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Twelve Sided Dice
You may have noticed that in the middle of Pastor Ned's Gospel #5, Johnny/Lugnut stuck in a new puzzle for us.

First of all, the goes to a hidden file on GHR: touch.html, where we see the angry.jpg from the In the source code is some binary that gives us a hint as to how to solve the dodecahedrons. §

So it's off to print out the image to make some dice. I found it was easiest just to invert the colors, rotate it 90° and then print it at ~150% magnification in black & white. That way it's big enough to work with and you won't use up all your ink printing out the original black background. Once it's printed, make a mark so that you know which is the left and right die, cut the dice out, fold and tape each one together. You should now have two dice with faces containing 9 numbers and 3 stars. §

The solve gives you a new number: which is a redirect to another hidden file: tom.html. Johnny/Lugnut has provided us with an outtake from one of the Gospel recordings. Now we get to find out why Pastor Ned really hates robots. §

So, I was sort of right about why Ludd hates robots so much. It's not that Tom killed Mrs. Ludd, but that Pastor Ned believes he did through inaction. Which seems a little extreme, but then Pastor Ned isn't the most stable individual out there. By the way, is there anyone else who pictures Tom as looking like this? Makes me wonder if Crow worked at the factory as well.
Timmy Time Bathroom Edition
Tim has recorded another Super Great Ideas Timmy Time segment - this time from his bathroom as he is a very busy person. I have to warn you right now, it's kind of disturbing. And not just because he doesn't actually say the words "Timmy Time". There's nothing graphic, but certain things are very much implied. So if you've just eaten or have a weak stomach, you just might want to pass on this one. §

For a moment, Tim thought this was his best idea yet as he tweeted that he got a phone call from Apple wanting to sell the iPocket. Sadly for Timmy, it was just 011iver calling and messing with him. 011ie totally earned himself a drink in Portland for that. Hell, I might even buy him a burrito.
Further Instructions from Johnny
So remember when Johnny/Lugnut asked us to contact him so that he could give us further instructions? Well, he's finally gotten back to us about that. He sent a message via RFF telling us to be ready to go and pick something up within the next day or so. §

That was yesterday. Today I got a new message from Johnny telling me to go to FedEx Kinko's after 6:30pm. How exciting! I'm glad PostLarval got a message like that too and said something in chat, because otherwise I wouldn't have known until after I got home and I probably wouldn't have had time to go back out before the Scrabble tourney tonight. But now I'll be able to go right after work and see what Johnny wanted to tell us.

Well I was lucky. The people at my Kinko's are not complete and utter idiots and were able to find the package that Johnny Lug sent me. PostLarval and DirtDiver were not so lucky as they were told there was nothing for them when they went to get their pickups. My package was a print out of a shredded letter. Highwind was good enough to piece it back together while I was playing Wabble with the girls. The contents of the letter do not bode well for our robot friends. §

So now we have definite proof that Pastor Ned is paying Coldoil to help destroy robots. I am very sad that the Robot Speed Dating event is just a diversion suggested by Pastor Ned to keep us from discovering the evil plot. I was so excited about it! And now I know I'll be there thinking "This is all just a ploy" and not enjoying myself nearly as much. Maybe I'll just have to drink before the Speed Dating so I won't think about that.
Girls Scrabble
So Thursday night was the night of our big Girls Only Scrabble game where we hoped we could get Chuck to spill a bit about who she was interested in. At first she tried to deny she was interested in either Tim or 011ie, but as chat progressed, it became clear that it was 011ie that she had the crush on.

With that revelation out of the way, it was time to see what we could do to get Chuck and 011ie a little bit closer. We all came up with the plan of getting 011ie to let Chuck buy him a make-up chile relleno as an apology for the awkwardness on his date with Max. Gupfee was elected to call 011iver and, after a rough start, managed to convince him to let Chuck take him out for food on Sunday. Chuck was thrilled, although really nervous about the whole thing. We tried to convince her to just be herself and to not get too worked up over the whole thing. Hopefully it helped.

Gupfee ended up winning the Scrabble game. And despite the fact we said "what happens in girl scrabble stays in girl scrabble" doesn't mean that the people who weren't able to attend shouldn't see the chatlog (even if they are boys). Just please don't get us into trouble by telling Chuck we showed you, okay?
Instruction Packet
Johnny/Lugnut heard about the troubles everyone was having picking up their packages, so he contacted Kinko's to get everything straightened out. § Once that was done, everyone else seemed to have no problem picking up their packages at Kinko's.

It turns out that Johnny/Lugnut found six documents that Pastor Ned was trying to send out to his 36 disciples. Instead, Johnny sent them to us, although it will just be a matter of time before Ludd resends them to the 36. What's odd is that Johnny talks about 6 pages, but we only know of 5 people receiving packages. Either he didn't send the sixth page, or there is someone out there who's not sharing with the group. §

The six documents are an instruction manual for the day of Robot Reprogramming. It gives the members of the 36 an overview of their mission, the date when they have to complete their tasks by (July 13th), where to find the substations, and the password to the input device at the substations (5338). The missing sixth page will tell the 36 where to find the input device at each substation. §

So Pastor Ned's plan is supposed to go off on July 13th? That is way before the Robot Speed Dating on the 17th. How am I supposed to meet the robot of my dreams if they are all reprogrammed before then?! We seriously need to stop Pastor Ned from carrying out his mission. It's a good thing there are so many double agents in the ranks of the 36. :)
Max Says Goodbye
Ever since the burrito date, we were wondering if Max and 011ie would go on a third date - this time without Chuck and Glen. Unfortunately for 011ie, Max wasn't returning any of his calls. It turns out Max was having phone issues and missed all of 011ie's calls. So instead, she made a video explaining her reasons for breaking up with 011ie. It's sad for 011ie, but at the same time probably a good thing. Max wouldn't have been happy with him, and Chuck really would have been hurt if Max and 011ie kept dating. §
Luddcast #3
Another new podcast from on the road with Pastor Ned! The description says that the podcast why it is abomination to lie with robotkind, but to me it seems more like Pastor Ned bitching about his brother-in-law. This podcast did however enlighten me to the fact that Jesus and Satan were conjoined twins - and that is why you cannot call Satan stupid. Because that would make Jesus stupid. And that's just silly. §

Pastor Ned has uploaded a new video from member Rockfish/Lysithea protesting at the Electronics Grid Systems. Poor Rockfish - blind as a bat in her 36 outfit. We still haven't gotten any more profiles of the 36 given to us, although there have been more and more people reporting in that they have been accepted into the ranks of the 36. So, if you still want to join up with Pastor Ned, do it soon. Not only is time running out, but so are spaces.
Bad Vibrations
So Sunday was the day when Chuck and 011ie were supposed to go out and have chile rellenos. Except that 011ie somehow forgot and scheduled a date with Cassie, a being of pure energy, instead. Because Tim was too sick to film, Chuck went along to film the date. Luckily for her, 011ie and Cassie did not hit it off at all. §

Because Tim was left behind to sleep of his Nyquil haze, no one filmed Chuck and 011ie at the chile relleno "date" so we don't really know what happened. Chuck just tells us that she and 011ie talked and that it was "nice" so it must have went pretty well.
Pastor Ned on Twitter
Due to DirtDiver having some serious issues at work, it took a few days for him to provide us with a picture of his printout to see if we could figure out if we were missing anything. As it turns out, we were missing two key bits that would allow us to solve the puzzle. § So Pastor Ned has been twittering at He only has three tweets so far, but they seem to be giving us clues as to where the substations are. Now we just have to figure out what he means.
Like oceans of water, like skies full of air. These ubiquitous stations are everywhere.
Austria's hills were filled with sound, the year our stations first broke ground.
For many years, running tabs made things gratis, but now the sub-stations hide our apparatus
The second clue is the most promising one we have. It's obviously referring to the Sound of Music in some capacity. There are a few years it could be hinting at:
  • 1939 - The year the events are set in
  • 1956 - The year the movie The Trapp Family debuted
  • 1959 - The year the play debuted
  • 1965 - The year the movie debuted
With the other hints, it's possible that Pastor Ned is talking about radio or television stations. They are everywhere and have been free to listen/watch since their introduction. Although both radio and television were established in the United States before 1939, Austria didn't introduce television until 1956. But this is pretty much just a guess until we either get some more hints from Pastor Ned or we find the missing sixth page.
Gospel #6
Pastor Ned is getting quite anxious that all of the 36 haven't checked in yet with their bios and photos. He's also been od'ing on marzipan if his emails are any indiction. But in Gospel #6 he shows us what his outfit looks like. He also demonstrates some 'Taekwondo' moves that he uses to take out the robots. If those are his best moves, I'm pretty sure 011ie could take him out like he took out Tim with his dance move. §
Must Love Humans
Chuck, and the rest of us, have quietly been trying to sell 011iver on the benefits of humans so that he can see that maybe he's being stupid for not wanting to date a human. Chuck even posted a blog entry highlighting the good points of humans (and ones she just so happens to possess herself). So, if you have any ideas as to why robots (011iver) should date humans (Chuck) - make sure you leave a comment. Maybe 011iver will even read them.
July 4th
Since robots also celebrate Independence Day, Tim and 011ie took off to the wilds of Connecticut to do some camping. Yeah, not how I thought they would end up spending the weekend. The good news is, neither one of them was eaten by a bear. The bad news is, it seems that on Friday, 011ie received the sixth page that Johnny/Lugnut had sent out. But he left to go camping before he posted it. So now we have to wait - both for the sixth page and for Tim's video of their camping trip. It's like they don't even care that the wait drives us bonkers. Bastiages.
Robot vs Wild
So the video of 011ie and Tim in the woods is about as you expect. It starts off with Tim crying and ends with 011iver wanting to vomit. In the middle there's some footage of wildlife and Tim and 011ie trying to find food. Remind me never to invite either one of them along on a camping trip unless the camping involves making a furniture fort in a hotel room or something similar. §

I don't think 011iver is really happy to be roughing it in Connecticut. It's probably a good thing they only spent the weekend there, because any longer and Tim's body might really have been buried in the woods. Or drowned in the lake. Or stabbed with a spear and eaten.

When Tim put the video up on MLR, he also said that he wasn't going to be around this next weekend. That he had "some super important business to attend to in another state, so expect another video from Chuck and 011iver." Anyone else think it's a bit suspicious that Tim is going out of town the exact weekend that Pastor Ned and the 36 are supposed to carry out their mission? And you could even say that EvilTim showed up in the video in a couple of places. The first when he's telling 011ie "Guess who I am? 'I'm gonna come kill you!'" Is he channeling Pastor Ned or himself there? And his mixed martial art skills of Taekwondo and kung fu look a lot like what Pastor Ned teaches - basically just flailing your arms about. Sadly, still nothing concrete that we can warn 011ie about, but it's still something to think about.
More Substation Clues
We also got two new twitter clues from Pastor Ned and the scan of the sixth page from 011iver today.
the substations true face in growing clear, one of its founders is named for a deer.
our central hub is in 203, but the substations themselves are all over, you see
The deer clue seems rather unhelpful in order to actually find what we're looking for. But it should be a good confirmation clue if we can figure out the rest of the clues. The 203 clue might be an area code - it's based in southwestern Connecticut. Or maybe it refers to just the prefix of a telephone number. So you could have [Your Area Code] 203-[5338]. I dunno. I think we need more clues. Or figure out the meaning of the sixth page.
The Sixth Page
011iver finally managed to get a scan of the sixth page to us. It's an odd graphic with Pastor Ned's trademarked misspelled instructions. § The folding seems to be a pretty obvious clue. Although there are actual fold marks on the paper, it seems that those were put there by 011iver, if Tim is to be believed that is. Dante folded the paper so that the dark areas with the numbers lined up. If you do that, it looks like a soda dispenser - notice the spouts underneath the numbers and the cup below the 1. So Pastor Ned's input device is a soda fountain? I have to admit, I did not see that one coming.
Substation Locations
Based on the Twitter clues and the soda fountain input device, dante started Googling for fast food restaurants based in Connecticut. And what do you know - he found one: Subway. It was founded by Peter Buck in 1965 and are headquartered in Milford, CT. And not too long after that revelation was posted in Unfiction, we got a final Tweet from Pastor Ned that completely confirmed our guess.
my final riddle is more opaque, for our stations, commercials Jared Fogle did make.
So I guess that means we have to go to Subway this weekend, order a drink and mix the 5th, 3rd, 3rd, and 8th beverages on the soda fountain to complete his plan. But what if we want to stop it?

I sent an email to Johnny/Lugnut on RFF with all of our findings, so hopefully he'll know what we should do if we want to stop Pastor Ned. I also tried signing up as one of the 36 but haven't heard back from Pastor Ned yet. Which is sad since he did update the Profiles page with several new 36 members. The Beaver is completely awesome. Sadly, there are only 7 total members pictured, so there's room for at least 29 other people to be a part of Pastor Ned's flock. It makes me sad that more people aren't willing to snap/photoshop a picture of themselves looking silly. There are even 18 people signed up for Robot Speed Dating (and 125 total members at RFF). Surely some of them could 'help out' Pastor Ned, couldn't they?
Final Instructions
Pastor Ned got tired of waiting for Johnny/Lugnut to send out the instructions, so he somehow managed to do it on his own. Luckily we had gotten the pages from Johnny because the PDF that Pastor Ned sent wasn't nearly as clear as it could have been. We would have had serious issues trying to figure out the first page puzzle since it's barely readable. His email is a bit ranty, but it does give us the final bit of instructions that we needed if we want to save robotkind instead of destroying it. § So, if we want to destroy robotkind, we have to enter 5338 on the soda fountain. If we want to save robotkind, we enter the code backwards, so 8335. Either way, you will need to provide evidence of your entering the code. Video would probably be best, but I'm sure Pastor Ned would accept multiple photos of your mixing some odd drink at Subway. By the way, I'm not entirely sure what to do if the soda fountain doesn't have 8 different kinds of soda. I'm guessing you could just start renumbering from the beginning. If your intentions are there, it's probably okay. I don't see that there's an exact science to this since who would think that soda fountains would be the key to destroying all robots around the world.
The War Is On
Johnny wrote back to me and explained the history of the substations being located in Subways. Apparently there used to be 36 titans of industry who were afraid of a robot uprising and started placing substations all throughout the country so that if they ever needed to, they could enter the code no matter where they are. How Pastor Ned found out about this, Johnny/Lugnut doesn't say. But he does tell us that if we want to save robotkind, we need to enter the backwards code into 36 different Subways by the 12th, and to provide photographic evidence of us doing so. He's working on a site to keep track of who enters the backward code. So the war is on. Who will prevail? GHR or MLR? §
Viva La Robot Revolution!
Johnny has sent out a final bit of instructions to his five friends. He informs us that all of the substations are linked, and that if Pastor Ned's code is input into 36 different substations, it will release an EMP that will destroy every robot on the planet. But if we input the code backwards, the pulse will destroy the grid connecting the substations, freeing the robots from the threat of mass destruction. §

Johnny has set up a new website, to keep track of how many people have input the code to save the robots, or the code that destroys them. I sent my first video into Johnny's new email address: and hopefully I can hit a couple more Subway's tomorrow to get video. I don't want 011iver or any of the rest of the robots to die. We must save them!
And the Winner Is...
...the Robots! Sorta. Team Viva La Robot managed to get more codes entered than the 36 did, so for now the robots are safe. Sadly, Viva La Robot did not manage to get the backwards code entered in 36 different Subways (I think we got 10 to Pastor Ned's 7) § so the threat still exists - especially since Carol Coldoil has fled. Johnny/Lugnut and RAM have taken over MBILF and RobotFriendFinder so we can still submit our roboporn pictures and try to find the robot of our dreams. And I guess this means that Robot Speed Dating is still on. Woo!

And in even happier news, Tim doesn't seem to be evil. Hooray! He posted video evidence showing how he entered the 8335 code. I do have to say his tweets before he left town were making me believe more and more that he was evil, but now I'm glad that 011ie never found out our/my theory. 011ie probably wouldn't have believed it anyway. He certainly didn't believe about the 36 destruction code. At least Chuck believed and made 011ie go with her to enter the code.
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