 011iver getting ruined. True to his word, he recorded a video response and was even nice enough to post my original letter up on his website.
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Good day. Pastor Ned Ludd of the Devotional Indiana Community Service Church in Valparaiso, Indiana. I was gonna do an episode. A web-a-log oh back-teching simple devices so that they are safe for use. Taking em off electrical grid systems. Although it may be impossible at this point. But I have been interrupted. I've been disturbed. I've received a "messive" of along the "Email-uhline" where someone is upset by somebody in my congregation speaking their mind.
If I understand correctly, there was a woman on a date through one of a recent. One of the most recent, most upsetting things that we've seen on this internets. It's a Friend Finding Robot Website where robots and people and animals and vegetables and, God's sake, anything that wants to touch each other or get on each other or whatever the hell they do up in there. Which is upsetting to God.
I never thought this day would come. That we would be at this point, this soon. If I had seen you in my own, with my own eyes. And on a blanket having a romantic date with a machine. I. I'm quite certain I might have said somethings that I'd regret later. If they violated the law, I apologize. For that. But only for that.
All right. I did want to use this time to discuss with my congregation that I do want them to give me some more pictures from the protests. I want to put up on the website. I want to show people that we are active. I know that you know that we're active. I want to encourage everybody to. Perhaps you have got some ideas to on how to back-tech certain devices and and maybe you could send us some video of that. We could put all that up too. I think. I think Jonny could probably do that.
Pastor Ned cracks me up. I love how upset and flustered he gets. I can't stop giggling. And the text that goes up while he's talking: "web-a-log," "messive, "Email-uhline". Total awesome-sauce. And the squash! Don't get me started on the squash!
You may have also noticed that a screen shot of Pastor Ned's Personal Directory was inserted into the video. I wonder if this is Jonny or if some AI is really coming down the electrical grid and adding this stuff into the video.
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Ned Ludd Personal Directory |
The personal directory of Pastor Ned is at http://godhatesrobots.org/personal/. You can tell its an absolutely awesome directory because it utilizes the <blink> and <marquee> tags! Sadly there aren't any animated unicorns decorating the page. But I don't know if God allows Pastor Ned to believe in unicorns. Maybe I should ask him.
Pastor Ned has three very important things in his personal directory: a confidential mp3, a zip file full of photos, and a link to the hamster dance. Maybe because the hamster dance page has so many animated .gifs on it, he didn't feel the need to add them on his page. But you do need animated .gifs, Pastor Ned. You need a lot of them!
There are five photos in the zip file: angry.jpg, caring.sexy.jpg, epic.profile.jpg, pointing.concerned.jpg and timemag.jpg. Looks like Pastor Ned had his own little photoshoot. Could it be he's planning on broadly marketing GodHatesRobots? You can tell he wants to be on Time Magazine. Somehow I don't quite see them declaring him the Man of the Year. He couldn't even stuff the ballot box to win Most Influential Person since he hates computers so much. But we wish him the best of luck.
The confidential audio is really surprising. Pastor Ned is practically crying as he starts to talk about how, in fact, he once had a robot as a friend. But something terrible must have happened because Pastor Ned can't talk about it. Hmm, what could have happened? Could his robot friend been dragged into the robo-porn business? I bet that would upset a man of God like Pastor Ned. Or maybe it's something as simple as his robot friend ran off with his wife. Or went robo-crazy and killed all of Pastor Ned's family like a Terminator. If I had to put money down, I'd think I bet on robo-porn.
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Okay? You're taking God out of the game. Uh huh. And this is upsettin' to 'em. So. That's the basic idea. Right in there. I really, I don't know what else to say for this week. Having dates with people. It does remind me of. It reminds me of something. You might think I never, I never knew a robot. You might think I never saw a robot that I liked. And that's not true. I had a friend who was a robot. I can't talk about this.
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011iver Calls Ram |
Tim, in his never-ending quest to get 011iver out of his funk, suggested that 011ie call RamSavage to get some advice. I told 011ie that he should ask how to pick up girls in the City and maybe how to dance. He must have liked my idea because that's what he asked RamSavage.
Ram puts up her advice pretty quickly, because right after Tim tweeted that 011ie had called, the audio was up on the website. There was another audio file from a bot called P.L. as well, but that wasn't nearly as interesting as what Ram had to say to 011iver.
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Q: Hello, you can call me P.L. Please pardon my use of antiquated voice synthesis. I am having some repairs done after an unplanned encounter between my body and the ocean. Anyhow, Ram, this is my situation. I recently fell for this new monitor. She is incredible, bright and beautiful, slender, great definition and had never hooked up before. I had her move in with me almost immediately, which turned out to be a huge mistake. Our first night together, she asked me if I wanted to play a game. I quickly got her all turned on. But before she would start working for me she told me she needed to interface with other devices. Long story short, by the end of the night, every machine in my apartment had plugged into every one of her inputs. I don't know what to do. While part of me enjoys playing games, I don't think I can get over the jealousy. I would very much appreciate your advice. Thank you.
A: Well, P.L., just well. You have a super sexy voice. I wish I could just love your .wav files. Oh frak. Anyways, I believe your monitor friend to be a plug-and-play fiend. It may be difficult for you to hear this, but some machines do not get emotional pleasure out of serial bus interfacing. She is probably getting logged onto from multiple access points as we speak. Are you okay with that? You need to do some serious rebooting and make sure your OS does not contain viruses. Were you using protection? Did somebody say McAfee?
011iver: Hey, Ram. This is 011iver. I just.. trying meet some robot ladies. And I don't know how to go about doing that. And I asked some people online, and they told me to call you and ask you. And said maybe to do something about learning how to dance. I don't know. I don't know how to dance very well. But maybe, but maybe that's an idea.
Tim: (in background) Ask her how to pick up ladies too, in the City.
011iver: I'm asking her. Shut up. God, you ruin everything.
RamSavage: Hey, 011iver. I was supposed to dance, but now I never will. I have a hard time feeling sympathetic for you. Life is like a flower. It seems that we all are completely plucked at the pinnacle of beauty. Have you tried Robot Friend Finder, 011iver? Well, I guess it doesn't matter. Anyways, we would have danced / we will always have / Paris. *Sigh*
So I totally called it: Lugnut was in love with RamSavage. And she knows that he's been killed and now is all depressed herself. Great, two depressed robots and I don't know how to help either one of them. At least Ram gave us a better hint as to where we could find that paris.html page Lugnut was talking about before. First, she mentions RobotFriendFinder. But I had searched all over that for either /paris/ or /paris.html. It wasn't until I listened to her answer again for the transcription that I noticed that she says 'slash' twice - indicating that the first bit is the directory. From there it was easy to find http://www.robotfriendfinder.com/wewillalwayshave/paris.html.
Oh joy! Oh rapture! Another passworded page. Forgive me for a moment while I go killed a kitten. This one has a little message for us that says "Hi. I knew you'd find it." So, what's the password? Not any of the ones we already have. It's gotta be related to the death video of Lugnut. Ram mentions flowers, so that could be talking about the song title Every Rose Has Its Thorn. There's also some very odd flashes in the video that could be something like Morse or binary, but they go by really quick so it's gonna be a pain in the ass to decode if that's the case. There's also the idea from the joke that Beethoven is decomposing and so is playing his music backwards. So the password could be backwards as well. Way too many possibilities to make it easy. Obviously time to start a new password attempt list.
Okay, so it looks like the flashes are the way to go. Dante was good enough to output the number of frames per each section of the flashes so that we didn't have to rely on our eyes picking up each flash. From there it wasn't that hard to decode and figure out the user:pass
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The L indicates a light frame while the D indicates a dark frame, and the numbers show how many frames of each before it switches.
6L 2D 2L 2D 2L 2D 2L 4D 2L 2D 6L 4D 6L 2D 2L 4D 6L 2D 2L 2D 2L 9D
12D 2L 2D 6L 2D 2L 4D 2L 2D 6L 4D 2L 4D 6L 2D 2L 2D 6L 2D 6L 18D
The light frames are the dots and dashes while the dark frames are just for separation.
-... .- -. -.. = BAND
.-. .- . -.-- = REAY (YEAR backwards)
So it seems like the username:password should be the Band and the Year of the song backwards. Which would be poison:8891. Except that doesn't work. I guess maybe the Beethoven joke was to tell us to read REAY backwards to get YEAR in case we couldn't figure it out, because the password that does work is poison:1988 - which isn't bad, but I still like the idea of a backwards word meaning something.
username: poison
password: 1988
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We'll Always Have Paris |
The Paris page has a lovely ASCII drawing of a hand an the Eiffel Tower. It also has a countdown which is scheduled to go off in 8 days. So we're going to have to check back on Saturday, June 6th around 10pm to find out what Lugnut planned. The message in the javascript when the countdown ends now says "To quote another famous robot... 'I'll be back'" - so maybe Lugnut hid a copy of himself somewhere and will come back from the dead next Saturday. I hope so. I also hope he doesn't jump back into creepy robo-baby because, I'm sorry, it freaks me out!
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Deep Blues |
011iver is in a serious funk. He's been sitting on the couch, watching Rocky and eating potato chips, Fiber One and McDonald's drinks. By the way, I think I'm going to start a new game: Find the McDonalds reference. I can name three so far. What about you? Anyways, back to 011iver. Tim is useless. He doesn't even seem to notice that 011iver needs serious help. Luckily, once again Chuck is there to point out the obvious. I don't think either Tim or 011iver could survive very long if Chuck suddenly disappeared.
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Chuck: How long has he been like this?
Tim: Off and on. Since the date. What am I gonna do?
Chuck: Normally he doesn't let those robophobic pricks get to him.
Tim: Really? A zombie? This shit just got real.
Chuck: Maybe it's because he really was getting into this whole dating thing? I'm worried.
Tim: Think so? He's upset?
Chuck: Uh, have you looked at him lately?
Tim: Ah, he's fine. He'll get over it.
Chuck: I think you should talk to him.
Tim: I've been busy.
Chuck: Hmm. Sure. Busy with what exactly?
Tim: My business is starting to take off.
Chuck: Right, your business.
Tim: Why do I always have to do everything? Why don't you do something for a change, huh?
Chuck: Because, you're his bro... and he's your bot.
Tim: And he's my bot. Okay fine. I'll talk to him.
Chuck: Good. Critical hit. FTW. Face!
011iver: Missed! Do you think God really hates robots?
Tim: Of course not, you silly assbot. You've dealt with these people before. They're a bunch of douchers.
011iver: Yeah.
Tim: So what's the big deal? What's different this time?
011iver: They always seem to bother me at the worst possible time. Robophobia is a well documented tradition of hate that dates back to the very first machines. My great-great-grandfather dealt with robot haters back then. So did my great-grandfather. And my father. I was just hoping that it would get better with time. It's only gotten worse. Since all those states started outlawing robo-marriages and those D.I.C.S. people started getting in my face.
Chuck: I hate haters. You know, there are a lot of people out there who love robots.
Tim: I love robots!
Chuck: Yeah, I love robots too.
Tim: A lot of people out there really like robots. They must love robots!
Chuck: Listen, we're gonna get you out of this funk.
Tim: Yeah, let's go!
Chuck: And we're gonna get our online friends to help us.
Tim: Yeah, we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. Let's do it. Right?
011iver: Will you hand me that remote? It's right there.
*Must Love Robots*
011iver: Tim! Tim! Come hand me the remote!
I don't know about you, but I had no idea that Abraham Lincoln was really a robot. The things you learn playing ARGs. Another thing I don't know: how many times "Tim" got hit with the flying lightsaber during filming. I'm quite curious. Someone please remind me to ask during the PM chat.
What's weird about all of this is that I thought that maybe 011iver had been getting better. He tweeted that he was trying to get a date with a Cyborg girl, but maybe because she hasn't confirmed is the reason he's still depressed.
But at least Tim and Chuck have decided to try to help 011ie and get all us internet peeps to help. Because we never come up with bad suggestions about what to do. I suggested a pet or copious amounts of alcohol since robots and Slip-N-Slide's don't mix. But I do like to think my Slip-N-Slide suggestion helped to spawn the idea of getting 011iver a lubejob and a rubdown.
I also had an idea that maybe 011iver could give Tim a creative haircut, but I figured that wouldn't really go over good with Tim. But I get the feeling that Chuck likes the idea of Tim getting a trim. Too bad for her that Tim is fairly oblivious to everything around him. I'm not even sure that pointing out to Tim that Chuck might be a good girl for him would do anything. It would actually probably backfire. Poor Chuck.
Oh! Almost forgot! The Inactiveware Tshirt winners were announced. Lysithea, Jbabbogrin and H( e )X are all going to be receiving free tshirts. And if they provided photos, they'll also become Inactiveware models. Yay!
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It's Timmy Time! |
In the Deep Blues video, Tim mentioned that the reason he didn't know anything was wrong with 011iver was because he been busy with his new business that's taking off. For some reason, I kept forgetting to ask Tim what this new business was. Luckily, Dante found it through the related videos from Pastor Ned's Second Sermon.
Tim's new business is called Super Great Ideas and he gives Super Great Ideas to companies for money. Or at least that's what he claims. I don't know if he's actually gotten paid for anything yet or not. I will admit that the url http://www.supergreatideas.com is a pretty good one. I bet he could probably sell that after this is all over with for some cash.
His first great idea is for Pizza Hut: Crust Lovers Pizza. He's giving it out as a freebie. I guess he wants to get them hooked on his great ideas and then start charging them obscene amounts of money for additional ones. I really hope that works out for him.
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Tim: Hi Internet! My name is Timothy Scribbles. I'm here to tell you a little bit about my super great ideas. Um, as...
*Super Great Ideas Theme Song*
011iver: What are you doing?
Tim: That's my intro.
011iver: Wait, that's the intro you're going to show every time?
Tim: Well... I've got some ideas. And I take my ideas and I give them to corporations because they need good ideas all the time. So I've got some super great ones. Okay? So I'm gonna give you like an example of some of the pitches that I do for big name companies and you'll see how I deliver the ideas and also, you know. This is sort of a forum for idea sharing. So here, here let me start off, okay?
011iver: (whispering) What are you doing?
Tim: Centering my core.
011iver: I don't think anyone is going to think that's very professional.
Tim: Shh. Shh. Shh. Listen up, Pizza Hut! It's Timmy Time! Okay, so... *horn blows*
011iver: Can I stop you? Can we avoid the term "Timmy Time"?
Tim: Listen up, Pizza Hut! It's Timmy Time! Okay, what I've got for you is...
Listen up, Pizza Hut! It's Timmy Time! What do I love? Pizza! What do you love? Pizza! We both love the same thing. I love a different part of the pizza than everyone else. Everyone else loves that, you know, that center part. But there are people out there like me that love one thing. And that is the crust. Okay? And I believe the crust is a part, you know, when you are doing all your crust promotional, you know, your "No Crust", your "Thin Crust", you're basically, you know, cutting out the crust. And I think that's an issue. So I'm gonna just float this by you. I'm gonna send some flavor rays your way. Okay, check this out.
I'm talking about Crust Lovers Pizza, okay? That's just a working title. Right there, here it is. I invented this. Crust Lovers Pizza, as you can see. Let me get this up here. You can see that there's a layer of crust around the outside perimeter and there's also a layer of crust on the inside, okay. And here's the toppings and stuff. But there's a lot less of that because you've got two layers of crust. Okay? And inside here you've got a tasty dipping sauce. I believe this is Cool Ranch.
Okay. So I'm talking like, when you pull up this slice, you can hold it like this, with crust on both sides. You know, munching in the middle, eating that stuff. And then you got those two crusts! We're talking you no longer have one crust, you have the two crusts. And you can dunk those both in the cool ranch.
*what I can only guess is 011iver dying of laughter*
Tim: You know? Super great idea. Take it Pizza Hut. That's a freebie.
This is my new favorite video - at least until the next one comes out. The "Timmy Time!" kills me. Especially when 011iver asks if they can avoid that term. I like how there's a quick cut so you can't see Tim laughing at that. And wow - does Tim look different with a different hairstyle and sans beard. Less geeky and more, I dunno, Jehovah Witness like? Maybe it's just the shirt and tie. But I can kinda see why Chuck would want him to shave.
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Gospel #3 |
Pastor Ned's third Gospel is up. Today he's trying to warn us about robotic toys coming to life and killing us. I wonder how he feels about demonic toys, like Chucky. Or, I guess since Chucky actually had electronics in him, it might not have been demonic possession at all. But the Puppetmaster toys I'm pretty sure had no electronics, so what does he have to say about that?
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A child gets a very small toy. It makes a little noise. It's cute. It has electronic chips in it. And then I see one now that my niece had that you plug into your computer and it says her name. And so now you've got this, you've got this little some kind of kitty cat or something. And it goes "Meow" and it says her name. "Hello Melissa." And then...
So what happens is, next time, when the robots are ready, and the uprising comes. What is. There will be a day of reprogramming. There will be a day of reconfigurations. Of the devices. So what will happen is the data is gonna come down the electrical line when you are charging this thing up. This thing is going to reconfigure itself. Be sitting next to your child and in the middle of the night your little monkey or your little kitty cat that says your child's name. It says "Hey Melissa" and then its gonna grab its neck and you're gonna wake up and you're gonna find this device grasping on its neck and the little child will be "All Dead™".
And that is the day that is coming. That's my vision. Okay?
Some people think I get angry. Or I lose my, my sensibility about this. Or they think I'm overreacting. But the day is gonna come when, what is all around us. You know, you saw the, those devices, those toys where they would turn from a car into a big robot and stand up and everybody thinks "Oh, that's a Science Fiction Fantasy." *laughs* Yeah, science fiction fantasy until they come walking down the street. And you got one big hand that's a cement mixer and another big hand be a dump truck. Come walking down the street. And it may not be like that "exactly", but I had a vision that that's the Apocalypse. See? Because we are playing Gods. See? Now...
If you have a small group of people who are being oppressed and have some intelligence, there will be an uprising. There will be a bloody uprising. [All Dead]
I'm guessing Pastor Ned hasn't seen the video about the Elmo doll that is now spouting out death threats. I bet he would have that doll strung up from a tree so fast it would make your head spin. Or he would stomp it to death. I would suggest microwaving it, but we all know that Pastor Ned doesn't trust the microwave and would probably fear that the microwaves would make it stronger, like the Hulk. A little furry red Hulk with an annoying voice.
Pastor Ned has also posted a video of a protest of three of his congregation protesting outside of an electronics store. Not that I want to take anything away from their right to protest, but I'm a little bit worried that they might be protesting outside of a closed Circuit City. Or maybe that's the idea, that their protests are so powerful they can bring down an entire chain because robots are evil. I'm sure that's gotta be it.
I feel a bit bad that I'm not helping out Pastor Ned at all. But I can't send in any videos of myself without pissing off 011iver and Tim and Chuck since they know what I look like. I guess I could claim it was one of the nawoR clones, but I don't think I want to really try explaining how there are 983,897 clones out there thanks to strifey's workshop.
What I decided to do instead was create some PDFs for Pastor Ned that maybe people could print up and hand out. These were inspired by the lovely flyers that were handed out during the Stop TARP ARG at SXSW. I have two versions: a plain one that you could print out on different colored papers and one with a robot background. So if you would like to print them out and give them to unsupsecting people, be my guest!
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Timmy Time Scrabble Challenge |
Since Chuck beat Tim in the game of Zombies, he's been looking for a new game that he could beat her at. Connect Four is out of the question. Tim says he's burnt out on it, but based on the photographic and video evidence, I'd say it's because he sucks at it.
Chuck then suggested Scrabble and Tim agreed to her challenge. One problem (besides Tim's spelling ability) - he lost the Scrabble board at a bar. So the Scrabble challenge was put on hold until Tim could pony up some money and buy a new game.
That is until Gupfee suggested that they find an online version so we all could play. Tim and 011ie both liked this idea and I found us a pretty decent site to play on: wabble.org.
I played a test game with Dirt_Diver to check out the functionality of the site. I also kicked his butt, but that's besides the point. If you are setting up a game, I would recommend the following settings:
Game Setup
- Game Name: Whatever you'd like
- Public Game: I'd suggest "No - password protected" to keep random people from stealing seats.
- Game Password: If you password protect the game, make the password something easy, like "mbilf"
- Your Player Name: Self-explanatory
- Rejoin Password: Temporary password to rejoin the game in case the browser closes. I'd pick something disposable in case you couldn't play any longer and wanted to hand your seat to someone else.
Advanced Options
- Use Dictonary: OSPD4 seemed to work well during the test game
- Require Valid Words: No. This will allow you to challenge words. Otherwise, you have to play valid words all the time.
- Allow Spectators: Yes. The rest of us want to see what's going on.
- Spectators Can Chat: Yes. The default is No, so be sure to switch it so that Spectators can chat along with the players.
Advanced Options 2
- Turn Time Limit: No. Unless you would like a faster paced game.
- Free 'Bad Rack' Swap: No. Suck it up.
- Disable In-Game Confirmations: Yes. The default is No, so be sure to switch this. It's really annoying to have to click twice to accept words.
We haven't set up a time yet for the Great Timmy Time Scrabble Challenge, but I'm sure it'll be posted around once it's decided upon.
Update: The Great Timmy Time Scrabble Tournament is being held Thursday, June 4, 2009 at 9pm on wabble.org. If you would like to be a part of it, make sure to email 011iver at 011iver@inactiveware.com and he'll add you to the bracket. I may or may not be participtating depending on the number of other people signed up.
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011ie's Video Responses |
011ie decided that because so many people sent him video responses (13S113, H(e)x, Dirt Diver, and Fanny and Zephyr) that he would return the favor. I especially laughed at the Fanny and Zephyr response, and not just because I'm the one that sent in the fan video in the first place.
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Video Response for 13S113
Hi 13S113. It's 011iver. I just wanted to come on real quick and thank you for the video that you sent me. It was really nice. I think your Midwestern accent is very cute. I think it's funny that also you said you were a shy girl and then proceeded to talk about your turn-ons immediately. So, I know a lot of shy people who would wait. Or, possibly, never bring that up at all. But you just went in full hog and I admire that.
Let's see. Oh, Hello Kitty. I, you know, bring a robot, I have a lot of appreciation for the Japanese and their culture. Cause they did a lot for us, for our kind. Let's see, what else did you bring up? Oh, RC Cola. You have a problem with them. But I actually admire RC Cola because they produce Diet Rite. And Diet Rite is delicious diet soda. As for sushi, I don't really eat it because I have a sensitivity to mercury. It gets me really phlegmy. It just kinda stays in my, it stays in my sinuses and throat for a while after I eat sushi, so I avoid it. That's probably... Okay, well thanks for the video. Keep 'em coming.
Video Response for H(e)x
Hi H(e)x! It's 011iver. I got your video. It was nice. It...it...oh, I don't watch that much MBILF. You said, you seemed to imply that it's all I do, but I have a job. I just can't sit at home looking at porn all day. Anyway, I don't know. You should send MBILF an email. They might, might take in you in as a model. I don't know. I don't know how it works. I just, you know, visit the site every now and then when I'm feeling lonely. It's sad.
Video Response for Dirt Diver
011iver: Hi Dirt Diver. It's 011iver. I just wanted to come on real quick and thank you for the video. What you said really meant a lot. You gave me a lot of credit for stuff I didn't really come up with though. Like everything I did on that date was pretty much suggested by someone else. So, I don't know. I guess I'm not as much of a caf-caf-cafanova? Is that his name? Cafanova? I think that might be his name.
Anyway, thanks for the support. You know, I got another, I got another video, another date coming up next week. Or not next... I don't know. There's a cyborg girl, who seems to be mostly human, but she's got robotic parts. So I'm gonna go out with her next week. Or the week after. To the zoo. And I'm pretty nervous about it. I don't know. Do you know, do you know anything, do you know what cyborgs like?
Tim's making motions at me. I'm not gonna listen to him. He's a dick. But, thanks again for the video. Keep 'em coming. I'd like to hear anything else you'd have to say.
Tim: Fine! Fine! I'm gonna come show it to you. Aaah!
Video Response for Fanny and Zephyr
011iver: Hi Fanny and Zephyr. Haha. It's nice to know that I have such a huge fan out there.
Tim: Woo!
011iver: I've never been out on a date with a mom before, but if you're in the New York area, you know, I'd love to go out sometime. We could just chill out.
Tim: *claps*
011iver: It would be really cool.
Tim: Keep 'em coming! Keep 'em coming, buddy!
011iver: Maybe we could go out for a spin.
Tim: *laughs*
011iver: Maybe we can go to a movie and watch Blades of Glory.
Tim: Zing!
011iver: That one felt like a stretch.
Tim: Zing!
011iver: Let's see if I have any more fan puns. I don't think I do. Thanks for the video. My phone numbers on my website if you feel like calling me. Bye.
These videos do leave me with some questions though. For one, why does Tim seemingly have a subscription to the AARP magazine? Secondly, was the placement of 011iver under the oh-so-incredibly-awesome-I-want-a-copy vampire poster intentional? I thought it was pretty funny during the Fanny video. But with the later videos, I couldn't tell if it was a suggestion of sexual activity or if the idea was that 011ie just sucks. I hope its not the latter because 011ie is awesome.
Thirdly, why didn't the sexy microwave get a video response? Is it because she lives on top of Tim and 011ie's microwave that 011ie just doesn't notice her? Or maybe she's just too demanding of him in the mornings when he goes to warm up a cup of coffee. If 011ie is anything like Tim though, I'd bet he just doesn't notice what's right under his nose. Too busy setting up dates with humans and cyborgs to see the microwave right in front of his face.
And finally, who is this cyborg chick that 011ie is gonna go out on a date with? Is she on RFF? Has she sent in a video to him? Will their date at the zoo last longer than my date at the park? I'm not jealous that he's going out with someone else, but I will be jealous if she gets to spend a lot more time with him on their first date than I did on mine.
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Tube Taco |
Timmy has a new great idea, this time for Taco Bell. It's the Tube Taco! Which is like a hotdog made out of hamburger stuffed inside a hard taco shell.
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011iver: Shit!
Tim: Now that I have your attention, Taco Bell, Tim here. I want to tell you about a creation that I have for you. Okay, check this out.
011iver: Say it's "Timmy Time."
Tim: No, I'm not gonna say that again.
011iver: Everyone on here liked it when you said it.
Tim: Okay, here we have a piece of regular beef. Okay? Now, you know, it's like a steak or whatnot. But the thing is, there's nothing, there's nothing really going on with it. So we grind it up. Again, standard, okay? Bring it over here we've got what I like to think of as a tube, tube hamburger. So we take the ground beef and we roll it into a tube. Tube kinda like a hotdog, but its hamburger meat. None of that crumbly crumbly stuff. Because that's the problem with the beef tacos at Taco Bell. You bite into it, all the stuff comes out. It just comes out, you know? You get taco meat with the juices all over you. Delicious, but I want it in here, not down here. So this, this is my solution. Okay, so we have the beef tube right here, okay? And then we put that into the taco so its kinda like a hotdog but you've got your crunchy hard shell. Your soft shell if you're a soft shell person. But I'm a hard shell. So we put this down here, so we've got the tube. What I like to call Tube Taco. Tube Taco right here. Tube Taco. So?
011iver: That's backwards.
Tim: No, it's, no this is backwards. It's frontwards on here. Tube Taco. Taco Bell, give me a call. I'm waiting for it. I love your burritos.
Sadly, this video has a few problems that we should address. For starters: THERE IS NO TIMMY TIME! What the fuck, Tim? How the hell could you cut out the Timmy Time? I even made it my ringtone for when I get text messages, it's that awesome! For a "Super Great Ideas" man, you really dropped the ball on this one. I'm not sure if you thought the balloon could make up for the lack of Timmy Time, and while it's pretty nifty, it doesn't really compare. The loss of the Timmy Time almost made me miss that the video is backwards for 90% of the time. At first I thought you had just redecorated and moved the awesome vampire poster, but then it became clear that you just had the video flipped. But still, this is not as upsetting to me as the loss of Timmy Time is. BRING BACK TIMMY TIME!
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Scrabble Championship |
So on Thursday night, we had our Scrabble tourney. Since we had more people than what 011ie originally bracketed for, we had 3 prelim games before the finale. I played a game with Timmy and DirtDiver. I lost miserably because I kept getting a ton of vowels and DirtDiver kept stealing all my spots. Tim ended up winning our game and made it into the championship, along with Chuck, Jain (the wildcard) and RedCt (who spanked 011ie's ass). RedCt ended up kicking everyone's ass in the championship game, and thus was declared the Scrabble Champion. This is despite the fact that Tim tried to play the word "Ruggie" on a triple word score space to close the gap on RedCt. Even though the word was denied, it did spawn his next Super Great Idea: The Ruggie.
The game was a lot of fun. 011ie and Tim had a webcam up for a little while before the game started. We got to see both Tim and 011ie dancing, and even got to hear 011ie sing in the background. I really think he needs to go out for karaoke at some point in time. We also found out who 011ie has his next date with. Her name is Max and she's a cyborg on RFF. She's really pretty. I'm trying not to be jealous.
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Countdown Ending |
After the Scrabble tourney, there was nothing really to do until the wewillalwayshave/paris.html countdown ended at 10pm on Saturday, June 6th. Promptly at 10pm, the site updated with a link to a YouTube video. It turns out, Lugnut has a sense of humor as he RickRoll'd us. Stupid ass bot. Luckily, there was a comment in the source code that this wasn't just a random RickRolling: I told you I'd be back. http://www.robotfriendfinder.com/werenostrangersto/love.html
Checking out werenostrangersto/love.html gives us a hint as to the next page that has a login: werenostrangersto/security. The user name is Astley and password is the number of times people spin in the RickRoll video. Oi. I gave up trying to count because a: I wasn't sure if I was counting spins or just people spinning, b: I wasn't sure what exactly counted as a spin and c: sometimes it was hard to count how many times they really spun around. Instead, I just started inputting numbers as the password, hoping that it wasn't spelled out and I'd have to go back and try again. Luckily, it turned out there are 22 spins in the RickRoll video. I actually have gone back through the video and counted, and I got 19, so I was going to have to start randomly guessing answers anyway, so I don't feel too badly about taking a shortcut there.
Username: Astley
Password: 22
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We're No Strangers to Security |
It seems that while he was still on the MBILF/RFF servers, Lugnut found a letter from Carol Coldoil to some unknown individual detailing some of his plans for RobotFriendFinder - and it doesn't sound good. Remember how in the intro video to RFF that Coldoil talks about having "over 0011001100110110 [36] characteristics" to match robots? It seems they want to use those 36 characteristics in order to make some process more efficient. Right now the site is only in beta, which is they haven't asked for all 36 characteristics, but they will be soon. He's going to send out an updated Terms of Service, hoping that no one will read it too closely. And if for some odd chance that they do, he'll just issue an "I'm Sorry" like Facebook did over the whole 'we now own your content' fiasco.
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Hello,
I have been developing the plan, using the enhanced techniques, which we
previously discussed. It is my personally belief that by maximizing the amount of
information from the unites we will be able to make the process far more efficient and
exacting. That is why I have chosen to use all 36 characteristics. You seemed worried
that "they" might be concerned about giving all their data to our mainframe, but so far we
haven't run into any issues (besides that single incident). Since we have been running in
beta, we should be able to ask them for the remaining data soon. I have listed half of the
36 characters below and will send you a final list soon.
Due to legal concerns (damn that Obama fellow), I will need to send out the
updated terms of service. I know your concerns, but assure you that the "they" will be
docile and follow along completely.
Unless they read closely, which:
A. They wont.
B. If they do, I am sure a small little "I'm Sorry" should work to quell any upset (It
worked for FaceBook).
For the most part, "they" are completely apathetic, and are unknowing lemmings.
The first18:
- Type
- Build
- Dimensions
- Power source
- Serial Number
- Processor Speed
- Memory capacity
- Serial Bus speed
- Inputs
- Outputs
- OS
- Strength
- Manufacturer
- Designer
- Compression system
- Water resistance
- Backwards compatibility
- Sleep settings
Thanks,
CC
Don't know who the letter is addressed to, but it doesn't sound like Coldoil started RFF out of the goodness of his heart to help find robots their true soulbots. It doesn't even sound like he likes robots that much if he's referring to them as "they" and calling them "apathetic" and "lemmings". We're going to have to keep an eye out for this updated terms of service.
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Gospel #4 |
Just as we were all winding down from finding the letter from Coldoil that Lugnut uploaded, then we found out that Pastor Ned uploaded a new gospel. Yay! Today we get to see Pastor Ned in his exercise gear as he makes sure that the DICS Church has enough power stored in their batteries.
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One of my first attempts at the back-teching was to create my own power that did not have any latent code that could cause robot reprogramming. So we want to make clean batteries, so I took this here 12 volt car battery and we got the AC converter connected to that. That's what stores all the energy from the pedals. So it's all a human powered system, very clean. To the generator. And all this is what we used to run here the ether-network.
All right. Well, welcome once again. This is, this is Pastor Ned Ludd of the Devotional Indiana Community Service Church in Valparaiso, Indiana. What I'm riding on right here is my back-teched. This is a Japanese. Called a TUNTURI. But the pressure, the calipers and all the mechanisms are perfect for turning it into a human powered generating machine. Which is what I've done here with my 12 volt battery and AC inverter. I'll cover this a little bit more detail. This goes up to the generator, and then basically we charge the battery up. And depending on how hard up I turn up the tension, and how much my knee hurts on any given day. God willing. We can create more power by. You know, and you get a good workout at the same time.
Now, this is the basement of the church. And what we do down here is basically a lot of crafts. We do some teaching, of the children. They get to, they like to draw a lot of pictures about "n'times". If a robot uprising were to happen, you know, how they would fight the valiant fight. I do teach a small self defense course down here with, you know, the older children. Just to give them a sense of feeling that they've got, if worst comes to worst and the robots do start "reconfigur'n" their house, how they can defend themselves and possibly gain themselves. Get themselves to a safe place. They'll have the skills to do that.
I just wanted to give you an idea here of how I get things going in the morning. All the power that is generated from this battery powers not only our "Ether-a-LAN" and also computer systems. The storm door appliance which protects our network from incoming data streams that would be considered vicious or abnormal. And all these things I have to think Johnny for. He's done a wonderful job, setting all this up and helping me with this. Although, mostly over the phone. In fact, I've never actually met him.
Important times are coming for us. For you. For my congregation. Important. The most important mission "in mankind". The most important mission, God told me, is coming. And everything is now falling into place. "U". Me. I'll need 36 of us. That's the number. Three dozen. So God said. I translated and I got 36. I need 36 disciples to help me. That are willing to sacrifice. Are willing to do anything. WIlling to put their lives on the line. Not for my church. Not for me. For the good of mankind. You listen to my sermons. You're gonna hear the truth. Are you scared? You should be.
Okay, this 36 stuff is beginning to freak me out. First we have Coldoil talking 36 robot characteristics, and now Pastor Ned is spouting off about 36 disciples. Are they connected somehow? Stranger things have happened. But what really scares me (Yes, Pastor Ned, I am scared) is that there was one other time that 36 was brought up - and that was in my date with 011iver. Tim rated my cookies as a 36 out of 36. (011iver rated the cider stickiness as 34 out of 36 but I'm guessing he was just using Tim's 'wacky' scale.) Why is Tim rating stuff out of 36? Is he connected to Coldoil or Pastor Ned? Is he going to sacrifice 011iver? Is he secretly working Coldoil and using 011ie as a guinea pig in whatever scheme Coldoil has set up? Or is he really one of Pastor Ned's disciples and is working to bring down robotkind by befriending one and thus infiltrating the robot community? Or was it just a quirk of Tim's and I'm just jumping at shadows. I hope it's just a quirk. I like Tim. He's really grown on me as the videos have progressed. I don't want Tim to betray 011ie. That would be so sad. 011ie doesn't deserve to be turned on like that by his best friend. Don't be evil, Timmy. Stay good. Please.
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Continue to Page 3 >>
See the Intro page for a list of all the websites, plus brief information about this guide and the game.
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