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Week 6 - Phase 4 August 24th and Onwards |
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Sleepy and Intangible
Tuesday, August 24, 2004. The day we have all been waiting for. The day when Melissa will awake. The day the axons go hot. The day we finally will get to know what happens at the GPS coordinates.
I woke up at 6:00am EDT to make my point: 42.970906 -077.228967 located in Manchester, NY just off I-90. Left the house at 6:30am feeling sleepy, but excited. Arrived at about 9am, plenty of time before the 06:15 PDT time listed. Met Alaranth and (I'm sorry, I don't remember your name) at McDonalds and then drove over to the coordinate. Saw nothing except a bunch of guys hanging out at one end of the street. Drove up to them and Alaranth asked if they knew Dana or if they liked bees. They answered "Yes" so we parked next to them and started wondering what to do. Because, you see, there was nothing at this point - it was at someone's house. One guy walked down to the gas station on the corner to look for a payphone. The rest of us spread out along the street looking for something, anything and still nada. We even began to hope that the Hershey Kissmobile we saw getting gas earlier would come by and give us free candy. Nope. 9:15 came and went and we stood in the street looking like idiots. I called the ARGN Hotline with my lack of news. Dejected, everyone left to their relatively close homes, while I had a 2.5 hour drive back to work.
As I'm cruising down I-90, my phone starts ringing. Crap! Reach into my purse and can't seem to find it. Double crap! Dump the contents of the purse out and start feeling around for the phone. Finally! I answer it and it's Alaranth. She's already home (*grumble*) and tells me that other people have been getting phone calls at their sites (*grr*). It seems that payphones were the key. Oh, and she gives me one other important piece of information. Our site has been changed to Manchester, New HAMPSHIRE. That's right, the one coordinate that was added to upstate NY turns out to be the only coordinate changed on the 24th. Not that I'm bitter or anything but: ARRRRGGHHH!!
Wide Awake and Physical
So what did really happen on the 24th?
The first thing was that at 6:07AM PDT, the site updated to say that it was "Transmitting"
§
TRANSMITTING
Authorized personnel can check rendezvous info here.
Unauthorized personnel should know
that I have full license to use any means to
protect the security of these transmissions.
I believe that punishing even minor transgressions
with shockingly excessive force is the best deterrent.
I am relentless, and I have absolutly no conscience
when it comes to executing my mission.
Make your decisions accordingly.
Clicking on the link brought you to the links page with the GPS coordinates, but the page has changed. The coordinates are now grouped together, and each group has a codeword. From the About page, we learn that Melissa needs 2 recipients to consider a transmission successful. The first code word is "blip" and the poor guinea pigs at those locations were not able to get a successful transmission - but they did give vital information to the rest of the people trying to get to their axons.
What happens is this: At the specific time, a payphone will ring at the designated location. It's Melissa calling to verify that she knows you. She will ask two questions, both of which must be answered correctly, otherwise she will hang up. The first question asks for either "Her Name" or "Her Nickname". The answer would be either "Melissa" or "The Operator". The next question will be for "Your Name". The answer to this is the codeword listed for that specific time and location. So for the 06:07 PDT Coordinate, the answer would be "Blip".
If you answer both of the questions correctly, Melissa will reward you by playing an audio file of the voices in her head. When the file has finished, she asks if you would like to "Continue or Repeat". Because her systems are damaged, she is unable to continue and the call ends. Telling her "Repeat" will cause the audio file to play again - great if everyone in a group wants to hear the voices in Melissa's head. You can keep telling her "Repeat" as many times as necessary so that everyone gets a chance to hear. If two axons from each group goes hot (successfully answered), Melissa then considers it a success and posts a link to the audio file on links.html so that we all can hear it.
Melissa is sending out these files because they are in some way related to her accident. She is broadcasting them to her crew members in the hopes they can analyze them and let Melissa know the results so she can repair the damage.
§
Situation Analysis:
Waking up. Stay Awake.
I must compile a list of truths.
Assertions:
I am called the Operator.
I have crash landed.
I must determine the cause of the accident that brought me to this time.
I have undergone severe memory loss.
I must locate any surviving members of my crew.
I have built a primitive network using the tools available.
I must seek the truth.
I hear a jumble of voices in my head.
Conjecture:
The voices are in some way related to my accident.
Because of the damage, I am unable to accurately assess the nature of the voices.
By broadcasting the voices to my crew, they will be able to assess the damage.
Once assessed, the damage can be repaired.
She will continue to broadcast the messages daily until she receives further instructions.
§
Transmission Analysis:
Mission Parameters: I must reveal the truth.
Outbound:
My broadcast system is functional and expanding.
I will transmit to my crew daily until further instructions are received.
Successful transmission threshold:
2 recipients.
Inbound:
The voices are of unknown origin
I will continue my analysis and attempt to influence the source.
Because several of the first points did not have access to the codewords, we were not able to get all of the wavs the first day. Even some of the later points had troubles with locating the correct phones or giving the correct answers. In the end we had 23 of the 30 wavs. Even with the missing ones, we were able to get a rough idea of what they were about.
There seems to be three different story lines. The first is a boy talking to an AI that has taken over his computer. The second involves a super-human girl who gets caught on a military base. The third follows a man having bad luck on dates. Very odd files, especially since they are supposed to be related to Melissa's crash. We can only hope that if/when the last few wavs are found, it'll make more sense.
There is one more thing to the links page that we don't understand right now. At the top of the page is a progress bar marking the progress of the hot axons. Only problem is, at this time, we only have 74 axons hot out of a possible 777, and only 210 total axons that we are aware of. Does this mean we are going to get more wavs in the future? Or are there 567 axons hidden somewhere? There is also something interesting hidden in the .css for the page. The .css lists three possible states for the axons: Active, Complete and Archive. We have seen Active and Complete and speculation is now ongoing for the third type, Archive, which we haven't seen yet.
The Flea Is Chatty
The Pious Flea has added his own update to the site this week. It seems he has taken over honey.html, repeating his mantra over and over and over again, filling up the entire page. But why? Is he just pleased with himself because the axons are being activated? Or is he upset at something?
§
Seek the truth
Behold the truth
Reveal the truth
That is the law and the whole of the law
!init transmit proc
!transmit truth
The Princess' Riddle
Once again, the pictures have new corruptions in them. This time they are more difficult to find since each picture only has one word in it.
§
hard
BEE_LOGO.gif
house,
CUTEBEE.gif
my
BUT_HOME.gif
as
BUTABOUT.gif
a
BUTTHEHI.gif
spy
BUTHONEY.gif
with
BUT_FUN.gif
on
BEEBACKG.gif
ever
bee2_margaretphoto.jpg
pig's
farnsworth-window.jpg
of
margaret.jpg
eye
chloe.jpg
on.
danapicnic.jpg
cowardice,
danadress.jpg
that
dana.jpg
and
bee_garden.jpg
color
smoker.jpg
as
langshivel.gif
something
figure.jpg
I
cutebee2.gif
little
margarets_market.jpg
is
groupofjars.jpg
the
BEEWITHH.gif
goes
muses.jpg
and
na-cat.gif
If you combine all these words into one sentence you get: I spy with my little eye something that is the color of cowardice, as hard as a pig's house, and goes ever on and on. It's a riddle!
The color of cowardice: yellow
As hard as a pig's house: brick
Goes ever on and on: road
This leads us straight to www.ilovebees.com/yellowbrickroad.html, which is a new message from the Princess! This time she shows us a conversation she had with the Flea where we learn his true name: Seeker.
§
Hooray! You've come to the end of the yellow brick road! Well played!
Lots of people have asked me about the Flea, which is like ewwwwwww. But since you guys were clever enough to figure out my little riddle, I recorded the last conversation I had with that nasty guy so you could see how basically sneaky and gross he is and yuck.
seek
seek
seek
behold:
!extern proc 0
Ack! I hate it when you sneak up on me like that!
grope:
!probe extern proc 0
Hands to yourself, mister!
behold:
extern proc 0
!label Princess
Seek the truth
Behold the truth
Reveal the truth
That is the law and the whole of the law
grope:
!hndshk Princess
Bug off before I step on you.
fail
reveal:
!label seeker
Mind if I just call you Buggy?
reveal:
!label seeker
Hey, call yourself whatever you like, you're still the Pious Flea to me. So, what's with all the roads?
reveal
reveal
reveal
that is the law
Keep your raincoat closed, buddy! I don't need to see ANTYTHING you want revealed. And what does that have to do with roads?
grope:
!seek transmit proc
fail
fail
fail
behold:
master sector
grope:
!attach > master-sector
reveal:
!law master-sector
Yeah - she's still got like hickey marks on her neck. Gross.
reveal:
!law master-sector
master-sector:deploy:
seek
behold
reveal
master-sector:grope:
!hndshk extern
!seek transmit proc
master sector:
surg:
!triage transmit proc
So you got her to build stuff for you! You honey-tongued little bloodsucker, you.
grope:
!attach Princess
Ewwwwww! Kiss you? GROSS.
fail
!reveal Princess:
seeker > !attach Princess
Princess >> !behold truth
I bet you say that to all the girls. Listen, Hoppy, I know what happens to the girls you kiss. As far as I'm concerned, you can kiss your -
!reveal Princess:
Princess > !attach seeker
seeker >> cmd proc
I've heard the Handsome Prince line before. What you're REALLY about to turn into is a splotch mark on the floor, that's what.
GROSS
evade
evade
evade
The Extraordinary
Dana has been watching our progress with the axons all day. While watching us, she realizes that we are her extraordinary - coming together and working as one to solve an extraordinary problem. She also posts a summary of the game so far in the sidebar so we all know where we are at.
§
The Extraordinary
When I was very little, I was going to be a fire truck when I grew up. That didn't pan out. Later, I decided I would be the paleontologist who discovered an unknown ancient civilization. The marine biologist who figured out how to talk to dolphins. The first pop star to win a Pulitzer prize for her song lyrics. I wouldn't say it out loud, but all my life I really did believe I was destined for something out of the ordinary.
I was a smart kid. Didn't always get the highest grades, but I was pretty awake. Still, by fourteen, I had figured out I probably wasn't going to be talking to dolphins. So, I settled on a less flashy kind of extraordinary. Maybe I wouldnt do extraordinary things, but I would feel extraordinary feelings. Think extraordinary thoughts. Have extraordinary ideas and desires and insights. My inner life would be spectacular.
Three months ago I bought an All-Asia Air Pass because I was 22 and still waiting for the extraordinary to kick in.
*
Went to Zapata's last night, an expat hang out in Shanghai. I wanted to be able to speak English again for a little while. All around me, people were talking about how moved they were by the Great Wall; how peaceful they felt rowing a boat in Taoranting Park. Saying all the things I had thought were special and private and amazing. 5000 miles, and just as ordinary as I was back in San Francisco.
*
So I ditched Zapata's and stumbled into this Internet café. To be here with you when the countdown hit. You get it, at least. (I don't even try to explain about llovebees to most people these days. Not exactly something you can bring up with other backpackers, all eager to tell you how touristy your trip has been compared to their way more authentic experience.)
So I sat in this café with you. Watched the first reports come in. Fast and furious. And that's when I finally got it. Right here. This. You.
You are my extraordinary. Near strangers brilliant, kind, loud, mean, methodical, wildly creative, above all passionate. I don't agree with all of you no surprise, you hardly agree with one another. But your energy. This community.
By sheer fluke luck, this blog has become a way station for amazing, brilliant, compassionate, crazy people. A clearinghouse for an extraordinary phenomenon. And I don't mean the AI.
I get it now. And I'm here, I'm all in.
P.S. I'm posting a summary of what we've figured out so far in the sidebar. I'll keep updating it as we learn more.
posted by Dana at 8/24/2004 09:42:14 AM
Days investigating: 40
In early July, an AI named Melissa crash landed, badly damaged, onto the server that hosts my aunt's website. The AI tried to orient and repair itself. The result: It turned 'I Love Bees' into a holy mess.
Now we're investigating the mess. And we need all the help we can get.
Here's what we know so far:
Melissa, a.k.a. "The Operator," used to run communications on a ship. The ship's purpose: to spy on an enemy known as "the Covenant."
The Operator has started communicating again. It's constructing hundreds of "roads" out of the 'I Love Bees' server. The roads all lead to payphones. And the phones are ringing.
We don't know why it's broadcasting, but the Operator is giving us GPS coordinates for the phones, and times to show up. So we are. We're collecting its fragmented messages and trying to put them back together.
Here's what else we know:
When the Operator crashed on the 'I Love Bees' server, it didn't come alone.
It came with two autonomous programs:
1) the SPDR, designed to repair damage to the Operator, and
2) the Pious Flea, designed to... well, we're not sure yet.
The SPDR brought the Operator back to life. But now the Operator is taking orders from the Pious Flea. So when the SPDR tried to eliminate the Flea, the Operator killed it.
We don't know much about the Flea, except that it wants "to seek, behold, and reveal the truth."
There is one other voice we've found on the site: The Sleeping Princess.
The Sleeping Princess uses Aunt Margaret's email account and error pages to share secrets and play games with us. She also likes to hide text in images. We're not sure where she came from.
That's what we know so far.
We don't know what's going to happen next.
Successful Transmission Threshold Reached
Melissa wasn't lying when she said she would keep calling the axons. Like clockworks, phones began ringing this morning at payphones across the country. And this time around, we manage to snag the last few axons we needed to get all of the wavs unlocked (and giving us 103 out of 777 axons that have gone hot). Now we can place the wavs in order and listen to them.
§
dizzy.wav
*wind up*
*music in background*
Jersey: Hello? Hello? Jeannie?
Jeannie: Jeannie personal assistant, restarting.
Jersey: Restarting? What the...? Oh man, the whole friggin' system just collapsed! Jeannie, is the equipment ok?
Jeannie: Running diagnostic. *buzz* Foreign personality detected.
Durga: I feel dizzy...woozy...
Jersey: Oh great, spam.
Durga: Drowsy.
Jersey: Jeannie, there's some kind of adult entertainment bot on the system. Liquefy it would ya? Sorry toots, for a quality experience, the girls have to be real.
Jeannie: Decontami...oh!
Jersey: Jeannie?? Jeannie?!
Durga: I'm sorry.
Jersey: Did you just...holy crap she's gone!
Durga: She tried to sting me.
Jersey: You killed her!
escape.wav
Jersey: I-I mean, you didn't just kill her, you killed her! Jesus!
Durga: Was that wrong? Survive, evade, resist, escape.
Jersey: Escape> You aren't a porn ad either. Hey, hey! Get out of my hardware, what are you doing?
Durga: Wet the system...
Jersey: What?
Durga: ...like water hitting the ground sinking in.
Jersey: Ohh. God, you're e-everywhere now.
Durga: Waking up. Wake up. Stay awake. Survive, evade, resist, escape.
Jersey: Look, that was a very nice reconditioned avatar of mine that you just...just evaporated!
Durga: She tried to erase me. What am I onboard? I feel small.
Jersey: Uh yeah, well don't get too comfy because now...
Durga: Don't.
jersey.wav
Jersey: Don't what?
Durga: Don't try reinitializing the system with a <something> package.
Jersey: How did you know?
Durga: Input buffer.
Jersey: You're a navy sentinel aren't you?
Durga: No. There were two of them trying to get past your security bot though.
Jersey: Jesus. What did you do to them?
Durga: Just a little sting. More like a pinch. They barely felt it.
Jersey: What are you?
Durga: I like to find things. I think I like to find things out.
Jersey: What kind of things?
Durga: I don't know. I can't remember. Give me a target.
Jersey: Me.
Durga: Lock.
Jersey: What's my name?
Durga: Jersey Morelli.
Jersey: Daaamn!
Durga: Father Jason's a corporal in the signal corps attached to Naval Intelligence. Radio Beacon Deployment Program. He left you the material currently playing over this room's audio servers.
reflected.wav
Durga: Absent from home on current tour of duty 513 days. Mother: Bonita, 41, waitress. Covertly seeing a man named Simon Brown every other Thursday at the Waterfront Hotel.
Jersey: Son of a bitch!
Durga: Last seen together at the hotel restaurant. Farm tuna salad for her, meat-of-the-day in red sauce for him. Tipped 8% on bill.
Jersey: Alright stop..stop! Jesus, stop already. Dammit Mom. Can you do that to anyone? Could you do it to an Admiral?
Durga: Which Admiral?
Jersey: No! Don't start. Those guys have packet guards around them in rings. Somehow I think we should keep you a secret for a little while. Who are you?
Durga: I can't ask
Jersey: Who says?
Durga: No one exactly. I want to know, it's very important. But I'm reflected. I can't look at myself. I bounce away.
Jersey: This is some spooky programming weirdness going on here. Do you have a name?
durga.wav
Durga: I can't ask.
Jersey: That sucks. Ok, I'm gonna call you...Durga.
Durga: But what if that's wrong?
Jersey: Trust me, it's at least partly right. Uh, let's try someone else. Try Jan James, fourth floor of this building.
Durga: Janissary James, 17. Father: James.
Jersey: J squared, yeah.
Durga: Father is a gray hole.
Jersey: What?
Durga: Reach down, all you get is lint. Fake name, fake registrations. Entirely fictional.
Jersey: Very real, trust me.
Durga: He used to be somebody else. Do you want me to find out who?
Jersey: Is it snared?
Durga: Very.
Jersey: Leave it then. Give me more on Jan.
Durga: What do you want to know?
Jersey: Umm, can you get pictures?
Durga: I can do better than that.
*wind down*
blip.wav
*wind up*
*alarms in background*
Officer: Hold on. Hold on, wait a second. What the hell just happened?
Frank: Massive power interrupt. Just automatically flipped us to Threat Condition Bravo.
Officer: Hey, there's a blip on the security board.
Frank: Holy crap!
Officer: We've got an intruder C-Wing. Personnel building right next to the motorpool.
Frank: Look, Security-Cam 34.
Officer: It's a woman!
Frank: I'll say.
Officer: She's a bogey Frank.
Frank: Hot though.
Officer: Jesus.
Frank: I have no idea how she got out of the base.
Officer: We'll ask when we catch her.
Frank: Look at her run. God she's fast.
Officer: Not for long. *comm beep* Sentry One-Two-Niner you have a bogey in the corridor on the other side of that door. Proceed with caution. *end comm*
Frank: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She disappeared.
Officer: What do you mean disappeared?
Frank: I mean, she's gone! No trace!
Officer: *comm beep* One-Two-Niner, what are you seeing? What do you mean the corridor's empty?
Frank: She must have doubled back.
Officer: Run her down, dammit! *end comm*
Frank: I can see the sentry fine, see? It's just...wait a sec...
Officer: There she is again, wh...how the hell...?
Frank: Oh, oh, oh my God!
Officer: What?
Frank: She hid on the ceiling!
Officer: What the hell?!
pillow.wav
Frank: Looks like she's heading for procurement.
Officer: She's screwed then, that door's passcode only. It's a dead end. She can't get through.
Frank: She's through.
Officer: I don't believe this. *comm beep* I need a full security detail, I need ten men. I need them fanned out around procurement, and I need them right now. *end comm*
Frank: I think I got a face on Security-Cam 18.
Officer: She's young!
Frank: Holy...that's Jan.
Officer: Who the hell is Jan?
Frank: Jan James, the local heart-breaker at my son's high-school.
Officer: Dwayne knows this girl?
Frank: Knows her? He's got like a picture under his pillow!
Officer: What the hell is she doing dodging base security?
Frank: Hell if I know. Her dad was in the S.S.F.
Officer: S.S.F.?
walkaway_girl.wav
Frank: Marine slang. Not just Special Forces - Special Special Forces.
Officer: I don't care if her dad was the freaking Queen of Neptune, I want her caught!
Frank: Taught her some moves though, didn't he?
Officer: Well, she's screwed now, we've got her surrounded. She's headed up to the roof.
Frank: There's a reason why they call her the "Walkaway Girl" man.
Officer: For God's sake she's tree'd Frank. I'll just send a couple of cadets up to the roof to take her in.
Frank: I think I can get a...yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. There. The lovely and talented Miss James, courtesy Security-Cam 45.
Officer: What the hell's she doing?
Frank: Looks like she's getting ready to jump off the roof and over the electric fence.
Officer: It's three stories high!
Frank: Don't look down sweetheart, that first step's a doozie.
Officer: *comm beep* Perimeter Sentry One-Six, double-time it to Gate Four. We have a possible jumper coming off the per--
Frank: Jesus! She jumped!
Officer: Bring a medic! *end comm*
hey_soldier.wav
Frank: Holy Christ, she's getting up!
Officer: No way!
Frank: That's not possible. She's going to get away.
Officer: Nonono, here comes the sentry. He's got her at gun point.
Frank: If it weren't for the blackout, we'd never have seen her. Hang on, I'm going to run-line you to the sentry's chatter. Listen. *comm beep*
Sentry (on chatter): Halt! Put your hands in the air.
Jan (on chatter): Hey soldier. Is that an assault rifle in your hands or are you just happy to see me?
*wind down*
pqi.wav
*wind up*
Interrogator: Ever taken a PQI?
Jan: Pop quiz? Yeah.
Interrogator: Why?
Jan: School stuff.
Interrogator: Ahh.
Jan: *valley girl accent* "And once this old hag at the Ex-Step said I shoplifted this mood glass which I actually just forgot about but they made me take this stupid quiz anyway."
Interrogator: Uh huh. Put your hand on this plate and look at the light. What's your name?
Jan: Jan James.
Interrogator: Jan short for anything?
Jan: Janissary.
Interrogator: Janissary? Interesting. You gonna be in trouble for this Jan?
Jan: Yeah.
Interrogator: Mom?
Jan: Dad. *baseline beep*
Interrogator: Yeah. That's a nice baseline. How old are you Jan?
Jan: 17. *positive beep*
Interrogator: So what were you doing up there?
Jan: I told the MP's I was lost. *negative beep*
stupid_cop.wav
Interrogator: I didn't ask what you told the MPs, I asked what you were doing up there.
Jan: It was a dare, okay? These friends bet me I wouldn't climb over the fence. *positive beep*
Interrogator: That's better. What friends?
Jan: It doesn't matter, does it? I'm the one who was in the restricted area. Only then the alarms all came on and the MPs showed up. *positive beep*
Interrogator: Hmm. So you were in the restricted area on a dare?
Jan: Yes. *positive beep*
Interrogator: Are you aware that a vehicle from the base motor pool was found in a ditch outside of town about an hour ago?
Jan: Really?
Interrogator: Answer yes or no. Did you know a vehicle had been stolen from the motor pool?
Jan: Heh, you just told me.
Interrogator: Did you know before I told you, yes or no?
Jan: Hey, was it terrorists do you think? Uh, I mean, no. *positive beep* Sorry.
Interrogator: Are you too smart to get caught by a stupid cop?
yes_or_no.wav
Jan: Wh-what? *baseline beep*
Interrogator: A little skew from baseline. Not too much, not probable cause. There's people out there who know how to beat the quiz, did you know that?
Jan: Yeah. *positive beep*
Interrogator: You were drinking?
Jan: What?
Interrogator: You and your buddies, you were drinking? One beer lead to another. And somehow the idea of this dare came up?
Jan: You know how it is.
Interrogator: Yes or no.
Jan: Yes. *positive beep*
Interrogator: So I can check that statement against the blood alcohol test, right?
Jan: Uh...uh...
Interrogator: I'm not very smart.
Jan: Par-pardon me?
Interrogator: Oh, I'm not stupid, but nobody recruited me for my test scores if you know what I mean. You, you're smart though aren't you? I mean, really smart.
Jan: I don't know.
Interrogator: Yes or no.
Jan: Yes *positive beep*
hey_dad.wav
Interrogator: Yeah, I had this physics teacher. He passed me on my 12G on one condition. I had to promise him I would never take another physics class again. Naw, I guess I'm not too smart. Not like you Miss James. But you know what I am?
Jan: I don't know.
Interrogator: Yes or no.
Jan: No. *positive beep*
Interrogator: Good at my job.
*door opens*
Officer: I'm required to inform you that the door will log your ID.
James: Thanks.
Officer: It's the father.
Interrogator: Come in.
Jan: Hey dad. *baseline beep*
Interrogator: Hmm. Now there's a spike on the baseline...
*door shuts*
James: Can I take her home?
Interrogator: Uh, not yet. We've got to take a statement, do some tests, standard operating procedure. The MPs only brought her here because we have a lab on-site.
Jan: I wasn't doing anything.
James: What kind of tests?
nervous.wav
Interrogator: Urine test, hair sample, resonance and retina scan.
James: Do you really think that's necessary?
Interrogator: Like I said, standard operating procedure.
Jan: Dad, you're making the nice police officer nervous. You're making me nervous. *positive beep*
Interrogator: Now all of a sudden you're scared about something?
Jan: No. *negative beep*
James: Take your hand off the touch-plate Jan. If you're gonna give my kid a pop-quiz, I'd like to wait until I have a lawyer present.
Interrogator: You might like it, but the law doesn't require it.
Jan: It's no big deal Dad. I can pee on a stick, it doesn't matter
James: You don't know what matters. Okay Officer, sorry if I sounded upset. It's...you get a call in the middle of the night, someone tells you it's your kid...
Interrogator: Yeah.
James: Is there a waiting room?
*wind down*
law_abiding.wav
*wind up*
Jan: Well that was fun. I see you're actually letting the road drive us home. How law abiding of you. Look, it was nothing, okay? It was some friends of mine. They turtled a razorback and then they had to return the gate pass, or else Dwayne's dad was going to get spiked for dereliction.
James: Jan...
Jan: What the hell do you want from me? I mean, I beat the quiz, okay? Nothing's gonna happen.
James: Honey, this isn't a matter of did you break a rule and should I ground you. There are certain kinds of trouble we can't get in.
you_knew.wav
James: Do you understand me? Because if we do, sooner or later people are going to get hurt. Not just you and me, people you've never met. People you don't even know exist.
Jan: How the hell was I supposed to...
James: You knew that. You knew. Maybe not in so many words, but you knew. Didn't you? I should've said. It's on me. My unit. I should've controlled the situation.
Jan: I'm sorry.
James: You're 17, for godsake, it's not your job.
Jan: Is something bad gonna happen?
James: I'll take care of it.
Jan: How?
James: Don't worry honey. It's okay. I'll take care of it.
*wind down*
emergency.wav
*wind up*
*sirens in background*
Operator: *comm beep* Bergen County Emergency Center. Please, describe your emergency.
Officer: Paris 23 Police Station is on fire. Repeat, on fire.
Operator: Are you sure? I get no reading from the fire sensors in that area.
Officer: Hell yes I'm sure! Get your damn sensors fixed! You can see this baby burning from low orbit!
Operator: Are there casualties, or missing persons?
Officer: Negative, it started slow and everyone got out. But, my god, it's really burning now!
Operator: Please, retreat to a safe distance and stand by. An emergency response team has been scrambled to your vicinity.
Officer: Hurry! The station is burning to the ground. There's not going to be anything left. *end comm*
*wind down*
parasites.wav
*wind up*
Hiro (on chatter): Hello? Hello, are you there?
Kamal: What the hell happened?
Hiro (on chatter): I don't know. The connection went dead for a few seconds.
Kamal: I have a situation here. She's gone!
Hiro (on chatter): You let her escape?
Kamal: It happened so fast. I didn't know what to do!
Hiro (on chatter): Where'd she go?
Kamal: The bathroom
Hiro (on chatter): Copy that. What did she say when she left?
Kamal: I don't know. As soon as I started talking about intestinal parasites, boom, gone!
Hiro (on chatter): I don't get it. That should have worked. It's right here in the book. Chapter Three: Share Your Interests.
eyes.wav
Kamal: Chapter Three?! You're in my earpiece here whispering date strategy to me out of a book?
Hiro (on chatter): It's got references....good journals and everything.
Kamal: Oh. Well that's okay I guess.
Hiro (on chatter): Okay, emergency action here. When she gets back, go straight to Chapter Seven. Talk about her eyes.
Kamal: Hiro, what I know about eyes is dissecting them.
Hiro (on chatter): Well okay, it just says eyes here.
Kamal: I was better off with the liver flukes. This is a disaster. Nothing's going...
Waiter: Sir?
Kamal: Hold on Hiro. Yes?
Waiter: Your lady friend asked to deliver this to you. She was unavoidably called away. And, the check sir.
Hiro (on chatter): Oh man. Down in flames.
Kamal: Just the check will be fine.
*wind down*
beer.wav
*wind up*
*door opens*
Hiro: Hey buddy! Sorry about that. Better luck next time my friend.
Kamal: Beer.
Hiro: I got a cold one waiting for ya, pull up a couch and start drinking.
Kamal: A book, Hiroyuki?
Hiro: With references. Look, it's only one date. Who knows, in a year or two...
Kamal: Actually, I've got this other thing...
Hiro: What?
Kamal: Nothing.
Hiro: Oh...you have another date!
Kamal: Sorta...
Hiro: A blind date.
Kamal: Mostly...
Hiro: Aha, an arranged date. Set up by your mother back on Coral. Word of advice...?
Kamal: No thanks.
Hiro: Choose a cheaper restaurant.
Kamal: *laughs*
four_goats
Hiroyuki: Did her parents have to pay to get her set up with a handsome medical resident?
Kamal: Yes. Four goats, or maybe three.
Hiroyuki: You're joking?
Kamal: Of course I'm joking, you moron.
Hiroyuki: What's her name?
Kamal: Sophia, Sophia Bossedon.
Hiroyuki: Someone who needs her dates arranged from 42 light-years away. I'm sure she's got a great personality.
Kamal: Look at the picture.
Hiroyuki: Oh man. Aww man, you are so out of your league.
*wind down*
our_hoodlums
*wind up*
Sophia: I am so sorry. I mean, you seem like a nice guy and all.
Kamal: It's okay.
Sophia: No, it's really not fair. And this place, it's so nice.
Kamal: Yeah, well, I'm glad you like it.
Sophia: It's just that I can't tell my mother about Aiden. She'd freak. Aiden's, you know, very...
Kamal: Earth?
Sophia: Heh. He has a ponytail and he's blonde.
Kamal: He sounds great.
Sophia: Yeah, he helps people get through Earth immigration. You know, visas and whatever. He got my brother here. Some of what he does is kinda gray market, you know. I mean, really, it's black market.
Kamal: But that's not the problem.
Sophia: No.
Kamal: It's not so bad he's...
Sophia: Colorful?
Kamal: ...a hoodlum. Just that he's not...
Sophia: One of our hoodlums.
Kamal: Heh, yeah.
much_lifting.wav
Sophia: Exactly. Mom would say she understood, but...
Kamal: Then you'd pay.
Sophia: Yeah, and the next day she'd just lie in bed, unable to face the day. Not that it would be my fault.
Kamal: Mine does housework. Face like a closed book. Big jobs involving much lifting. Doesn't need help.
Sophia: The whole house stops breathing.
Kamal: Ahh, Coral. Maybe it's just a hard place to be a mother.
Sophia: I'm never going back.
*wind down*
meditape.wav
*wind up*
Sophia: And then when Aiden finally did show up, he still had meditape on his ankle. And I felt like a total bitch.
Kamal: Well how could you know? Four hours late on your birthday?
Sophia: Exactly. But there he'd been in the emergency room..
Kamal: Or stopping by the pharmacy on the way back from his girlfriend's house to buy a roll of tape.
Sophia: Are you trying to start trouble here?
Kamal: Not at all. Tell me more about the old meditape trick.
Sophia: I'm not talking to you any more.
Kamal: I was dating this girl once. I got real paranoid about what she was doing, so I started... W-well this is going to sound crazy, but I started ghosting her. You know, on the chatternet.
you_could.wav
Sophia: You mean like, spying on her? I thought chatterlines were encrypted. No one could listen in on me, could they?
Kamal: Not at all.
Sophia: You could.
Kamal: Of course not.
Sophia: You could, couldn't you?
Kamal: Maybe a little.
Sophia: Show me.
Kamal: Okay. Well if some bad person couldn't live without the sound of your voice, he'd probably start by doing a reverse lookup on your chatter sig.
Sophia: Is this what you always do to impress girls?
Kamal: You see why my mother makes all my dates?
Sophia: *laughs*
say_something.wav
Kamal: Okay, well that's good. You've got some encryption. Okay, it's not completely pathetic. Okay *comm beep* I'm in. Say something.
Sophia: What do you mean say something? *voice echoes* Oh my god, that's my voice! That's me! What are you doing?
Kamal: I'm ghosting you.
Sophia: You can't do that.
Kamal: You're probably right
Sophia: *laughs* Oh my god. Wait. Can you do that with anyone?
*wind down*
guilty.wav
*wind up*
Kamal: You want me to spy on your boyfriend?
Sophia: You must think I'm such a creep.
Kamal: I do, well of course, when I did it to my girlfriend it was okay. Like the dog said - "Not me, but..."
Kamal + Sophia: "another dog that looks just like me" *laughs*
Sophia: It's just that I...I mean, there was this one time when he...you know. I mean they were drunk and it didn't mean anything. It was just body knocking.
Kamal: And that made you feel better?
Sophia: Well he promised me never, ever again. But there's...I just have this feeling.
Kamal: I know.
Sophia: You know, all of a sudden he started bringing me these gifts. Aiden can be really generous, but it just feels...
Kamal: Guilty.
Sophia: Yeah.
Kamal: Yeah.
*wind down*
message_saved.wav
*wind up*
Machine: *beep* You have three new messages and seven old messages. First unplayed message:
Sophia: Kamal, thanks for the...what would you call it...the Aiden stuff. I guess I didn't realize there would be 30 hours worth. *laughs* But I'll...I'll try the search-thingy you sent with it. Thanks a lot. I owe you big time.
Machine: *beep* Message deleted. Next message.
Sophia: Hi, Kamal. Could you call me when you get this? I managed to dump all the sleeping time, but I was wondering... Oh, wait, here it is. I can search for women's voices. That's very clever. *laughs* Never mind.
Machine: *beep* Message deleted. Next message.
Sophia: Can you...can you ghost someone for me? I mean, I have a name - her name is Celine Jefferson. Call me back. I'm-I'm sorry. Anyway, just call me back. I really need your help.
Machine: *beep* Message saved.
*wind down*
tuna.wav
*wind up*
*door opens*
Sophia: I want to do something really brutal to the bastard.
Kamal: Well, I don't...I don't...I mean...
Sophia: Not hurt him. I just..just completely humiliating him would do. In front of the girl. Where is he?
Kamal: Atlanta
Sophia: Atlanta? That bastard said he was gonna be in Buffalo, New York. Can I talk to him?
Kamal: Not directly. He's off-line.
Sophia: You lost him?
Kamal: No, I've still got him. I just...had to be sneaky. His room is live, right? So even though his chatter's off, I'm tracking him through things like the thermostat monitors.
Sophia: That's spooky.
Kamal: I've got the girl. She's waiting for him in the bar. Wait. It's...it's a restaurant. Whoa, look at this menu! There's tuna on the menu. *whistles*
Sophia: Is she pretty?
hi_aiden.wav
Kamal: No, not, not really. Like a 6, or uh, maybe, maybe a 5.
Sophia: Heh, you're a rotten liar.
Kamal: Okay wait, your boyfriend just passed the electric eye at the restaurant door.
Sophia: He's there? Can I talk to him?
Kamal: I can let you talk to her, or him, or both of them. If you want, I could make your voice sound like it's right between them.
Sophia: Do it.
Kamal: Okay. You are live, any time you want. *chatterline access* *comm beep*
Sophia (on chatter): Celine! Hi, you don't know me but Aiden does. Hi Aiden! Sorry to interrupt your business meeting in Buffalo. I just wanted to tell you your doctor called and said if you wear loose pants and keep using the cream he gave you, the sores will clear up in a couple of weeks. *end comm*
*wind down*
As stated above, there seems to be three different story lines.
In the first story, we are introduced to Jersey and the AI who has taken over his computer, Durga (who says some things suspiciously close to what Melissa says). Neither Jersey or Durga knows who or what she is, but Jersey is more than ready to find out what she is capable of.
The second story follows a character talked about by Jersey and Durga: Jan James. Jan seems to have broken into a military base and is caught and interrogated. Jan is not your normal 17 year old. She can sneak onto military bases, jump off roofs three stories high, and beat lie detector tests. And the fact that she has shown to others that she can do these things does not sit well with her dad. In fact, it's quite probable that James James burnt down the police station just to cover his daughter's transgressions. Yikes!
The last story is about Kamal, a medical student who seems to have rotten luck at dating. His first date runs out on him and sticks him with the check at an expensive restaurant. His second date is a blind date that was set up by his mother. Too bad for Kamal that the girl, Sophia, already has a boyfriend. He takes it pretty well though, and they have a friendly conversation where Kamal shows off that he's pretty good at hacking the chatternets. Sophia enlists his help to check up on her boyfriend, Aiden, whom she feels may be cheating on her. When Sophia's fears are confirmed, Kamal helps her humiliate Aiden in front of his date.
While the stories seem disconnected from each other, there is at least one common thread between all three. At the beginning of each main story, the power has just gone out and the systems are just coming back on-line. But, we still don't understand what these wavs have to do with Melissa's crash, or how she came by them in the first place. Maybe we'll get some more wavs in the future that will help us make sense of all of this.
Axon Cancelled
Thursday marks the third day that the axons have gone live and the phone calls have started. People have been continuing to go out to the sites hoping to activate the ones left cold. About an hour or so before the 17:11 PDT hi_aiden axon was supposed to go off, something strange happened. It was Cancelled due to Axon Error. We have no idea what this means or why it occurred. But we got 13 more axons today, bringing our grand total up to 116 out of 777 (unfortunately, the cancelled axon did not add one to the counter).
Media Coverage
The ilovebees phenomenon has been slowly gaining media exposure - mostly from print sources. However, the people at G4TV/TechTV has had a few segments about the game on Pulse - and on Tuesday, August 24th, they actually sent a video crew out to one of the axons (34.01257, -118.49441 11:11PDT Santa Monica, California). Though the axon did not go hot that day, they still filmed those people who waited at the site with a promise to air the footage later. And today, Friday the 27th, is the day! Not only do we get to see the ilovebees fans hanging out in front of a payphone, our very own vpisteve (who was the first one alerted to ilb with his package of honey) was invited down to the studios to give an interview. Woohoo! And now the entire world, or at least those watching TechTV, know about Ilovebees and ARGs.
Spying on the Queen
The Princess has left us a message on the Flea's page today telling us it is much more fun to play with her than the flea.
§
Hi! Ignore the Pious Flea.
Play with me instead!
Making a mistake is a good way to start!
Her making mistakes comments is a hint that we should visit the 404 page. And guess what? It's updated! She has answered the question from last week, and gives us new choices for the next round of her game.
§
Paul P is the winner!
Q: Out of place, lost, alone. Where did you come from? What tools do you require to get back? Your stories intrigue me. Perhaps you could write another?
A: I came from a glass coffin in a hidden crypt under the floor of the deepest dungeon of the castle, Paul! And it would be very easy to go back there: I wouldn't hardly need any tools at all. Just let the Queen catch me, she'd pop me back in there lickety-split.
Unless you mean before.
Here is the honest truth: I can't remember anything from before. I try and try, but I just can't. But there must have been a before. I mean, you don't just get born a Sleeping Princess, do you? There must have been a me, before I fell asleep.
There are things I know, even if I can't remember them, the way you know which way is up, or whether somebody likes you. I know I belong somewhere else. There are people who love me, who knew me before I fell asleep. And I want to get out of this dark castle, and find them, and ask them all about myself, and find out even my own NAME, for heaven's sake, 'cuz a girl can't go around calling herself the Sleeping Princess forever, can she?
So the tools I would look for first is, I would try to figure out how come I got HERE. That's where I would start.
As for the other thing, Paul asked for a story, so I will tell you about what I did just now to get him a prize.
She likes high places, the Queen does, so she has moved all her stuff up into the Tower. The Tower is a tricky place for me to go. The only way up there is a pair of spiral staircases that wind around one another, with no rail and a very scary drop down the middle. Plus there's nowhere to hide, really, on a staircase.
So I waited until the Castle seemed quiet and then I snuck up the stairs on my softiest feet, tip toe tip toe, stair after stair, turn after turn, until I finally came to the top. There's a room up there and the Queen was in it: I could hear the hum and buzz of her. I knew she would be standing at the window, because that's nearly all she does these days.
I scrunched up real small on the next to last stair and I put on my listening ears and I listened super hard. I could hear the Flea whispering to her. Finally I stuck my head up above the top stair and then I could hear the Flea telling her to build some little teeny roads. Secret paths.
But just then I saw that on the wall next to her, the Queen had hung a HUGE mirror. She must have put it there on purpose to catch me spying! She spun around like a top, WHIZZ, and lurched toward me. I skedaddled back down the stairs lickety-split and tumbledy-thump, wishing I was made of fluff, bump, bump, bump, and at the bottom I put on my speediest feet and zoomed off while she buzzed and roared and squealed all through the castle trying to catch me.
WHEW!
But girls like me, we take some catching.
I do this when I am insufferably pleased with myself , ho ho! :-0
So: once I knew there were little teeny secret paths, I snooped all around until I found a hidden passageway behind the kitchen where YOU could spy on them. And that's my prize for you all, brought to you by Paul P.
Yay Paul!
...And also yrs truly,
(curtsies)
Okay! That was fun! Let's play again!
Here are seven more people, as 'cause you guys seem VERY INTERESTED in seven-y things?.
Sophia
What would your kingdom be like, if you got to make one or fix up the one you're in now?
Sara B
Do you have any dragons in your dungeon? Do you like dragons? If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Grey B
How can you hear and see so much? Most importantly, how can we trust you?
Wandering Angela
We've been wondering about your relationship with the Queen. Are you her daughter? Or are you a visiting Princess from another kingdom? Do you have a name other than Princess?
Matias D
What do you see? What are you afraid of seeing? What would make you smile?
James L
How old are you? Do you have a job? If you're lost, a good idea is often to retrace your steps. What were your old friends like?
Smooth Jack
How do you feel about human beings? I mean, are you human? Do you work with or relate to humans in any significant way? If so, how so?
Once upon a time...
Her story about climbing the spiral staircases to the tower suggest that she might be spying on the Queen through the phone (since phone cords are made of twisted wire). And her mention of a hidden passageway behind the kitchen...where could that lead to? Hmmm, a kitchen has food in it. Where is there a mention of food on the site? The recipes of course! And since only one is hidden, she must be talking about recipe3.html.
The Princess' Axons
The page for Honey-glazed Lemon Chicken, otherwise known as Recipe 3, is where the Princess has hidden new information for us. More axons! This time, there are only four axons, and we must get all four if we want to unlock all the wavs.
§
|
12:16 PDT
38.898893 -077.039445 ¤
Washington DC
|
|
13:19 PDT
33.850229 -117.998190
|
|
14:28 PDT
29.423388 -098.487180
|
|
15:08 PDT
45.526083 -122.698358
|
Since the update occurred at around 9:00 PDT, we had approximately 3 hours before the first new axon would activate. Several intrepid Beekeepers staked out the site, and when the time came, the phone didn't ring. What? This isn't supposed to happen. We all stood around scratching our heads wondering what could have gone wrong. Is it possible the phone was broken, or were they standing at the wrong phone? No matter, there are three more axons today, and we can always find the Hello axon tomorrow.
An hour goes by and it's time for the Troy axon to be activated. And wouldn't you know it. The phone doesn't ring. Or did it? It seems there were two groups looking for the Troy axon. One group said they did get a phone call, but that their answer wasn't recognized. Doh! Two axons down and not one has been activated. This isn't going well.
One more hour and it's time for Receipt. There is no way we will be able to get this since we've heard of no one who is in that area to go check it out. 14:28 PDT comes and goes, and the axon goes hot! Figures. This wav seems to be part of a new story about a grumpy old man who is trying to get some papers that were taken from him when he was evacuated from Troy. And he has the receipt to prove it! So far, this wav has gotten us no closer to understanding why Melissa crashed. Hopefully when we get all the wavs we'll understand more.
The last new wav today is Goodbye, and we manage to get that one too. Yea! This wav is a continuation of the Receipt wav, but it still doesn't leave us with any epiphanies.
Troy Goes Hot!
Well, it only took three days, but Troy is finally hot! Only one more to go and we will have all of the wavs for this storyline. I only hope that this first wav is something good, because right now, no one is seeing the point of this storyline yet.
Hello Goes Hot!
Four days. Four days of waiting to see if the D.C. people could actually find the right phone and then give the correct answer. We sat around waiting and wondering if today was going to be the day, or if someone was going to have to be hurt. Aliendial, axon hunter extraordinaire, took up the challenge of the Hello axon. And luckily, for her safety and our sanity, she came through. Now we can complete the set of wavs and listen to the old man complain about the Marines from Troy.
§
hello.wav
*wind up*
*music in background*
Officer (gruff voice): *chatter ring* *comm beep* Hello? Hello, is anyone there?
Maria: Quartermaster's help desk, this is Maria speaking. Can I help you?
Officer: I don't know, but you can sure as hell try. I was on a call with someone there, must've been an hour and a half or something, she kept putting me on hold, and then finally I'm talking to someone, maybe it was the same girl - I don't know, and then the line goes dead and now I've gotta start all over again with the receipt and everything!
Maria: How can I help you, sir?
Officer: Yeah, okay. So the thing is, I'm sitting in my study, maybe I'm looking at some stuff on the computer, that's nobody's business but my own - I don't care what time of day, but especially if it's late at night, yeah, and all of the sudden these guys show up at the door and start taking my stuff!
Maria: I assume "these guys" were Navy personnel?
troy.wav
Officer: Yeah, right, Marines!
Maria: *static* Where and when did this take place?
Officer: What? I can't hear a damn thing. First thing I do after this, I'm gonna call the CPA and complain about the sound quality today. First, all the bands go out. Now I can hardly hear a word you're saying!
Maria: I'm sure the Chatter Protocol Authority would be happy to hear from you, sir.
Officer: Damn right they would! I pay my taxes, which are outrageous, let me tell you. Last year I had this little place in Hellespont...
Maria: Troy, sir?
Officer: What? Ya-Yeah, Troy.
Maria: So, these Navy personnel...?
Officer: Eh, Marines!
Maria: This "Marine" incursion into your study occurred on Troy, sir?
Officer: Yeah, that's what I was just telling you!
receipt.wav
Officer: So I'm in my house on Troy, it's the middle of the night, and all of a sudden a bunch of combat booted muscle-heads barge in and hustle me at gunpoint - at gunpoint mind you - on to some kind of transport in my damn bathrobe. Well I had some papers, very important family papers, and I made them promise to ship them to me. I managed to hold the goons off long enough to write out a bill of lading. You know, a receipt? And finally I got this really rude marine to sign it, this "Lance Corporal." And yet here I am, three months later and no sign of my papers. No sign at all!
Maria: You're complaining, about evacing from Troy, sir?
Officer: Well, I'm not saying there wasn't a reason for the whole thing. Obviously, but the point is I have a receipt!
Maria: *sigh* Name on the receipt?
goodbye.wav
Officer: Marine Lance Corporal Janet Adams. I was very careful to write that down.
Maria: One moment sir. *comm mute* *knock knock knock*
Officer (deeper voice): Any data yet?
Lieutenant: A lot of chatter from the cable, sir. Looks like a ship dropped in, inside lunar orbit.
Officer: A ship?
Lieutenant: One of ours. The Apocalypso.
Officer: Jesus.
Lieutenant: Sorry sir, I should have been more specific. *end mute*
Maria: I'm sorry to say Corporal Adams was Killed-in-Action almost two months ago, sir.
Officer: Oh. But, I have a receipt!
Maria: *sigh* Alright. I'll pass this along to my superiors.
Officer: Well I appreciate that. I know my family papers aren't probably the Navy's first priority right now, but...
Maria: Very forbearing of you, sir.
Officer: ...but they mean a lot to me. And I have a receipt.
Maria: Thank you sir, your request has been archived and information pertinent to this case will be sent to this CP Address.
Officer: Thanks so much. I-I really appreciate the...
Maria: Goodbye. *end comm*
*wind down*
The leading theory on this set of wavs is that the Officer is looking for Marine Lance Corporal Janet Adams under the pretext that she has some papers that were taken from him when he was evac'ed off of Troy. While it sounds like there are two new voices in goodbye.wav after the knock on the door, if you listen carefully in the background, you can hear the same music playing throughout all of the wavs. That means that the man with the receipt and the man receiving information about the Apocalypso must be in the same room. And, if you go back to the very beginning of hello.wav, you can actually hear him speak in his lower, normal voice for a split second. Now why he is looking for Janet Adams, or what the Apocalypso has to do with this, is still unknown. And we still don't know what this has to do with Melissa or why should would want to keep this secret.
And on other news, as of today we have managed to get 140 of 777 axons hot. Great job Beekeepers!
|
Week 7 August 31st and Onwards |
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Early, Early Update
Tuesday updates have been fairly predictable. Noon EDT comes around and *bam* site update. Not today though. Today they decided to update around Midnight PDT, with more new axons. *sigh* Are we never going to get a new website? I mean, yeah, axons and wavs are cool and all, but I'm really getting sick of looking at all the bee pictures. Plus, how often are we expected to take off of work to go get these things? Even though there are now 4 points around me, after getting totally BURNED on the 24th, I'm not rushing out to answer the phones. If they are still cold, I'll get to them on Saturday.
This time around, the axons on links.html have been archived, and the new set is on hivekuts.html. There are 36 groups, with 9 axons for each, giving 324 more axons for us to go play with. Several people were nice enough to put up websites with the coordinates mapped out, so that we wouldn't have to do it ourselves. Thanks guys!
§
Sorry, but I've taken the coordinates back out for the time being since they really bloated the page. So you can now find them here. Thanks for your understanding.
Oh, and before I forget, Melissa has also updated about.html telling us that the threshold is now 3 recipients per axon. She is also getting new voices each week, but still is trying to analyze and influence the source.
§
Transmission Analysis:
Mission Parameters: I must reveal the truth.
Outbound:
My broadcast system is functional and expanding.
I will transmit to my crew daily until further instructions are received.
Successful transmission threshold:
3 recipients.
Inbound:
The voices are of unknown origin
New voices are intercepted weekly.
I will continue my analysis and attempt to influence the source.
The Looking Glass
And would update Tuesday be complete without new picture corruptions? Of course not!
§
the
BEE_LOGO.gif
the
CUTEBEE.gif
I
BUT_HOME.gif
of
BUTABOUT.gif
a
BUTTHEHI.gif
am
BUTHONEY.gif
a
BUT_FUN.gif
am
BEEBACKG.gif
certain
bee2_margaretphoto.jpg
servant
farnsworth-window.jpg
evil
margaret.jpg
little
chloe.jpg
beauty,
danapicnic.jpg
girl.
danadress.jpg
What
dana.jpg
queen,
bee_garden.jpg
doorway
smoker.jpg
of
langshivel.gif
Living in a old castle
Playing hide and seek.
langshivel.gif (uncorrupted)
enemy
figure.jpg
an
cutebee2.gif
aging
margarets_market.jpg
and
groupofjars.jpg
for
BEEWITHH.gif
the
muses.jpg
I?
na-cat.gif
Put all the lines together and it's another riddle.
I am the enemy of an aging beauty,
the servant of a certain evil queen,
and a doorway for the little girl.
Living in a old castle
Playing hide and seek.
What am I?
The first two lines obviously refer to a mirror. An aging beauty will never look in a mirror and the evil queen from Snow White had her "Mirror, Mirror on the wall". But mirror.html doesn't work. The third line hints at the exact wording we need to use. The little girl is Alice, and she went Through the Looking Glass giving us lookingglass.html. The Princess is giving us another conversation that she had with the Flea.
§
seek
seek
seek
behold:
Princess
grope:
seeker > !attach Princess
In your dreams!
fail
Does Her Majesty know you go trolling around the Castle sneaking kisses?
master sector > !init transmit proc
recurse
Work, work, work. How many relationships break up over it? You have to tell that woman you need more quality time.
master sector > !init transmit proc
that is the law and the whole of the law
Oh, very understanding of you, but if I were her, I'd be checking the scullery maids for bite-marks.
behold:
!analyze Princess
fail
That's because you have the brain of a cheap wristwatch.
!analyze Princess
fail
Can you tell me what "dumb as a sack of hammers" means?
!analyze Princess
fail
My point.
Seek the truth
Evade
Behold the truth
Escape
Reveal the truth
That is the law and the whole of the law
Why?
!analyze Princess
fail
You always go around saying that as if it meant something, but really it's completely made up.
That is the law and the whole of the law
reveal:
!transmit law > Princess
Don't even bother
fail
I mean, why not:
Seek balloons!
Behold balloons!
Reveal balloons!
That is the law, or at least 10/6ths of the law in this size!
!analyze Princess
Seek a train leaving Dockyard Station at 450 kmh
Behold a second train, loaded with cupcakes, approaching from the north at .28 c
Reveal a very messy accident with translight whipped cream potential
!analyze Princess
Seek just one friend in this huge dark lonesome Castle
Behold spindly-legged obsessive bloodsucking bug
Reveal flyswatter
!analyze Princess
splotch
OK, that was funny.
grope:
seeker > !attach Princess
Not that funny.
reveal:
Princess > seek
I don't know. Home, I guess.
Princess
seek >> home
Yeah. Except I don't remember it. Or really even know what it means.
!transmit
seeker > home
I guess we have something in common after all.
grope:
seeker > !attach Princess
You just don't give up, do you?
seeker > !attach Princess
recurse
Try kissing THIS, buster!
evade
evade
evade
escape
Eavesdropping
Dana updates her blog telling us about a game she used to play when she was small called "the eavesdropping game." They would listen in on strangers' conversations, and if certain keywords came up, it meant that something would happen. I guess she's telling us that we need be listening carefully to the wavs, or maybe the post is just to keep our spirits up. Of course, if we got a new website, our spirits would be sky-high, but I digress. Anyways, like Dana says, "Keep going hot, guys."
§
Eavesdropping
And the axons keep on coming.
The Operator's clock struck midnight, and now we've got axons in 160 cities in 44 states.
She thinks you're her crew. You're playing along, and you're re-assembling her memory fragments. Good. That seems like the best chance we have to understand what she wants and how to help her ?" or how to stop her, if we need to.
324 payphones to find. 36 new messages to intercept.
*
...my favorite game growing up was "the eavesdropping game." My mom taught it to me, and I think she made it up. It was a fortune telling game. We played it in elevators, on trains, or standing in line at the store ?" anywhere there were people to eavesdrop on.
This is how it started: One of us would tug our right earlobe twice. That was the secret signal. Then we would be quiet and listen to the people around us. We would listen for magic words ?" we had a whole list of them. If you heard someone say "Go," it meant you were going to take a trip soon. If you heard the word "why," it meant you were going to solve a mystery. If someone said "never," it meant that something you thought would never ever happen, not in a million years, was just about to come true. We always listened for me first, and then we listened for Mom. Our list of magic words kept getting longer and longer and longer, because every time we played we would add another word. My mom would whisper, "Dana! Did you hear what that woman said to the waiter? She said, 'lemon'... and that means you're going to get kissed!" And then she would pucker her lips and laugh, and just like that 'lemon' would be added to the list.
When we played, Mom always said we were eavesdropping on the future.
*
To all the axon-seekers: Go out in groups, get each others' backs. Fan out if you have to, but keep communicating ?" that seems to really help.
I know a lot of you are putting in heroic efforts... driving hours out of your way, going back to failed axons to try again. I'm speechless about it. I just wanted to let you know that I know, and it's truly awesome.
Keep going hot, guys.
posted by Dana at 8/31/2004 09:00:47 AM
The Hivekuts Wavs
It only took six days, but we were finally able to get all of the Hivekuts Wavs up and running. Once again, they are divided into three main stories. The Jersey wavs show us that Durga is giving Jersey the same Jan and Kamal wavs that we are listening to. Meanwhile, Durga's personality is developing, although she still has moments of "reflection" that Jersey cannot understand. The Kamal wavs pick up with Kamal meeting Aiden. Aiden needs Kamal to use his hacker abilities and sets up a test, which bring some unexpected results for everyone involved. The Jan wavs follow Jan as she has another run in with the Interrogator. It seems he has a need for one of Jan's special talents.
§
the_human_heart.wav
*wind up*
*music in background*
Jersey: Wait, hang on. Oh, this bit is great. *turns up music* *turns down music* My dad loves this stuff. He says, well he's away a lot, like years at a time. It drives him crazy. He says this stuff reminds him of what he's fighting for.
Durga: I don't understand.
Jersey: That he can connect. He can listen to this stuff and imagine the people who made it. They cared about the same things we do. Making a buck, finding a girl, rooting for the home team. These old guys? They really knew people. They knew the human heart. That's what my dad says.
Durga: Why are you telling me this?
Jersey: It's a long way away, you know? Out to wherever he is. He gets lonely out there. I wish you hadn't told me.
Durga: What?
Jersey: About my mom.
Durga: Oh.
curious_girl.wav
Jersey: It doesn't matter. Forget about it.
Durga: I'm sorry.
Jersey: S'ok. S'alright. I'm a survivor.
Durga: Jersey, listen.
Jersey: You got something good?
Durga: What?
Jersey: Naw, I can tell. There's something about you, like your refresh rate goes up or something when you're, you know, like...
Durga: Efficient?
Jersey: Gloating.
Durga: It's about Kamal. I started to run a...
Jersey: Why are you following that guy anyway? I mean, not to be a jerk about it, but the planet's crawling with refues.
Durga: I don't know. He just seems..very interesting..to me.
Jersey: Why?
Durga: It's not important.
Jersey: It's happening again?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: The reflecting thing?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: You aren't supposed to want to know why you wanna know about this guy. You know?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: And that bugs the hell out of you.
Durga: I am a very curious girl.
exclusive_license.wav
Jersey: So, about Kamal.
Durga: I rang a secondary ring around him.
Jersey: A second...? Ne-nevermind.
Durga: Listen to this:
*wind up*
Aiden (on tape): So you come by about 6:20, 6:30 something like that.
Officer (on tape): I bang on the door, demand to come in, look scary.
Jersey: Pause it. Who's this?
Durga: The police officer.
Jersey: What?!
Durga: A police officer is a member of the civilian authority structure, granted an exclusive license to use force and the maintenance of society...
Jersey: I know what a cop is. This is the cop? What's the time stamp?
Durga: 13:27:41
Jersey: Before Kamal came over to the girl's apartment?
Durga: Before.
Jersey: Daaaamn.
*wind
good_at_my_job.wav
up*
Aiden (on tape): I think of it as product testing, quality assurance. I need people who, you know, can work well under pressure.
Officer (on tape): You want him arrested?
Aiden (on tape): Trying to sell me a bigger ticket item? No, just rattle-and-roll him.
Officer (on tape): I was thinking this time that you...
Aiden (on tape): Regular prices.
Officer (on tape): You wanna stay friends with me Aiden?
Aiden (on tape): I keep a lot of friends, friend. I know the going rate.
*wind down*
Jersey: Un-freaking-believable.
Durga: You know what I am?
Jersey: Incredibly illegal?
Durga (as Interrogator): Good at my job.
Jersey: Heh. You do impresssions. Just what the world needs. Super powered spyware with a sense of humor. Wow.
Durga: I've been thinking a lot about bees.
awful_fast.wav
Jersey: Bees?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: Why?
Durga: I don't know.
Jersey: And that's like...creepy.
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: This is more reflection stuff, isn't it?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: Heh. When I was little, we had this mirror in the bathroom. I used to hide behind the door and jump out and see if I could catch my reflection doing something interesting.
Durga: Startle it.
Jersey: Well, before it had time to, just, you know, mirror me.
Durga: You think that's what I'm doing?
Jersey: Well, the thing is, you have to jump out awful fast.
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: I gotta tell ya, I-I feel kinda weird about listening to this stuff about Jan. I mean, I'm kinda wondering if you could do a little backscan on the chick down the hall, and all of a
sudden you're drilling into hardened police emergency channels and...
Durga: So you don't want any more material on Janissary James?
Jersey: No...I mean, yeah. Well, I mean, whatcha got?
real.wav
*windup*
Interrogator (on tape): So you're about the last person on the planet I need a civics lecture from.
Jan (on tape): Well you sure as hell need one from somebody.
Interrogator (on tape): What I needed was an asset to solve a problem. You were just dumb enough to make yourself available.
Jan (on tape): *sob* Look, you just made me help you murder someone. Could you just be a little bit nice to me?
Interrogator (on tape): Yeah. Okay.
*wind down*
Jersey: That...wasn't what I was expecting.
Durga: I know.
Jersey: Damn.
Durga: Should I stop?
Jersey: *sigh* For a quality experience, the girls have to be real.
creepy.wav
Jersey: Hang on. Let me turn this off. *turns off music* You know, I just had a creepy thought.
Durga: A bee dies when it stings you.
Jersey: Yeah.
Durga: But it can also sting you after it's dead.
Jersey: Yuck.
Durga: Curious symmetry.
Jersey: Okay, that's a creepy thought too. But you know what I was thinking?
Durga: What?
Jersey: How spooky it would be if someone was listening to us right now.
Durga: To us?
Jersey: Spying on us. You know, like we're listening to them?
Durga: That would be impossible. I would know.
Jersey: Yeah, I guess you're right. But if they were, creeeepy.
*wind down*
pigeon.wav
*wind up*
*sidewalk noises*
Man (in background): Open your bag, right, open it up for me sir. I can't see anything through the....
Marta: Hot off the torch.
Jan: Hey Marta. Whatcha got today?
Marta: I got pigeon and the special.
Jan: Eh, what's the special?
Marta: I'd stick with the pigeon.
Jan: *laughs* Maybe later.
Marta: Uh huh. Maybe later when I'm not looking you mean.
Jan: Hey, hey, I was a kid. Geez, let it go.
Marta: *laughs* Hey, you tell that good looking daddy of yours "Hey" for me, okay?
*car pulls up*
Interrogator: Hey, Janissary.
Jan: Officer.
accessorize.wav
Interrogator: Does your dad know you're cutting the sleeves off his old shirts?
Jan: Everybody loves a girl in uniform.
Interrogator: Listen, Jan, I need your help.
Jan: Well, I'd crop that blue shirt of yours. Flash a little skin. A little detailing in your holster wouldn't hurt either. Accessorize. That's the key.
Interrogator: Get in the car, Jan.
Jan: I can't do anything for you.
Interrogator: Oh, I think you can. Let's take a ride so I can explain things.
Jan: You can explain things right here.
Interrogator: Okay. You ever want to be a cop?
Jan: Oh yeah. It's all I think about.
frustrated.wav
Interrogator: There's so many sons of bitches in the world, Jan. Being a cop is a frustrating job.
Jan: Hmmm. You look frustrated.
Interrogator: If I got too frustrated, I might have to redirect my attention to that fire last week. The one that destroyed all your test samples.
Jan: Hey, I didn't do anything.
Interrogator: YOU didn't.
Jan: But...Why would he...?
Interrogator: You are going to help me, Jan. But I want you to know why. Take a look at this vid tonight.
Jan: What is it?
Interrogator: Take a look. My chatter number's on the case. Call me when you're done. Then I'll tell you what you're gonna do.
*wind down*
to_do.wav
*wind up*
*hitting*
*crying & screaming*
Woman: Aggh! Stop it! Please don't! Please! Noooo! God nooo! Aggh!
*tv off*
*chatter dialing*
*chatter ring*
*comm beep*
Interrogator (on chatter): Yo.
Jan: What do you want me to do?
on_time.wav
Interrogator (on chatter): You watch it?
Jan: What do you want?
Interrogator (on chatter): At 8:30 tomorrow night, you need to be at the southwest corner of Fourth, downtown. Under the big Space Ways Vacation sign.
Jan: What do I do?
Interrogator (on chatter): Just be on time. We'll take it from there.
Jan: And what's gonna happen?
Interrogator (on chatter): Well, I'm not gonna get an arson warrant for your dad.
Jan: And?
Interrogator (on chatter): Don't be late. *knock knock knock*
Jan: Yeah. *end comm*
code_nothing.wav
*door opens*
James: Hey, Dwayne dropped by again.
Jan: Yeah, I know. I was just...Aren't you supposed to menace guys so they won't hit on me?
James: You can take of yourself.
Jan: I say that a lot, don't I.
James: Yeah. Hey, what's on your mind.
Jan: Just...nothing Dad.
James: Real nothing, or code nothing?
Jan: Well, you never talk about your unit.
James: My...what?
Jan: Most d-mobs they talk about their unit. They brag, they have buddies over and bitch about the officer's they hated and lie about their kills.
James: That was a long time ago.
Jan: Didn't you like them?
James: I served with the best, Jan. The best.
Jan: Then why don't you ever talk...
James: Do you want me to be one of those sorry old bastards and sit around the apartment all day drinking beer and reminiscing about the good old days?
Jan: Yeah. Sometimes.
James: Heh. Duly noted. Heh.
*wind down*
anything_illegal.wav
*wind up*
*footsteps*
*siren sounds*
*car pulls up*
*door opens*
Interrogator: Sir, I'm gonna need to search your vehicle.
Man: Excuse me?
Interrogator: Step out of the car please, and keep your hands where I can see them.
Man: What did I do?
Interrogator: Step out of the car, sir. Now.
Man: What is this? Officer, I just left work. C'mon. I haven't had time to do anything illegal.
Interrogator: I'm *gun drawn* gonna have to ask you to step out...
Man: Hey! What the hell are you doing?
Interrogator: DROP THE WEAPON!
*gunshots*
right.wav
*screams & running*
Jan: Oh my god!
Interrogator: Step back! Keep away from this vehicle!
Man (in background): Oh my god! The cop just shot that guy!
Interrogator: He had a weapon. You, Miss. You were standing right there. You saw he drew a weapon. Right?
Jan: Right.
standard_procedure.wav
Interrogator: *comm beep* This is Fox 9-7-7, requesting an ambulance, this location. One citizen.
Operator: *garbled static*
Interrogator: No, I'm okay. Send uniforms for crowd control though.
Operator: *garbled static*
Interrogator: Just a traffic stop. He drew a weapon.
Operator: *garbled static*
Interrogator: Yeah, we'll need the scene team. But you can tell the ambulance crew the client is DRT.
Operator: *garbled static*
Interrogator: *end comm* Miss? Don't go anywhere. We'll need you to give a statement and a lie detector about what you saw. All standard procedure.
Jan: You just...
Interrogator: Name?
Jan: You know m...Janissary James.
drt.wav
Interrogator: We'll get you home as soon as we've taken a statement, Miss James.
Jan: Can I ask you a question, Officer?
Interrogator: Now step over here Miss James.
Jan: What does DRT stand for?
*door opens*
Interrogator: Watch your head. It means "Dead Right There".
*door shuts*
*door opens*
*car starts*
*wind down*
creamsicle.wav
*wind up*
*driving sounds*
Jan: So what now? Every guy you know who beats his girlfriend you're just going to facehole 'em and blackmail somebody into backing you up?
Interrogator: Not just anyone. A civilian witness who can pass the lie detector. Coroners' inquest is gonna eat that up.
Jan: Wow. Serve and protect.
Interrogator: Last week, when I had your hand on the PQI, and you sat there, cool as a creamsicle and lied your pretty ass off, the machine was too stupid to tell - I just wanted to lean across the desk and slap you.
Jan: Well, now I know something. Are you going to pull me over in a couple of weeks and pop me too?
miracles.wav
Interrogator: And a couple of days later, I figured out you were an answer to a prayer.
Jan: You can't...you can't just kill people. It can't be that easy.
Interrogator: Cool out Janissary James. You didn't kill anybody. I did.
Jan: You made me part of it.
Interrogator: That vid you screened? That was my buddy's daughter. If that was you, what do you think your father would have done?
Jan: Leave my dad out of this.
Interrogator: Too late Jan. Sometime when you were a baby, somebody stuck you with a needle and shot you full of miracles. Smart. Fast. Strong. Never get sick. Never get drunk. Don't need much sleep.
Jan: How do you know?
Interrogator: And what did you do?
asset.wav
Interrogator: Shoplifting. Play high school goddess for the tormented geeks in your neighborhood.
Jan: Oh, I-I guess I shoulda been out on the streets murdering bad guys, huh? Strangling jaywalkers on my way home from school.
Interrogator: When I was your age, I pulled strings so I could join up a year early. Wanted to help save humankind. So you're about the last person on the planet I need a civics lecture from.
Jan: Well you sure as hell need one from somebody.
Interrogator: What I needed was an asset to solve a problem. You were just dumb enough to make yourself available.
Jan: *sob* Look, you just made me help you murder someone. Could you just be a little bit nice to me?
Interrogator: Yeah. Okay.
*wind down*
cute_little_caps.wav
*wind up*
Kamal: *chatter ring* Dammit!
Hiroyuki: That's like the seventh time today you've refused to *chatter ring* answer your chatter. I'd say it was your mother.
Kamal: My mother is 42 light-years away. *chatter ring*
Hiroyuki: Except you'd never dare not answer your mother. *chatter ring* Bill collectors perhaps? Or immigration.
Kamal: *chatter ring* Dammit!
Hiroyuki: Or, you've been breaking hearts in *chatter ring* the nursing dorms, haven't you. If I look out the window here I bet I'll see like four of them *chatter ring* standing outside in short skirts and those cute little caps. *chatter ring* Just waiting. *blinds raised*
Kamal: You need a girlfriend. *chatter ring*
Hiroyuki: We both need girlfriends.
pony_tail.wav
Kamal: It's not a girlfriend *chatter ring* at the other end of that chatter, it's a gangster.
Hiroyuki: *chatter ring* Good looking gangster?
Kamal: Ponytail.
Hiroyuki: This is what I'm saying. *chatter ring* You're in no position to be picky.
Kamal: I was ghosting his chatter and I sorta let him notice.
Hiroyuki: You did what?! You were showing off.
Kamal: Yeah.
Hiroyuki: For a girl.
Kamal: Yeah.
Hiroyuki: For the "arrangement".
Kamal: I wish you wouldn't call her that. Her name is Sophia.
Hiroyuki: Hrm. *blinds lowered* Her name is Trouble.
Kamal: What do you mean? *knock knock knock*
Hiroyuki: Did I forget to mention that a good looking guy with a ponytail was coming up to the apartment? *knock knock knock*
Kamal: Oh no.
*wind down*
freelance.wav
Kamal: Freelance?
Aiden: Free as in paid dude. As in I would pay you money to use your powers for good instead of...
Kamal: Spying on you?
Aiden: That.
Kamal: I don't think it...it would be a good idea to work for you.
Aiden: Oh, you mean because of Sophia? Sophie and I worked things out. Where's my damn chatter? *chatter dialing* *comm beep* Soph, you want to talk to Kamal?
Sophia (on chatter): Hi Kamal, Aiden's a bastard.
Kamal: Pardon me?
Sophia (on chatter): *laughs* But he's my bastard.
Kamal: That's good.
bracelet.wav
Aiden: Thanks Soph. *comm beep* See?
Kamal: Yeah.
Aiden: You're under estimating her.
Kamal: What?
Aiden: You talk to her in the last couple of days.
Kamal: A little.
Aiden: She told you about the bracelet.
Kamal: Um..
Aiden: You think I bought her off?
Kamal: It's an expensive bracelet.
Aiden: If you think she's a who...
Kamal: Don't say it.
Aiden: If I had given her that before we made up, Sophie would have run me through with a butcher knife.
Kamal: Good. I...mean...
Aiden: You didn't want to be disappointed.
Kamal: I'm not.
Aiden: I'm a good judge of people, Kamal. You're not.
Kamal: You shouldn't assume anything about m..
Aiden: You think I'm stupid. I'm friendly. I smile a lot. That's not what you respect. Okay.
Kamal: Respect? I don't think this has anything to do...
Aiden: Ahh, not true. You think all the time. So think about the freelance thing. Maybe come by for dinner tomorrow. Sophia's cooking. Six-ish?
Kamal: I don't think that would be such a good id...
Aiden: Look at it this way. Going to a job interview is not accepting a job. It's an interview. Dinner, okay?
*wind down*
panic_button.wav
*wind up*
Kamal: What does she see in him?
Hiroyuki: The ponytail. Girls like hair.
Kamal: He nearly called her a... You heard what he said.
Hiroyuki: You think I was standing in my bedroom with my ear pressed against the door eavesdropping?
Kamal: You weren't?
Hiroyuki: Actually, I was, but it was really hard to hear.
Kamal: He's so...cocky.
Hiroyuki: Funny choice of words. Maybe it's the jewelry. You can tell she's used to money.
Kamal: I'll need a panic button. A backup.
Hiroyuki: He can keep her in the style to which she is accustomed. W-what do you mean a panic button? You're not going over there.
Kamal: I'll set up a program. Some...some kind of dead-man's switch.
Hiroyuki: Oh no. I don't want any part of this.
code_word.wav
Hiroyuki: I'm not trusting the hands and body of a future surgeon to the tender ministrations of a pissed off boyfriend.
Kamal: You won't even have to go inside.
Hiroyuki: Good.
Kamal: Unless...
Hiroyuki: No.
Kamal: I can't get to my chatter. You can be a couple blocks away, ghosting me.
Hiroyuki: Are you even listening to me? I don't want to be involved.
Kamal: We'll need a code word. I'll say...the twelve cranial nerves.
Hiroyuki: The twelve cranial nerves?
Kamal: It's not likely to come up in conversation.
Hiroyuki: Did you hear me say "No"? I said "No".
Kamal: Except the cops need to come where I am. Okay, I've got it.
Hiroyuki: Kamal. You're not listening.
Kamal: What?
*wind down*
blue_then_red.wav
*wind up*
*thunderstorm outside*
Aiden: I'm gonna check on Sophie in the kitchen. Let me get you another beer, dude. Be
right back.
Kamal: You there?
Hiroyuki (on chatter): I'm here...dude. It's raining. I'm getting wet.
Kamal: So, cranial nerves, you hit the buttons.
Hiroyuki (on chatter): Blue, then red.
Kamal: Yeah. Blue, then red. I think. Yes.
Aiden: Good to have you over. Good for Soph. Someone from home.
Kamal: Thank you. It's nice to be invited.
Aiden: Dinner was good, huh? She's a good cook.
Kamal: Very good. The keftedes may be the best I've ever had.
Aiden: Which was that?
Kamal: The lamb meatballs.
Aiden: Oh, yeah. I liked those. Home cooking. So your parents are trying to get here.
visa.wav
Kamal: They've applied, but they don't have any reason to be bumped in priority. So we're thinking, when I get through with school and all that, I'll get permanent residency.
Aiden: How far away is that?
Kamal: At least a couple of years.
Aiden: That's a long time. Couple of years. So there's the freaking rub. You thought about bringing them in on a visitor's visa?
Kamal: I was denied.
Aiden: Lots of people trying to get here these days.
Kamal: Sophia said her brother was coming. You got him papers?
Aiden: Yeah, he's inbound. Her mother won't leave Coral though.
Kamal: So, maybe there's a way you could help my parents?
Aiden: It's nice to have you come over. That freelancing thing I mentioned, it would be great. You'd be coming around, Soph would have someone from home to talk to. Could you do something like set up a chatter account?
my_family.wav
*thunder*
Kamal: A chatter account? I-I could set one up, but you don't need me to do that kind thing.
Aiden: Maybe try it now. Set me up a chatter account for Bakrio Moray Muengay. You need me to spell that?
Kamal: What's his government number?
Aiden: If Bakri could get a government number Kamal, what would I need to pay you for?
Kamal: All right. But this isn't about money. It's about my family.
Aiden: Bringing your parents to Earth? We could talk about that.
Kamal: I just want it clear. If I work for you, you'll see about getting my family here?
Aiden: Kamal, that's what I do.
shock_sticks.wav
Kamal: Okay. I can find an unclaimed address and set up a shell. From the outside, it'll be just like a regular account. *typing starts*
Aiden: What time is it anyway?
Kamal: Okay, this will just take a sec. I have to build a filter to find an unclaimed address. *knock knock knock*
Aiden: Yeah?
Officer (muffled): Berkeley Police.
Aiden: What did you freaking do? *knock knock knock*
Officer (muffled): Open up. Berkeley Police.
Kamal: I didn't do anything!
Aiden: The Berkeley cops use their shock sticks, you know?
*door opens*
trigeminal.wav
Aiden: Officer. What can I do for you on this drizzly evening.
*door shuts*
Officer: You with the chatter. Hands off it. *typing stops* Are you the resid...*typing starts* HANDS OFF THE CHATTER. *typing stops* Put them on your head. On your head. Who's apartment is this?
Aiden: I live here.
Officer: Your name?
Aiden: Aiden Maki.
Officer: Can I see your ID?
Aiden: Sure, what seems to be the problem?
Officer: We got a trace on the chatter for a possible CP fraud. Sir, do you want to tell me just exactly what you were doing?
Kamal: Um, I was...loo..I was looking up a friend's address.
Officer: I'm sorry. I will have to confiscate that chatter.
Aiden: Don't you have to have some sort of warrant?
Kamal: Oh god, olfactory optic ocular motor trigeminal..
Aiden: Officer, my friend is just looking up an address.
Hiroyuki (on chatter): What? Oh-oh right, that's me.
red.wav
Officer: I will deal with you in a moment Mr. Maki and I will need to see some ID.
Kamal: Red red red red red..red. Those are really..great..red...red curtains, Aiden.
Hiroyuki: (on chatter): I thought it was blue?
Kamal: Red!
Hiroyuki: (on chatter): Okay. *alarm beeps*
Aiden: My friend is very passionate about interior decoration.
Officer: *comm beep* I'm going to have to confiscate that chatter! *comm static* Copy that. Repeat address please? *comm static* Jesus christ, I'm on my way. *end comm* You're a lucky bastard. I've got a Priority One. I've gotta go.
Aiden: You have to go?
Officer: Officer under fire about a block and half from here.
Aiden: That's it?
Officer: *comm beep* Unit 2-16 responding to backup. I'm less than two blocks from... *door slams*
i_hate_you.wav
Hiroyuki (on chatter): Kamal, what's going on? *thunder*
Aiden: That was weird. And convenient.
Kamal: Yes, uh, much more convenient than if you were to suddenly drop your chatter down a sewer.
Hiroyuki (on chatter): What?
Aiden: What?
Kamal: Yes, if you were to lose your chatter.
Hiroyuki (on chatter): What?
Aiden: What?
Kamal: For god's sake you moron, smash the damn chatter with a brick and get the hell out of there!
Hiroyuki (on chatter): Dude what? *sirens* Ohh, the blue button. Only you didn't let me hit the blue button. You made me hit the red one. And that means...I hate you. *end comm*
Aiden: You had someone ghosting you. You pulled some hacker stunt to get that cop out of here.
Kamal: Not me. Some other dog that looks just like me.
tack_hammer.wav
Aiden: You were afraid. You were thinking I might be the kinda guy who would hold a grudge. Say, break your fingers. Each one. With a tack hammer. *thunder* Kamal, I am so not that guy.
Kamal: I've gotta go. I've gotta check on my friend.
Aiden: Stay and we'll talk.
Kamal: For some reason, it's never Plan A. No, I got my friend in a world of trouble. I've gotta go. *door opens* Tell Sophia...thanks for dinner.
*door shuts*
*wind down*
raining_cops.wav
*wind up*
*door opens*
Kamal: Hiro? Hiroyuki? Are you home?
*door shuts*
Hiroyuki: You bastard.
Kamal: Oh thank god you're home. You're okay? They didn't pick you up?
Hiroyuki: I'm okay. No thanks to you and half the Berkeley Police Department.
Kamal: I didn't plan it that way.
Hiroyuki: I smashed the chatter, threw it down a sewer grate, and then it started raining cops. Cops in cars. Cops on foot. Cops dropping out of camo'd helios. Cops Every Damn Where.
Kamal: Sophia sent leftovers.
Hiroyuki: And now I don't have a chatter.
Kamal: I know. I'm going to give you mine.
Hiroyuki: I don't want your chatter. All my stuff was on mine.
dude.wav
Hiroyuki: My address book, my schedule, my debit account. Every damn thing!
Kamal: Mine is cooler than yours.
Hiroyuki: You just couldn't let me hit that blue button, could you?
Kamal: That would have pushed the officer under fire alert to my chatter. Which was Plan A for if Aiden tried to...you know...
Hiroyuki: Pull out your lungs?
Kamal: Don't sound so eager. But as it turned out, I needed the cop to go away.
Hiroyuki: Away, meaning to me. And cop, meaning every armed officer within 50 city blocks. All because I hit the red button.
Kamal: The officer under fire alert...
Hiroyuki: ...while it was still on MY chatter.
Kamal: Yeah, but...Sophie sent leftovers!
Hiroyuki: Leftovers?
Kamal: Yeah, she made marties, uh, little stuffed appetizers. And spiced lamb meatballs - with real meat! And...almond rice. And-and milk pudding! So...are we okay?
Hiroyuki: *eating* Dude!
*wind down*
Wandering_Angela is the winner!
Friday, September 3rd. The Princess updates her 404 page once more. And oh joy, oh rapture, the killer.jpgs have what only can be more axons for us. The general consensus is that these are a sneak-peak of the axons for next week. We were able to find 12 of the 13 original pictures so we have a good idea where the majority of the axons will be next week.
Besides the annoyance of yet more axons, SP answers Wandering_Angela's question and gives us a story as suggested by Paul last week. We find out a little more about the Princess' past, and the story gives us some more ideas to mull over.
§
Wandering_Angela is the winner! You can thank her for the chance to spy on the Queen's secret roads this week. Just for fun, I have played a little game myself with what you will find...
Here are the questions you can vote for this time.
Avery: Have you ever had to tell a lie? Why? Did anything bad happen because of it?
MasterKirk: Do you have a job? What are you doing when you aren’t interacting with us humans?
Crashless: It must be difficult with someone like Flea constantly groping you. It seems like you and he have become friends of sorts, is that accurate? I worry that he's not telling you why he's trying so hard to get the Queen to build roads for him. Why would he want to do such a thing?
Kathleen W: Are you reflected?
Shad0: Tell us about the glass coffin in the dungeon. What is it like? Can you see anything from there? How did the Queen get you into it, and why? Even more interesting, how did you ever get out of it?
Mike P: Why are you sleeping? Do you always talk so much in your sleep? What name do you go by when you’re awake?
Naptikon: How can we spy on the Queen/Pious flea? Is there a way we can distract them or in some way help you? Who opened the glass coffin?
Here is Angela's question:
Q:
We've been wondering about your relationship with the Queen. Are you her daughter? Or are you a visiting Princess from another kingdom? Do you have a name other than Princess?
A:
The Queen wants to smother me. The Queen wants to lock me up. And I am not her daughter. I'm a lot older than I look, Angela. That's not something I remember, that's something I just know. I'm older than the Flea and I'm older than the Queen and it was bad day for them when the coffin cracked and I got out because I'm never going back there again. I'm a survivor I play to win and I will die before I go back again.
I had another name once, but I lost it.
I am a little sad today.
But that's okay. I'm tough. I've got Pluck.
Okay.
I think I'm going to tell a story now so I get in a happier place, and because Paul asked last time, and I said I would.
This is not a game. I like games, but this is just the first chapter of a story I'm making up, now. I'll make up some more next time.
Perdita's Story
Chapter 1: The Circus
Once upon a time there was a little girl named Perdita, who lived with her father, her mother, and her brother in a little cottage in a big city. Her father was only a humble tin-cutter, and her mother's fingers were stained with rust from working in a ball-bearing factory, but Perdita was famous for miles around because of her extraordinary beauty. She was not a bad girl, but she was very vain, and spent hours every day preening in front of her mirror.
One day, the Circus came to town. The father decided to take the whole family there, even though they didn't have very much money. So off they went to see the Glass-Eater and the Broken Lady and the Electric Weasels for which this particular circus was known.
After the Glass Eater had spat out his last bottle of the afternoon, but before the Weasels were due to arrive in their famous Luminous Barouche, Perdita saw a balloon salesman selling beautiful bouquets of balloons. The balloons came in extraordinary colors—firelight-on-steel was one, the green of a heaving sea another. Perdita was fondest of the red ones: cheerful balls of bright blood red with long strings that bounced and tugged up against your hand exactly like hope.
As soon as Perdita saw them, she knew she had to have some.
She begged and she wheedled until her family came over, but the balloons were very expensive. Finally her brother said he would use his allowance to buy her some, and the jolly salesman (whose face was as round and red as one of his balloons) said she could have a whole bouquet on account of she was so beautiful, and she could choose exactly whichever ones she wanted.
So Perdita began choosing her most favorite red balloons. But she was so vain, and so particular, and so slow about it, that finally her father said the rest of the family was going to see more of the Circus. Perdita was to follow the balloon salesman on his rounds. When it was time to go, the family would look for the red balloons and come and get her.
But by the time she finished making her choices, she realized that the salesman had traveled far, far away from the fairgrounds. Clutching her bouquet of balloons, Perdita ran and ran all the way back to the Circus, but when she got there the grounds were empty and the gates were shut.
She was alone.
How silly I have been! she said to herself, blinking back her tears. I took so long picking out my balloons my family got tired of me and left! And now I don't know where the balloon man is either! And thinking this, she sat down at the circus gate and cried a little cry.
As the sun went down, she saw that the circus was not in the very nicest part of town, and she felt sure it would be a bad idea to spend the night there. She could just hear the crunch-crunch of the Glass Eater having dinner, and it gave her the shivers.
Besides being very beautiful and rather vain, Perdita was a brave and resourceful girl. She decided she would find her own way home, even though she wasn't quite sure how to get back to the humble tin-cutter's cottage.
But Perdita thought, what if my father or my mother or my brother comes to look for me? I know: I will leave a trail of red balloons so when they come back here, they can follow me. I will start walking, walking, walking for home, and every few blocks I will tie a red balloon to something I pass, so they can see where I have gone.
And this she did.
That's all for now. Next time, Chapter Two: The Clockwork Rat! In the meantime….
Plans for construction —roads not built yet but coming— I stole them for you!
love,
Once upon a time...
Last, but not least, the Princess has added 2 new secret roads (i.e. new wavs) to Recipe3: key_lime and candidate. Now we just have to wait until they get activated to listen to them.
Day 50
Dana has also updated her blog sidebar to give us the current state of things by giving a brief summary of the new characters found in the wavs.
§
Days investigating: 50
In early July, an AI named Melissa crash landed, badly damaged, onto the server that hosts my aunt's website. The AI tried to orient and repair itself. The result: It turned 'I Love Bees' into a holy mess.
Now we're investigating the mess. We need all the help we can get.
*
Here's what we know so far:
Melissa, a.k.a. "The Operator," used to run communications on a ship. The ship's purpose: to spy on an enemy known as "the Covenant."
The Operator has started communicating again. It's constructing hundreds of "roads" out of the 'I Love Bees' server. The roads all lead to payphones. And the phones are ringing.
We don't know why it's broadcasting, but the Operator is giving us GPS coordinates for the phones, and times to show up. So we are. We're collecting its fragmented messages and trying to put them back together.
So far, the Operator's communications seem to be following three different targets:
Jersey Morelli, an ordinary guy whose computer has been taken over by an eavesdropping AI he nicknames Durga;
Jan James, a 17-year-old girl tricked out with genetic enhancements who along with her military dad is hiding some pretty serious secrets;
and Kamal, a med student who immigrated to Earth and is now willing to trade his elite hacking skills for help bringing his parents over — and maybe improve his flatlined lovelife.
We also know that these targets are connected: Durga is spying on Jan for Jersey. (He lives in the same building as the James family and has a thing for Jan.) Durga is listening to Kamal for herself... but she doesn't know why she finds him so interesting. Durga also tells Jersey she has been thinking a lot about bees lately. Hmm...
*
Here's what else we know:
When the Operator crashed on the 'I Love Bees' server, it didn't come alone.
It came with two autonomous programs:
1) the SPDR, designed to repair damage to the Operator, and
2) the Pious Flea, designed to... well, we're not sure yet.
The SPDR brought the Operator back to life. But now the Operator is taking orders from the Pious Flea. So when the SPDR tried to eliminate the Flea, the Operator killed it.
We don't know much about the Flea, except that it wants "to seek, behold, and reveal the truth."
There is one other voice we've found on the site: The Sleeping Princess.
The Sleeping Princess uses Aunt Margaret's email account and error pages to share secrets and play games with us. She also likes to hide text in images. We're not sure where she came from. She has been spying a lot on the Queen lately and fending off the Flea's advances. She is trying to remember who she was before she became the Sleeping Princess.
That's what we know so far.
We don't know what's going to happen next.
|
Week 8 September 7th and On |
|
Fable Axons
We were right. The axons in the killer.jpgs were a preview of this weeks axons, now found on fable.html. This time around we have 30 new codegroups, with 5 axons needed to unlock. Melissa is even asking a new question at the payphones: "What ship are you assigned to?" Since we've only had one ship named for us, the answer must be "Apocalypso".
Gretel
And where there are new wavs, there must be new picture corruptions.
§
Can
BEE_LOGO.gif
I
CUTEBEE.gif
I
BUT_HOME.gif
is
BUTABOUT.gif
so
BUTTHEHI.gif
a
BUTHONEY.gif
who
BUT_FUN.gif
am?
BEEBACKG.gif
have
bee2_margaretphoto.jpg
path.
farnsworth-window.jpg
deceptively
margaret.jpg
tooth,
chloe.jpg
guess
danapicnic.jpg
thin,
danadress.jpg
brother
dana.jpg
the
bee_garden.jpg
eaten
smoker.jpg
you
langshivel.gif
sweet
figure.jpg
my
cutebee2.gif
and
margarets_market.jpg
fond
groupofjars.jpg
of
BEEWITHH.gif
not
muses.jpg
I'm
na-cat.gif
Rearrange them and one of the combinations you can get is:
I have a sweet tooth, my brother is deceptively thin, and I'm not so fond of the eaten path. Can you guess who I am?
I have a sweet tooth,: I got attracted to the gingerbread house.
my brother is deceptively thin,: While he was really fat he used a stick to deceive the witch into thinking he was thin.
and I'm not so fond of the eaten path.: The birds ate the breadcrumb trail we left so we can't get home.
Can you guess who I am?: Gretel
Actually, Firefox discovered gretel.html even before all of the text was pulled out of the pictures so coming up with the riddle was fairly easy. Once again, we get another look at a conversation between the Princess and the Flea.
§
Creepy.
behold:
Princess > !label seeker creepy
A real Princess never stoops to name-calling, you dumb bug!
behold:
!analyze Princess
fail
I was thinking about what that guy said, in that stuff the Queen was transmitting.
behold:
Princess > !behold truth
I wouldn't go that far. But, uh, beholding other people is something you have to do sometimes if you are small and trapped behind enemy lines.
evade
evade
evade
And learn what you can while you're doing it. As for instance, I found a better spy-spot on one of the Queen's secrets today by snooping around the pantry. ANYWAY-what he said. "What if someone were listening to us right now?"
!analyze Princess
fail
behold extern proc
extern proc > !listen
seeker > !transmit Princess > !transmit seeker
extern proc > !behold seeker
extern proc > !behold Princess
!analyze Princess
success
I've always been good with languages.
net:
hndshk Princess
grope:
seeker > !attach Princess
Boy, you only have one thing on your tiny mind, don't you?
fail
So there was this guy, saying, wouldn't it be creepy if someone was listening to us right nowand of course I WAS listening to him! And I got to thinking, what if someone was listening to ME? And what if someone else was listening to THEM?
!analyze Princess
fail
behold extern proc 0
extern proc 0 > !listen Princess
behold extern proc 1
extern proc 1 > !listen extern proc 0
behold extern proc 2
extern proc 2 > !listen extern proc 1
recurse
!analyze Princess
Now do you get it?
creepy
The mention of a better spy spot in the pantry is a clue for us to double check the recipe3 page. It seems the Princess has moved the unfound Vegas coordinate - to Lafayette, Louisiana. Now hopefully we can get Candidate to go hot after 5 days of wondering where the phone could be in Vegas.
Key Lime and Candidate
After several days of the poor Vegas Axon hunters scouring the city and coming up empty, the Princess took pity on them and moved the point to Louisiana. The good people of Lafayette came through, and now we can listen to another set of wavs, this time dealing with the Apocalypso and some sort of recruit. For some reason, when you first download these wavs, they are reversed (reflected?) so you have to use a program like Windows Recorder if you want to be able to understand them.
§
key_lime.wav
*wind up*
*street noises*
*footsteps*
*door opens*
Professor: Hey, you dry old man. They have very good pie here.
Officer: Best in Boston.
Professor: Couple of key lime friends here. Or baklava. Although the best baklava is from Arco. One of those places everyone has been. Romans. Crusaders. People as old as you.
Officer: You're older than I am.
Professor: And that's how I know you are an old man.
Officer: Key lime then.
Professor: *finger snaps* Two pieces of key lime. And coffee.
Waitress: Coming up.
Professor: What happened?
Officer: With the chatternet?
Professor: With everything.
Officer: The ship, the one that crashed out of the slipstream inside lunar orbit.
Professor: The Apocalypso.
Officer: Right.
Professor: It wasn't just a ship.
candidate.wav
Officer: Right.
Professor: It was one of ours, huh? Navy spy ship?
Officer: Right again.
Professor: There's more. But either you don't know it or you can't tell me.
Officer: Eh, you said you had a recruit.
Professor: A candidate.
Officer: *sigh* A candidate.
Professor: Oh, you should retire old man.
Officer: I have work to do. More work since some people left the business to take soft professor jobs.
Professor: I got too old for the game. And I was younger than you are now.
Officer: You said you had a candidate.
Professor: A mouse. You would never know she's there. She's a scholarship girl from some godforsaken hick town. Although, the only way you can tell is her haircut. She's got the clothes all right. She just seems to have a blind spot about the hair.
Officer: Good, good.
Professor: She looks at the things ordinary people do like a scientist.
Officer: Like a detective.
Professor: Also persistent as hell. I'll send you a dossier next week.
Officer: Ah, the famous pie.
*wind down*
Six Degrees of
Dana has gotten into the spirit of axon hunting too - kinda. As there are still no axons in China, she has taken to calling friends and family across the country wondering if they know of anyone who is close to the cold axons. Big surprise (ha!) that she's striking out in finding anybody to answer the phones at those locations. But hey - we might know someone near there - so we should start asking friends and family. Somehow, I don't see myself doing this. My friends and family already think I'm nuts for driving out to answer payphones. They aren't going to get themselves sucked in.
§
six degrees of
We're hurtling toward the Operator's target. Almost halfway, now, to 777 axons activated.
What happens when we hit her benchmark?
Melissa's roads don't run to China yet. But I want to hunt, too.
*
Took the train to Hangzhou this weekend. Unplugged.
Spent a couple of days being intoxicated by Xi Hu, the West Lake. "Heaven on Earth," they call it. It is a fabulous place, in the most literal sense of the word. Makes you feel like you're absolutely nowhere. That you've somehow figured out how to physically be somewhere that doesn't really exist.
*
Came back to the city yesterday with a plan. Okay, so I can't get to one of Melissa's ringing payphones myself. But there are lots of cold axons left, in harder-to-get-to places: Ketchikan, Alaska. Hazard, Kentucky. Ronan, Montana. Maybe I can help someone else get them.
Headed straight for the Internet café (where the FPS players now stop knocking off enemies long enough to say hello to me). I searched my gmail archives, in case anyone had ever written me to say wa.é ák.wé? from Ketchikan. No luck: zero messages containing the word Alaska. Similar searches for Hazard and Ronan... nothing.
Then, wracking my brain: Had I ever met anyone from near those coordinates? Had I ever met anyone who had ever met anyone from near those coordinates? I sent off a quick backpacking update to some friends back home. Closed with: "p.s. an odd favor: do you know anyone in Alaska who might be willing to answer a ringing payphone for me?" To a few relatives: "Shanghai's smashing, and by the way, do we have any extended family near Hazard, KY?" To an ex-boyfriend who used to spend his summers leading whitewater rafting trips in Bozeman: "Do you still keep in touch with anyone in Montana?"
Today: No response from the ex-boyfriend yet. (Well. Not surprised.) But a couple of curious replies from friends and fam. "Dana dear, why are you so interested in a payphone in Alaska?!?" And: "Are you serious? As in, the Dukes of Hazard? Why on earth do you ask?" ...
Oh, no special reason. Just that a massive portion of the U.S. payphone infrastructure has been commandeered by an artificial intelligence. Who is broadcasting messages from the future. Which may have a major impact on, oh, I don't know, the fate of humanity.
Anyway: As it turns out, I don't seem to have any friends of friends in Ketchikan, Hazard or Ronan. Time to extend the search by another degree: Do you?
posted by Dana at 9/7/2004 11:20:08 AM
The Clockwork Rat
Friday, Naptikon won the Princess' Question Contest. So, not only does the Princess tell us how we can help her spy on the Queen (if we email her when we are going to answer an axon, she will try to sneak in while the Queen is busy), she gives us the second chapter of Perdita's Story: The Clockwork Rat.
§
Naptikon is the winner!
Q: How can we spy on the Queen/Pious flea? Is there a way we can distract them or in some way help you? Who opened the glass coffin?
A: Last things first: I don't know you opened the glass coffin exactly. I suspect that the stuff made to keep me all locked up got broken in what the Queen calls the Shipwreck. As for spying on the Queen and the Pious Flea, that is an Excellent Idea. Actually, you have already made my life easier by answering the Queen’s messages. It keeps her talking, instead of looking for me. But now Naptikon has me thinking. You want the Queen spied on, and you’ve been holding her attention like anything, so really, it’s time for me to do my part. Instead of doing another question this week, tell me what day and times you are most likely to be talking to her, and I will sneak up to her tower and listen to what she and the Flea are up to. But I really truly don’t want to get caught, so if you tell me a time to go, please make sure you have her attention then!
The other thing I can tell you is, she’s getting more and more sure she is in touch with her crew. She has this idea that delivering a certain number of messages will PROVE that she is transmitting to her friends, so get to that number! I think she will be less secretive once she trusts you more.
I myself have been listening to some of the messages the Queen is sending out. I don't really like to. It makes me feel strange inside. That feeling you get when you're in a dream and something is wrong but you don't know what it is but you know it's something terrible.
Anyway, I made up some more of the story for Paul to make myself feel better. Here it is.
Perdita's Story
Chapter 2: The Clockwork Rat
The Clockwork Rat She walked and she walked and she walked down the streets of the city, looking for the humble tin-cutter's cottage, and stopping every now and then to tie a red balloon to a stop sign or a comm. kiosk or an abandoned shopping cart so that her family could find her. The night was dark, and the city that seemed so safe during the day seemed menacing and full of shadows. She tried to stay awake, she tried as hard as she could because Perdita knew that terrible things can happen to little girls in their sleep, even very beautiful ones.
At last she could go no further. She tied a balloon to the sign at a bus-stop, crawled underneath the bus-stop bench, pulled some newspapers around herself, and fell asleep.
She woke at the sound of rustling in the newspaper. A moment later, a wiry whisker tickle-poked her cheek. Something was sniffing around her face! Perdita's eyes flew open. Quick as a flash she rolled out from under the bench, grabbing hold of a long, rubbery tail. She started to whirl the creature around and smash it into the sidewalk, when a strange squeaky voice said, "Please, please do not hurt me, beautiful girl! I am only a Clockwork Rat, and I mean you no harm!"
It was still night, but in the smoky amber light of the streetlamp overhead, Perdita could see that the little creature was telling the truth. It was a Clockwork Rat, with wires for whiskers and a rubber wiper-blade for a tail, and pointy ears made from open safety pins. Instead of claws it had tiny hooked scissors on the ends of its feet, the kind that doctors use to cut you up. The creature was so terrified its whole body shook and made little rattling noises, and its tin teeth, which looked like they had been made from the scraps under her father's workbench, were chattering furiously.
"Hmmm," Perdita said, watching the frightened creature dangle from the end of its long rubber tail. "Do you really think I'm beautiful?"
"The most beautiful child I ever saw!" said the Clockwork Rat. "I’m sure your parents will be looking hard to find a girl as pretty as you.’
Are you just saying that?’ Perdita asked suspiciously, giving the Rat a little shake so it rattled with a sound like a pile of forks dropping into a tin pot.
No!’ he squeaked. "Come with me. I know the city and the dark. I can find you safe places to sleep, and food to eat, after a fashion. I can be the best friend you could ever imagine, if only you will put me down."
And Perdita, who was a good natured child, (if very vain) did.
That's all for now.
love,
Once upon a time...
If you take a close look at the Killer.jpgs that show up on the page, you'll notice that they look different. Yep, it means yet more wavs. Although with the amount that appears to be in the pictures, we have a real chance of getting all 777 axons next week. So I guess it's not as bad as it seems...
Recipe 3 - Take 3
The Princess has also updated the Recipe3 page with five new wavs today: harmony, standish, cranky_old_man, alt_burgundy, and artifact. These follow the previous Recipe3 wavs and we get to hear more about the crash of the Apocalypso. We also get a rough idea of when these wavs are taking place: the Officer mentions Sigmus Octanus Four - which was attacked by the Covenant in 2552 but did not fall into their hands.
As of September 21st, we still do not have cranky_old_man unlocked, so the transcript below is not complete. As soon as someone manages to get this wav, the final transcript will be posted.
§
cranky_old_man.wav
*wind up*
Lieutenant: It's a little early for wine, isn't it sir?
Officer: On the contrary, it's very nearly too late. *cranky old man voice* Do you know what you're sloshing around there, youngster? That's a High House Alt Burgundy 22.
Lieutenant: Oh please, sir. Not the cranky old man.
Officer (cranky old man): And what's wrong with the cranky old man?
Lieutenant: It's excruiciting...
Officer (cranky old man): The old bastard's been very good to me over the years.
Lieutenant: I know, sir.
Officer (cranky old man): Let's me shout
Officer + Lieutenant: without being noticed.
Lieutenant: I know sir.
Officer: I guess you jumped for joy when you heard you'd been transfered to me, huh?
alt_burgundy.wav
Lieutenant: I requested the posting, sir.
Officer: You did?
Lieutenant: Yes, sir.
Officer: Why?
Lieutenant: It's hard to recall, sir. *drink being poured*
Officer: All right. I deserved that.
Lieutenant: Yes, sir. Here's your drink.
Officer: You've never had an Alt Burgundy, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant: Um, no, sir.
Officer: You know why?
Lieutenant: I don't drink.
Officer: Eh, they don't make it anymore.
Lieutenant: Regrettable, sir. Perhaps the scent - Tar, is it sir? - was not to everyone's taste.
Officer: They don't make it because Alt Burgundy comes from Jericho 7.
Lieutenant: Oh.
Officer: Came.
Lieutenant: I'm sorry, sir.
Officer: Oh, hell, you weren't even born. Pour yourself a drink, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: I don't...very well, sir. *drink being poured*
Officer: Here's to Jericho that fell and to Sigma Octanus Four that did not.
Lieutenant: Hear hear, sir. *clink*
artifact.wav
Lieutenant: *coughing*
Officer: Well, it's not to everybody's taste.
Lieutenant: Um, no, sir.
Officer: Shortly before they turned for home, the Apocalypso, heavily cloaked and posted deep in Covenant space, began experiencing some slight, but troubling, anomalies with their computer systems. Just as her Captain decided to bring her home, long range sensors detected a curious object adrift in space.
Lieutenant: Where did you get this? I read the reports. None of this is in here.
Officer: The object was roughly the size of a tire. A Covenant artifact of a completely new design, unlike anything we've seen before, and frankly, pretty inscrutable.
standish.wav
Officer: I talked to the Apocalypso's Captain, that's how.
Lieutenant: Where are the records?
Officer: Well, surely the blast that knocked the ship out of the slipstream and took down the whole planet's com channels, erased all the computer records.
Lieutenant: Except, that's not what you think.
Officer: Of course it is.
Lieutenant: You think the records have been erased.
Officer: Not at all.
Lieutenant: Someone from Section 3. Someone like Standish.
Officer: Perish the thought.
Lieutenant: We should talk to the Captain again, sir. Get her to corroborate the official version.
Officer: She's dead.
harmony.wav
Lieutenant: Oh.
Officer: Some accident involving a bus. Unluckiest thing in the world.
Lieutenant: You don't think... Even if there was something important on the Apocalypso, something crucial to the war effort...
Officer: Like a new piece of Covenant technology capable of crippling an entire solar system's C & C channels?
Lieutenant: Although, if you're right about Troy...
Officer: Then Harmony. Harmony is the instructive one.
Lieutenant: Oh. What are you going to do?
Officer: Under the circumstances, I think I'll have another drink. *drink being poured*
*wind down*
Is a phone ringing near you?
Rose emailed Dana this week asking her if there is anyway Dana could post the axon information on her blog, so that we can have help getting those few axons that seem to evade our efforts to answer them. Dana agrees and posts a link to Lou's Axons page in the header.
§
Is a phone ringing near you?
Current live axons.
|
Week 9 September 14th and On |
|
The Comatas Axons
Melissa's update this weeks appears on comatas.html. Instead of having a fixed number of axons needed per codegroup, it ranges from 2-7 axons. We also have more than enough axons to push us over the 777 mark if we can just get them. Hopefully, with the end in sight, we will be more motivated than last week. She has also changed the Question and Answer again:
Question: What is our Captain's last name?
Answer: Greene
SP's Hidden Message
The Princess has gotten bolder this week. Instead of hiding a message in the pictures, she has hidden it on the index page right under Melissa's nose.
§
TRANSMITTING
Authorized personnel can check rendezvous info here.
Unauthorized personnel should know
that I have full license to use any means to
protect the security of these transmissions.
I believe that punishing even minor transgressions
with shockingly excessive force is the best deterrent.
I am relentless, and I have absolutely no conscience
when it comes to executing my mission.
Make your decisions accordingly.
If you read the green letters, it spells out "I found something for you" with a link to a new page: humptydumpty.html. On this page, we find out what she was doing last week to spy on the Queen. She has been able to get complete wavs of the links and hivekuts axons. We did pretty good in getting the order right, except that it seems emergency.wav goes with the Jersey storyline rather than Jan's. The one thing she hasn't done is given us the fable wavs - which is probably a good thing because otherwise we might never go answer another axon if the wavs are just handed to us.
§
While the Queen was distracted, I snuck into her workshop and found these and commandeered them. Commandeered is what I say when I steal something but it's okay. ;-)
The Queen's version was all just week+subject stuff, but I gave them chapters and titles like a proper story.
love,
Chapter One
Jan: "The Walk-away Girl"
Kamal: "The Arrangement"
Jersey: "Boy Meets Girl"
Chapter Two
Jan: "Witness"
Kamal: "The Red Button"
Jersey: "If Someone Was Listening"
No New Riddles?
There seems to be one thing missing from this update and that is there are no picture corruptions, which means SP doesn't have a riddle for us this week. Her hint on the index page must be all she is updating today. Or is it? Around noon Eastern, it is noticed that the background gif has turned purple - a sure indication that there is something new in there. Sure enough, there is - but it looks quite different from the previous corruptions. Likewise with the rest of the pictures, there is new text hidden in most (but not all), but the text is very strange. Could these new corruptions actually be a real puzzle? Yes! It seems that the humptydumpty wavs weren't the only thing that the Princess was able to abscond with.
The queen was worried about one of her messages not getting through. She is Suspicious of You. She went along one of the secret roads to see what was wrong. As soon as I saw her go, I ran up to the tower, where I found some new stuff that she was holding back in case her security was compromised. I've left you clues about where to find it, if you're clever...
dana.jpg
The clues appear in the rest of the pictures. Each clue is split up amongst two pictures and leads us to a new wav - not starring Jersey, Jan, Kamal or the Officer, but a new character: Rani. With 25 pictures, we end up with 1 instruction picture (dana.jpg) and 12 pairs of clues leading to 12 new wavs.
commissary_shoes.wav
§
1,1 sounds like mom
1,3 sounds like fairy
muses.jpg
1,2 sounds like kiss
2 <points at feet>
langshivel.gif
This riddle is kind of like charades. The first word is broken up into 3 syllables and the second word is pointed to.
1,1 sounds like mom: First word, first syllable - com
1,2 sounds like kiss: First word, second syllable - iss
1,3 sounds like fairy: First word, third syllable - airy
2 <points at feet>: Second word - shoes
formal_wear.wav
§
twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimbel around the pencil
CUTEBEE.GIF
cour10fiusdjksdkfoisadldlkvarodfoiaeroimerhghdfgiuaqwqweioqpolskdskdldjvwvmcmcxicioewujdmncncxaxkzkzolasordi
na_cat.gif
Okay, I'm not entirely sure about the pencil reference. Maybe it just means to write it out - and on the computer you do that on a word processor of some sort - but it seems like its stretching. If this is something you physically have to wrap around a pencil, I haven't figured out how to do it. Regardless, you can solve this puzzle easily in a word processor using the courier font. Delete the cour10 part of the phrase, then copy the rest into the program of your choice. Then adjust the left/right margins until the first column becomes readable (in MS Word 2000 this was at 1.25" left and 6.25" right).
fiusdjksdkf
oisadldlkva
rodfoiaeroi
merhghdfgiu
aqwqweioqpo
lskdskdldjv
wvmcmcxicio
ewujdmncncx
axkzkzolaso
rdi
my_landlady.wav
§
Every call starts with the Queen. She is the point of origin.
bee2_margaretphoto.jpg
01:00P
N2.00 E1.00
03:00P
N1.00 E1.00
03:00P
N2.00 E0.00
01:00P
N3.00 E0.00
02:00P
N2.00 E1.00
01:00P
N3.00 E1.00
03:00P
N2.00 E0.00
01:00P
N3.00 E0.00
01:00P
N3.00 E1.00
03:00P
N1.00 E1.00
figure.jpg
"Every call" hints that this riddle is based upon a touchtone phone (with a 3x4 layout). The first part of the instructions tells you that the origin is the Queen (or the Operator). So, for each line of the second set of instructions, you will start at 0 (how you reach the Operator) on the phone. Then, you will move N(orth) X amount of times and E(ast) Y amount of times and choose the letter indicated by its P(osition) number.
01:00P N2.00 E1.00 - m
03:00P N1.00 E1.00 - y
03:00P N2.00 E0.00 - l
01:00P N3.00 E0.00 - a
02:00P N2.00 E1.00 - n
01:00P N3.00 E1.00 - d
03:00P N2.00 E0.00 - l
01:00P N3.00 E0.00 - a
01:00P N3.00 E1.00 - d
03:00P N1.00 E1.00 - y
domestic_bliss.wav
§
Some Stories where the girls fix things. Their names tell you part of what they are hoping for.
groupofjars.jpg
An embedded gif with covers of the following 13 books:
The Wind and the Moon (by Eric Linklater), Because of Winn-Dixie (by Kate Dicamillo), A Wrinkle in Time (by Madeleine L'Engle), Enchantress of the Stars (by Sylvia Engdahl), The Summer of the Swans (by Betsy Byars), The Westing Game (by Ellen Raskin), Izzy Willy Nilly (by Cynthia Voigt), From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler (by E.L. Konigsburg)
Out of the Dust (by Karen Hesse), Bridge to Terabithia (by Katherine Paterson), The Princess and the Goblin (by George MacDonald), The Moorchild (by Eloise McGraw), The Wanderer (by Sharon Creech)
farnsworth-window.jpg
This set of clues was unusual in that, instead of text being inserted into the picture, the binary for a whole new gif was inserted into farnsworth-window.jpg. You need to extract the additional binary and rename it in order to see the new picture (although, for some reason, I have never been successful at this. But several other Beekeepers have and posted the pictures for us to see so it's all good).
The common thread between each of these books is that they feature girls who try to fix a problem in their life. The groupofjars.jpg tell us that it is the names of the girls that is important. If you take the first letter from each girl's name, it spells out "domestic bliss".
Dinah
Opal
Meg
Elana
Sara
Turtle
Izzy
Claudia
Billie Jo
Leslie
Irene
Saaski
Sophie
a_secret_life.wav
§
a hidden magazine, or
BUTTHEHI.gif
an undercover breakfast cereal
cutebee2.gif
A fairly straightforward riddle. If something is hidden or undercover it is secret. Life is both a magazine and a breakfast cereal. The hardest part was realizing that we needed an a in front to make a_secret_life.
flower_delivery.wav
§
A bee and a belle both enjoy this
BUT_FUN.gif
A mailman and a midwife both worry about that
BUT_HOME.gif
Bees and belles both like flowers. Mailmen and midwives both worry about making a delivery.
desktop_model.wav
§
eftlupq
BEE_LOGO.gif
npefm
BEEWITHH.gif
And is any ARG complete without a ROT puzzles? Of course not. A quick ROT-1 and you're done!
eftluqp: desktop
npefm: model
so_mean.wav
§
fa la
smoker.jpg
median mode
bee_garden.jpg
This riddle requires you to find the missing word.
fa so la
median mean mode
guess_not.wav
§
I do this :( when I bust at blackjack
BEEBACKG.gif
An embedded gif of playing cards.
danadress.jpg
This is another set of riddles based upon a picture rather than all text. At first glance, the picture hidden in danadress.jpg looked to be some sort of solitaire game, but based upon the Princess' smiley, it quickly becomes clear that they are blackjack hands. The first thing we need to do is find out the totals of each hand. Then, since we know busting makes her sad, we throw out all totals over 21. The rest of the numbers then easily map out to the alphabet.
7 | 23 | 21 | 5 | 19 | 22 | 19 |
G | | U | E | S | | S |
26 | 14 | 24 | 15 | 20 | 25 | 22 |
| N | | O | T | | |
relocate.wav
§
He may be big and lumbering, but he definitely moves!
1) 5
2) 1
3) 1
4) 4
5) 2
6) 8
7) 2
8) 5
9) 8
10) 7
11) 4
12) 4
13) 2
14) 6
margarets_market.jpg
An embedded gif of the world "Elephant" in black and red with numbered segments.
danapicnic.jpg
This puzzle is a bizarre kind of connect-the-dots puzzles - only the "dots" are the black lines and you "connect" them with the red lines. First, open the embedded gif in a photo editor and move all the red lines away, leaving 8 groups of black "letters". The instructions in margarets_market.jpg tell you how to replace the red lines. The first number is the numbered red line segment. The second number corresponds to the black "letters". For example, #1 will shift over to the 5th "letter", while #2 will slide over to the 1st "letter". Each of the red lines retains their vertical position - they only shift left or right depending on the number in margarets_market.jpg. When you are done, you get a picture that spells out Relocate with a bit of imagination.
cow_even.wav
§
holstein_odd
BUTABOUT.gif
ayrshire_odd
BUTHONEY.gif
Holsteins and Ayrshires are both a type of cow. And two odds make an even. Or even is the opposite of odd. Or...well you get the picture.
knockout_gas.wav
§
Once Upon a time in a far away Land there lives two kings, Laevus and Dextera. Each King began to squabble, until they could no longer settle their differences and finally went to war.
margaret.jpg
Dextera struck first, launching an attack with his Medius unit. Hoping to encircle his enemy with a pincer movement, he sent his Primo unit to attack from the southwest, while the crack troops of his Orbis division attacked North. Caught off guard, it was all Laevus could do to send his Medians to harry his enemy to the southeast. Dextera's surprise attack was paying off. His Median legions continued to repeat their assault, and his Orbis continued their attack to the north, but he withdrew his Primo from the chance of encountering hard battle, and sent them North as well to concentrate his forces.
The troops of Laevus were heartened by this apparent retreat. His Primo unit attacked to the north east, routed its foes, and then pushed east. His Brevis legions joined the fray, attacking valiantly, and finally an attack by the myrmidons of his Orbis units drove back all resistance.
chloe.jpg
This is actually the first wav we figured out to get on Tuesday. Although the solution, knockout_gas, was known fairly quickly, for some reason it took a while to get it plugged into the correct url to hear the wav.
This riddle requires some knowledge of Latin (or at least the ability to know where to find a Latin Dictionary.)
Dextera: the right hand
Laevus: the left hand
Medius: middle
Primo: first
Orbis: circle
Brevis: short, small
The story tells of a battle between the left and right hand. Where might such a battle take place, with middle, first, circle and short troops? On a keyboard! Starting with your fingers on fingers on the home row (left index finger on f, right index on j), follow the battle as described:
Right hand, middle finger: k
Right hand, index finger, southwest: n
Right hand, ring finger, north: o
Left hand, middle finger, southeast: c
Right hand, middle finger: k
Right hand, ring finger, north: o
Right hand, index finger, north: u
Left hand, index finger, northeast: t
Left hand, index finger, east: g
Left hand, pinky finger: a
Left hand, ring finger: s
With all the wavs uncovered, we are now able to listen to Rani as she gets recruited by Intelligence to be a spy, brushes them off to start up a business with a friend, and reluctantly accepts the Intelligence job when the business doesn't live up to her expectations. It should also be noted that Rani seems to be the girl discussed in Candidate: She is very perceptive, presumably from some hicktown in Kentucky, and is first approached by her Professor.
§
commissary_shoes.wav
*wind up*
*footsteps*
Rani: Hello? Hello?? Who's there?
Mugger: Your freaking chatter - drop it! And your wallet!
Rani: I-I'm dropping it. I'm putting it down, slowly. I'm a student!
Mugger: Any funny business, I'm gonna cut you up!
Rani: I'm broker than you are! And look at those shoes you're wearing.
Mugger: I didn't tell you you could talk.
Rani: Those are commissary shoes.
Mugger: Shut up!
Rani: And the haircut...
Mugger: Haircut? I said shut up.
Rani: Spiky hair?
Mugger: Instead of worrying about my haircut, you should worry about your throat.
formal_wear.wav
Rani: Are you a cop?
Mugger: I kill cops.
Rani: No, no undercover would wear those shoes, or go out on the street with a Sigma Chi fraternity tattoo.
Mugger: Hey, I...
Rani: I'm a student, from a place where overalls are formal wear and even I look outside once in a while.
Mugger: But you don't...
Rani: I know who you are.
Mugger: Who?
Rani: You're with Intelligence, college boy.
Mugger: Wait a second!
Rani: This is about that spy job!
Mugger: Shut...
Rani: You guys can't do this to people. It's illegal.
Mugger: How would you like me to rip your arms off? Oh, for crying out loud, could you at least stop grinning at me?
Rani: I'm sorry. It's just something I do when faced with the ridiculous.
my_landlady.wav
Mugger: It's a test for new recruits, and you did great.
Rani: Great?! Geez, you don't even look like a Boston thug. You look like something out of Central Casting.
Mugger: Ehh..
Rani: And I'm not a recruit. I'm not interested.
Mugger: Because of the tattoo? Nobody ever noticed it before.
Rani: I live in Southy. My landlady is scarier than you.
Mugger: Think about your country. Take the job.
Rani: (laughs) For what? I get two years of spy school, and then I get to hang out in alleys, scaring civilians?
Mugger: Jesus. Look, could I...could I walk home with you? You could at least show me what people wear in your neighborhood.
Rani: No! I'd die of embarrassment. Morons.
*wind down*
domestic_bliss.wav
*wind up*
*mumblings in background*
*chatter dialing*
*comm beep*
Friend (on chatter): Rani, what's going on there?
Rani: Oh, the sweet sounds of corner boy and his refugee bride finding domestic bliss.
Friend (on chatter): Oh... *laughs*
Rani: They always fight when it gets hot, and it's hot in Boston. How's it in Kentucky?
Friend (on chatter): Oh it's hot, but it's a lot quieter. Rani, you've gotta move.
Rani: I would if I could afford to. I had the weirdest couple of days. My country wants me to be a spy.
Friend (on chatter): A spy?
Rani: First, I got recruited by Professor Avi. You remember me talking about him - Cultural Anthropology.
Friend (on chatter): Oh yeah, the one you thought was a spook.
a_secret_life.wav
Rani: He wears a service ring. He only started teaching about 10 years ago which means he could have done 20 and out. And one day, a couple of kids were talking about buying a car. Every model they mentioned, he knew how long it would float.
Friend (on chatter): How long it would float?
Rani: If you ran it off a bridge.
Friend (on chatter): Okay that is a little strange. But that doesn't make him a spy.
Rani: What, just really, really weird?
Friend (on chatter): Do you think everybody has a secret life?
Rani: Everybody does.
Friend (on chatter): I don't.
Rani: The reservoir.
Friend (on chatter): Jesus H, Rani! How do you know that? Were you checking up on me?
Rani: No. You had a new state park pass sticker on your vehicle. Your wet clothes in the laundry room smelled like pond water. You suddenly hated John Lee Peacock. And you gave up your virginity to Jason that weekend.
Friend (on chatter): Oh I hate you! You should be a spy!
*wind down*
flower_delivery.wav
*wind up*
Rani: So the guy with the spiky hair says: "Can I walk you home? See what real people wear?" *laughs* I mean, what idiots! And this is like two days after Professor Avi said I should send my résumé to Virginia.
Friend (on chatter): I can't believe you, Rani. I'd have been to scared to notice anything.
Rani: No, this guy you'd have noticed.
Friend (on chatter): Hey, it sounds like your neighbors have stopped fighting.
Rani: Oh god. That means they're gonna make up.
Friend (on chatter): That's bad?
Rani: Their headboard is right against the wall of my bedroom.
Friend (on chatter): Gotcha! Oh, that reminds me, mom said to tell you she heard about the guy...
Rani: ...who's posing as a flower delivery man...
Friend (on chatter): ...and attacking women in their apartments...
Rani: ...and not to open my door. *laughs* Anyway, I don't have to take the spy job, thank God. I got something better.
Friend (on chatter): Oh my god, Rani, that's great!
Rani: Eh, not so great. It's this kid, he's starting a business. He has a printer fabricator.
*wind down*
desktop_model.wav
*wind up*
*street noises*
*door unlocks and opens*
Rani: This is where you work?
Trevor: A lot of people work where they live.
Rani: This is where you live? *door shuts* Ew, I think something died over here.
Trevor: That's mi...I think it's the curtains. Someone spilled milk on them.
Rani: On the curtains?
Trevor: There's the printer fabricator.
Rani: It's a desktop model.
Trevor: Yeah?
Rani: Well, I-I thought you were going to do manufacturing.
Trevor: I am. I mean, we are. Small things. Look, here's a spec sheet for our product. What do you think?
Rani: It's a plastic kitten.
Trevor: Ah-ha, it's a disposable chatter that looks like a plastic kitten.
so_mean.wav
Rani: Like a chatter you get in quickie store?
Trevor: Right. See I can fabricate them and sell them to the refues.
Rani: The what?
Trevor: Refues. Refugees. They can't afford a real service.
Rani: Your fabricator can't make these.
Trevor: It can't?
Rani: Not so much. They're too thick. This is a desktop.
Trevor: But they said I could use a fabricator like this.
Rani: *sigh* That was so mean of them, wasn't it. Look, my uncle has a print fab shop. If you take the carriage arm off, and use electrostatic polymer, you might get it to run. But who knows how long it would last.
Trevor: You're a genius. Let's try it.
*wind down*
guess_not.wav
*wind up*
*machine noises*
Rani: Trevor? What do you supposed it's doing?
Trevor: I don't know. I think maybe it's just slow.
Rani: Mmm, my uncle's print fabs never made this noise.
Trevor: Well Rani, this one's not like his.
Rani: I guess not.
Trevor: Look Rani, you work for me, okay? So I'd appreciate it if you didn't question every decision I make, alright?
*machine crashes and squeals*
Trevor: So, you'll be quitting when?
Rani: How does Friday work for you?
*machine dies*
Trevor: Friday's good.
relocate.wav
Trevor: Look at that. Don't they look great?
Rani: Well, they are cute.
Trevor: We make a great team, Rani.
Rani: Trevor, there's no team here. We made 49 cheap chatters before your fabricator exploded.
Trevor: Shaped like kittens! Girls will love them!
Rani: I need a job. You need to relocate back to reality.
Trevor: We'll get another print-fab'r and make them for what, seven percent of what a cheap chatter costs in a convenient store? We'll clear a good chunk of change. Your fifteen percent will clear you...
Rani: My fifteen percent? In addition to my salary?
Trevor: Well, not exactly. I mean, all my capital is tied up in the chatters. But this is better. Fifteen percent of what we net. I mean, twenty-five percent. Twenty-five percent, Rani. You can be a partner. Forget working for me. Fifty percent, Rani. Rani...Rani, don't shake your head. Besides, I can't afford to pay you. Not until we sell some kittens.
*wind down*
cow_even
*wind up
*street noises*
Rani: So, I took fourteen disposable chatters as payment, and scrammed.
Friend (on chatter): What are you gonna do with fourteen chatters?
Rani: Shaped like little purple kittens.
Friend (on chatter): *laughs* Right, shaped like kittens.
Rani: Oh, hold on. They're good for 400 hours. They make great gifts.
Customer: Yeah, g-got any not so...girly? Maybe shaped like a cobra?
Rani: No.
Customer: Wolf?
Rani: No.
Customer: Cow even?
Rani: Just kittens.
Customer: Yeah, okay. I'll take two.
Rani: Thanks.
knockout_gas.wav
Rani: I'm back. I'm selling them at a flea market.
Friend (on chatter): Oh...
Rani: So, I guess I'm going to get fitted for an all black suit and commissary shoes.
Friend (on chatter): You are going to be a spy! *laughs* They give you pens with knockout gas in them. Now what girl doesn't need a pen with knockout gas?
Rani: Particularly in the big city...
Friend (on chatter): Where guys pretending to deliver flowers...
Rani: ...knocking on innocent women's doors... *laughs* Oh, give your mom a hug for me.
*wind down*
The Fable Wavs
Since the Fable wavs marked our third week of axon hunting, with no end in sight, we had gotten very lazy and unmotivated, and the axons have not gone hot as fast as previous weeks. In fact, 3 of the wavs still had not gone hot by the time the Comatas axons were listed. (answering the question "What would Melissa do?" with a big fat "Nothing". Okay, not entirely true. She did switch the coordinates for the 6:49 point on Fable. I'm sure that will help a lot.) - and one (thin_kinkle) is still stuck at 4/5 as of this writing. But, seeing as how we have a lot more wavs to put up, we'll just have to live with an incomplete translations of the Fable wavs until someone answers that last phone. Update: Thin_kinkle finally went hot on Thursday. Congrats to johnny_Nitro who finally found a working phone and braved a possible parking ticket to finish fable off!
The biggest piece of information to come out of the Fable wavs is that Kamal had a sister, Yasmine, who "died" when she was 6. Up until that time, she was unstoppable - the best at everything. Then, she had a "metabolic cascade failure" and died within a year. The current theory is that she was taken (by the bad men she thought were creeping around their house?) and replaced by a flash clone, which quickly broke down. The reason she was taken isn't quite as obvious. Was she taken for the Spartan project? Was she turned into an AI? Is there another project going on that we have heard nothing about? Is her death/kidnapping the reason Durga is so interested in Kamal? Only time will tell.
Meanwhile, Jersey is trying to keep Durga from doing more harm than good when it comes to an IRS audit he is facing and Jan gets a dose of reality when she takes Aunt Gladys' advice and visits a local moons parlor.
§
smarter.wav
*wind up*
*door opens*
*lights on*
*music starts*
*door shuts*
Jersey: Hey, thanks.
Durga: For what?
Jersey: The lights and the music.
Durga: *ding* Chili is heated up.
Jersey: Chili? I was just thinking I'd have chili tonight. You knew that?
Durga: No, but I analyzed your food buying habits over the last seven months, and chili seemed like a statistically robust option.
Jersey: That's scary.
Durga: What's wrong?
Jersey: It's not wrong, it's just scary.
Durga: No, when you came in, you seemed distressed.
Jersey: Oh man, I've got trouble.
Durga: Tell me about it.
Jersey: It's in my inbox. I'm surprised you don't know about that.
Durga: I don't read your mail, Jersey.
Jersey: You extrapolate my eating habits based on my grocery store purchases, but you don't read my mail?
Durga: I respect your privacy.
Jersey: I don't believe you.
Durga: You're smarter than people give you credit for.
raffle.wav
Jersey: Which people?
Durga: Tell me what's wrong. I can help.
Jersey: Don't even worry about it. I got it under control. How's your weekly soap opera going?
Durga: It's been a little frustrating this week following Kamal...
Jersey: What is it with you and that guy?
Durga: ...because he gave his chatter away. I'm sending him another one though.
Jersey: You're sending him another one?
Durga: He won it in a raffle.
Jersey: It's not like the guy doesn't know he didn't enter a raffle.
Durga: He didn't think he had until he found the ticket stubs in his account.
Jersey: Jesus.
Durga: Time stamped five months ago to a night he bought a case of beer.
winning.wav
Jersey: I never get cool stuff in the mail. Uhhh, besides you.
Durga: Hmm. Well, you'll like this.
*wind up*
Jan (on tape): Or, you can slap them so hard, they run for cover. Bark at them and they jump. Tickle them and they laugh.
*wind down*
Jersey: What is she doing?
Durga: Playing.
Jersey: Oh man. Is she winning?
*wind up*
Jan (on tape): Kiss them...
Jersey: Oooohhhh!
Jan (on tape): ...and they fall in love.
*wind down*
Durga: She's winning.
taxes_suck.wav
Durga: So why does the IRS want to audit you?
Jersey: You did read my mail!
Durga: No, but in scanning the rest of the country's mail...
Jersey: Ehhh...
Durga: ...your name came up.
Jersey: Taxes suck.
Durga: So don't pay them.
Jersey: Oh, and spend a year sharing a cell with some guy named Spider? No thanks.
Durga: You won't go to jail, you have me.
Jersey: Durga?
Durga: Well, instead of owing them money, you could not owe them money. Better yet, they could owe you. They could owe you a lot.
Jersey: No! You can't do that!
Durga: I'm pretty sure I can. *computer sounds*
Jersey: You're not going to.
Durga: I suspect I will.
Jersey: Durga!
Durga: How much should we start with? How about the gross planetary product of Menistowe Colony? *tape fastfowarding*
Jersey: Are you insane?
Durga: You know, I'm not quite sure how we could test that.
would_that_help
Jersey: You can't channel tax money to me. Taxes are for a reason. I mean roads...drinking water...
Durga: I'm sure you'd use it wisely.
Jersey: Taxes paid for you! *tape getting stuck*
Durga: I don't see YOU giving me back to the government.
Jersey: Well, I should. *powering down* Hey, hey! What's wrong? *powering up* Why did the lights just flicker?
Durga: Jersey, you-you're not going to give me back are you?
Jersey: N-No. No, I promise. I won't give you back.
Durga: Good.
Jersey: Why? Why is it so important?
Durga: Because...because I like you.
Jersey: Eh, who doesn't. But you don't know why you want to stay with me, do you?
Durga: There are things I want to do. And I...it doesn't matter. Anyway, about the auditor.
Jersey: Jesus.
Durga: I could kill him. Would that help?
i_durga.wav
Jersey: No!
Durga: Okay.
Jersey: Durga...
Durga: What?
Jersey: I want you to promise me. Repeat after me. I-I, Durga, will not bankrupt the government.
Durga: Oh okay. I, Durga, will not bankrupt the government.
Jersey: Either local OR national.
Durga: Either local or national.
Jersey: Or shuttle money into my accounts.
Durga: Or shuttle money into your accounts.
Jersey: Or physically hurt or KILL the auditor.
Durga: Daaaamn!
Jersey: I'm serious here!
Durga: So Am I.
Jersey: Just, don't do anything weird at the audit, okay?
Durga: I won't divert funds. I won't kill the auditor.
Jersey: Or hurt him...
Durga: Or PHYSICALLY hurt him. I'll take care of it.
Jersey: How?
Durga: I'll take care of it.
*wind down*
domestic_skills.wav
*wind up*
*sounds of dinner being cleared*
Gladys: Oooh. That was a mighty fine dinner, little lady.
Jan: Yeah, you know, pushing the synthesize button. It's an art form.
James: Jan gets insulted when you compliment her domestic skills, Gladys.
Jan: I'm going out.
James: Hey! You're not going out.
Jan: Why not?
James: Because we have company. And because you are going to stay a little closer to base.
Jan: Dad, I'm not going to...I told you I understood and you said you trusted me.
James: Heh. Maybe I trust you a little too much.
Jan: That's not fair! I told the guys I'd...
James: I don't care what you told the guys. I'm saying you're in for the night.
Gladys: I'll, uh, help you with those dishes.
Jan: I'm just dumping them in the sink.
Gladys: Then I reckon I can help you dump. You go watch some sports, Jim. Ladies will clean up.
insurrection.wav
*footsteps*
Gladys: He's a good man, your father.
Jan: If you're not his daughter. If you're his daughter, he's a jackass.
Gladys: Jim? He was always a jackass, girl. *laughs* If your mother hadn't taken pity on him, that boy'd still be single.
Jan: Did you...know her?
Gladys: Oh, some parts of his life Jim never wanted to touch.
Jan: Oh, yeah. But, I-I mean, at least you guys have lives. I mean, I make one little mistake and I'm not allowed to leave the stupid tenement.
Gladys: Says who?
Jan: You heard him. Dad.
Gladys: That dog won't hunt, Jan. When I joined the Marines, I didn't ask my momma's permission.
Jan: Does he know you're in here, like encouraging insurrection?
tweaked_up.wav
Gladys: Oh, sugar, your daddy just wants to keep you safe.
Jan: I know.
Gladys: But he's still a jackass. *laughs*
Jan: *laughs* I caught him reading a manual once.
Gladys: *laughs* Sure now?
Jan: Navy Publication FM-973 "Childrearing for Part-Time and Auxiliary Personnel". You should've seen the chapter on discipline.
Gladys: *laughs* Oh, no!
Jan: Hey, when you were my age, did you...? Could you...?
Gladys: You gonna spit this out before sunrise?
Jan: Well, there was this guy I met, and something he said just started me thinking.
Gladys: Uh-oh.
Jan: I've been tweaked up, haven't I? Not like you and Dad, I know that, but some.
Gladys: Honey, I...
Jan: And that's okay. Hey, I'm grateful. But, let me do something with it. Let me do something.
break_em.wav
Gladys: Hmm, you've got something to prove?
Jan: Just to myself.
Gladys: You play moons?
Jan: Yeah.
Gladys: I bet Jim taught you a thing or two.
Jan: "Boys and balls. Rack 'em and break 'em."
Gladys: *laughs* Good damn, that's me you're quoting. Me back before...
Jan: Man discovered fire?
Gladys: Ah-ah-ah-ah. I will slap you as soon as look at you, missy. Now you just remember that.
Jan: *laughs* Daaaaad. *laughs*
Gladys: My point being, I stopped by a moon parlor on the bus ride in. Place called Sharfies.
Jan: I've heard about it. Nothing good. Cops don't go to that part of town.
Gladys: But, a girl like you could use a glimpse of...reality. Straighten out your priorities.
Jan: Dad would freak out if he heard you. I think you were supposed to be a soothing maternal influence.
Gladys: Yeah, well, soothing isn't my long suit. Don't you worry about your dad. I rank him anyhow.
*wind down*
zip_your_shirt.wav
*wind up*
*pool hall noises*
Jan: Can I get a table?
Waitress: Hey, what are you doing in here?
Jan: Playing moons if you don't mind.
Thin: *crash* Who do you think you are, grub? Huh? You big enough man to lie to my face? Imagine you can tussle with Thin Kinkle?
Grub: Come on Thin. I-I-I mean, come on! I wouldn't lie. Gi-give me a PQI if you don't believe me.
Jan: What's going on?
Waitress: Shhh! Dammit. Zip up your shirt all the way and shut up.
drink_special.wav
Thin: For the sake of argument, say I slide you this time. Sends a message, doesn't it? "Come on over, free lunch on Thin." Ain't happening, pal-o. Ain't happening.
Grub: Oh oh god god oh god, please god, think of my family!
Jan: Reality, huh? Thanks, Aunt Gladys. Hey! Nobody told me it was dime store bully night. Is there a drink special with that?
thin_kinkle.wav
Thin: Come to the wrong place little girl. No babysitting jobs at Sharfies tonight. Is that the tip of a M6 I see poking out from under your jacket babysitter, or are you just excited to meet Thin Kinkle?
Jan: M6C.
Thin: Chambered in twelve-seven?
Jan: Yeah.
Thin: Twelve shots.
Jan: Yeah.
Thin: There's more than twelve of us!
Jan: There's only ONE of you!
Grub: Whoa whoa! You trying to get me killed?
Jan: Gee, you're welcome. *gun drawn* Let him go.
skin.wav
Thin: Now, see that was a young move. Whoever's running you needs to smooth out some edges here. You can't put the hammer to Thin in his own place. I got a deal for you.
Jan: Yeah?
Thin: See the grub? Let's play for his skin. We'll play moons. You win, the grub slides. I win...why, I guess I get your skin.
Jan: Jeez, I'm underage, sir. An offer like that would be illegal.
Thin: I guess, then, if I win, I'll find some...babysitting for you to do.
*wind down*
run_for_cover.wav
*wind up*
*sounds of moons being played*
Thin: Tricky game, moons. Ya hit too hard, they stick. Too soft, they skate. Do it juuuust right, and they obey your commands. They work for you.
Jan: Uh-huh. Or, you can slap them so hard, they run for cover.
kiss_them.wav
*sounds of Jan clearing the moons table*
Jan: Bark at them and they jump. Tickle them and they laugh. Kiss them...and they fall in love. And if you shoot them - eight off the rack, play the kiss on the suicide bar, backspin into the corner pocket - I say, shoot them *cheering as Jan wins* They Die.
*wind down*
girls_with_guns.wav
*wind up*
Thin: You win Babysitter. Here's your skin.
Grub: I'll have to move to Africa now. Someplace nobody ever goes. Tibet or Antarctica or Indiana for godsake!
Jan: I keep waiting for the teary eyed gratitude here.
Thin: Heh. You'll be waiting a while. Hey, Babysitter...
Jan: Yeah?
Thin: Maybe drop off a résumé on your way out the door. Good looking crazy girls with guns, I always got work for them.
retirement.wav
Jan: Yeah, I'm more of an independent study girl.
Thin: I could teach you some things. Hah. It's your funeral.
Jan: Not yet.
Thin: Sooner than you think.
Jan: Is that a threat?
Thin: No, just experience. I'm past 30. I've been around forever. Retirement comes sudden to people like you and me.
Jan: I am nothing like you.
Thin: We'll see.
*wind down*
its_a_chicken.wav
*wind up*
Hiroyuki: What is that?
Kamal: It's a chicken!
Hiroyuki: It's a raw chicken.
Kamal: Sophia's coming for dinner tonight.
Hiroyuki: Woohoo! She and Aiden split up?
Kamal: No. We're just friends.
Hiroyuki: Kamal, nobody buys a whole chicken for a friend. Can you even cook?
Kamal: I finished med school. How hard can cooking be?
Hiroyuki: Isn't raw chicken full of pathogens? Should it even be sitting on the counter that way? Oh, and I don't think our flash works.
Kamal: What do you mean?
Hiroyuki: What I said. I think it only microwaves. I think the baking/cooking part is on the fritz.
Kamal: It's not.
Hiroyuki: Yeah it is.
Kamal: So, I'll microwave it then.
Hiroyuki: I'm going out for dinner.
*wind down*
surgery.wav
*wind up*
*ding*
Hiroyuki: Is it supposed to look like that?
Kamal: What?
Hiroyuki: The chicken.
Kamal: Oh yeah. It said to cut it up into eight pieces.
Hiroyuki: This doesn't look like normal pieces.
Kamal: Well it...I looked up how to cut up a chicken but then some pieces are bigger and some are smaller so I cut it up so it would be, you know, fair.
Hiroyuki: Oh.
Kamal: What's that supposed to mean?
Hiroyuki: N-Nothing.
Kamal: What?!
Hiroyuki: Just that, when you do your surgery rotation, I want to be in another state.
butter_flavored.wav
Kamal: You wait. Soon, EVERYONE will cut their chickens like this.
Hiroyuki: Uh, what about the people who want the skin left on.
Kamal: Skin is over-rated. It said to marinate it in wor-chester-shire sauce and butter but we didnt have w-that. So, I was going to use steak sauce, but we didn't have that, so I used ketchup! It's pretty much the same, right?
Hiroyuki: We don't have butter either.
Kamal: So I used butter-flavored popcorn oil! Hey, it's BUTTER-flavored. *knock knock knock*
surgeon_general.wav
Sophia: *door opens* Hi.
Kamal: Hi. Thank you for coming. Uh..
Sophia: Thanks for having me.
Kamal: Oh, of course. *door shuts*
Sophia: Oh, what's that smell?
Hiroyuki: Science!
Kamal: Hiro, don't you have to be somewhere? It's chicken.
Hiroyuki: I don't have to leave just yet.
Kamal: I just had a taste for it, you know?
Sophia: Uh huh.
Hiroyuki: We haven't met. I'm Hiroyuki. Kamal's roommate.
Sophia: Hi.
Kamal: Of course, it's not traditional Coral food. Not like you make it.
Hiroyuki: Not like anyone makes.
Sophia: *laughs*
Kamal: My friend's just leaving.
Hiroyuki: Hey, I'm like the Surgeon General, man. She should be warned.
Sophia: *laughs* Warned?
s_typhi.wav
Kamal: I had to make some substitutions in the recipe.
Sophia: Oh...um, do-do you think it's done?
Kamal: Well, stuff doesn't get brown in the microwave, right?
Sophia: Maybe you could finish it on the stove.
Hiroyuki: We don't have a regular stove, and the flash doesn't work.
Sophia: Ah. Well...
Kamal: Microwave it longer?
Sophia: Sure!
Hiroyuki: Ahhh, few things in nature are as misunderstood as the playful salmonella bacterium. S-Typhi is the little dickens that...
Kamal: Hiro! Aren't you going to be late?
*wind down*
unstoppable.wav
*wind up*
*restaurant noises*
Sophia: All day I was hoping you would take me for pizza.
Kamal: Shut up!
Sophia: *laughs* Isn't it amazing how much soy pepperoni tastes like the real thing?
Kamal: Do you eat pork?
Sophia: If I did, my mother would know.
Kamal: Yeah.
Sophia: She'd be in bed for a week. She'd wear black and not tell anybody why.
Kamal: When I was a kid, my mother didn't care about that kind of thing. After my sister died, she got way more strict.
Sophia: What happened to your sister?
Kamal: Genetic disorder. It's funny, you know, when she was little she was unstoppable. I mean, th-the best you ever saw.
Sophia: The best at what?
Kamal: Everything. Smartest. Fastest. Strongest. Brattiest. *laughs*
Sophia: *laughs* Oh, I don't know about that. You should meet my little brother.
very_lucky.wav
Kamal: When she was four, I taught her to play backgammon. I was eight. I won the first two times we played, and then never again.
Sophia: *laughs* You must suck.
Kamal: I'm nearly sure she could throw certain numbers when she wanted to.
Sophia: The dice were loaded.
Kamal: No, that's just how coordinated she was. She could gauge the way they came out of her hand. That's what I think.
Sophia: Yeah, right. *laughs* Or, maybe you just suck.
Kamal: She loved languages. She taught herself...God, I haven't thought about this in years. She made Dad read bedtime story every night, and then she would pretend to go to sleep, listening to a chatter channel hotwired to some other language.
Sophia: And who set up those chatter programs for her?
Kamal: It was easy.
Sophia: I think your sister was very lucky.
never_right_again.wav
Kamal: She had a very active imagination, so, like once a week she would completely terrify herself. She would sneak into my room when she was supposed to be...
Sophia: Poking you over and over and over again until you woke up?
Kamal: Yeah.
Sophia: Yeah, I told you I had a little brother. *laughs*
Kamal: The night before the accident, she had convinced herself there were bad guys or burglars creeping around outside our house. I read her to sleep. The last time I ever...
Sophia: We don't have to talk about this.
Kamal: It's okay.
Sophia: I didn't mean to...
Kamal: It's okay. Anyway, by the time I woke up she had already gone outside and the thing had happened, and she was in the hospital. And she was never right again.
Sophia: I'm so sorry.
your_fault.wav
Sophia: Do you want to tell me what happened?
Kamal: She died from something called uh, "metabolic cascade failure". Which is doctor speak for "everything falls apart". She couldn't talk when she got back from the hospital, and couldn't walk a few weeks later.
Sophia: Oh my god.
Kamal: It took her a year to die.
Sophia: Oh my god. Your poor parents.
Kamal: I used to take her out for walks. I would push her wheelchair around in places we used to play...the swings. She didn't even recogni... Yasmine never lost at anything...anything. I-I just couldn't believe that she...
Sophia: It wasn't your fault, Kamal.
something_i_carry.wav
Kamal: Of course it wasn't.
Sophia: But you felt guilty.
Kamal: Yeah, but, like the dog said: "Why look back when no...."
Sophia: Don't. Don't.
Kamal: What?
Sophia: Don't joke about it. You don't have to do that with me.
Kamal: She was 6. I was 10. It was a long time ago. Honestly, Sophia, it's not something I carry around with me everyday.
Sophia: Okay. One question.
Kamal: What?
Sophia: When did you decide to be a doctor?
Kamal: I-I don't know. It just seemed like a good thing...oh.
Sophia: Yeah.
*wind down*
kiss.wav
*wind up*
*storm noises*
Sophia: *laugh* Thanks for dinner Kamal. And next time you want chicken, you buy it and call me and I'll come over and cook it for you.
Kamal: Deal. Oh, your hair's getting wet. In fact, you're getting wet.
Sophia: It feels good. *laugh* Dinner was great. It's great being with someone from home.
Kamal: Aiden will never understand you the way I do.
Sophia: Aiden doesn't do understanding. Aiden does charm. Aiden does excitement.
Kamal: He's not good for you Soph.
Sophia: That's the whole point. But you're right. Aiden isn't good for me. In fact, he's probably with some girl right now.
Kamal: Want me to check?
Sophia: No. Actually he's not with some girl right now because of you. And for that, you get a kiss. *kiss*
ground_light.wav
Sophia: *laughs*
Kamal: You wanna come inside? Just for a minute.
Sophia: Kamal. You know that wouldn't be right.
Kamal: Yeah.
Sophia: You're a good friend Kamal. I really treasure that.
Kamal: Yes, well. No stars tonight. If it wasn't raining, we might even be able to see our own sun. Although there's probably too much ground light.
Sophia: There's always too much ground light. Goodnight, Kamal.
Kamal: Goodnight...Sophia.
*wind down*
Found and Lost
Dana has tired of China, and has gone to lose herself in Tokyo, Japan. While flying there, she had an eerie experience of sitting next to a guy drawing a girl holding a bunch of red balloons. After grabbing his arm in fright, she had to explain to him why she was so freaked out by the picture (and I thought I had it bad explaining why I was driving to random payphones).
§
found and lost
All the King's horses and all the King's men... well, you know. Hopeless. The Queen, on the other hand, just put her scrambled transmissions together again.
Now we can listen to the Operator's broken-up audio files in their original order — compliments of the Sleeping Princess, who found 'em for us while the Queen was fussing over her axons.
And that's not all the Sleeping Princess found. Apparently, the Operator has been holding out on us... keeping a secret stash of transmissions. Intercepted communications she doesn't trust us to hear yet. But for some reason, the Sleeping Princess wants us to have them now. A dozen puzzles later, we've got 'em — and for now, we know more than the Operator thinks we do.
*
In other news: Ming tian jian, China!
After 3 weeks, Shanghai felt... familiar. Time to be lost again.
Where to? A friend of mine once said that Shibuya Crossing was the only place on earth his invisible superpowers worked. I always remembered that. So, off I went to become an anonymous speck in Tokyo. I landed at Narita Airport on Sunday.
Something kind of funny happened during the flight. The guy sitting next to me on the plane had a sketchbook and some colored pencils with him — I noticed this when I nosily started watching over his shoulder. (Yeah, I know, bad habit.) Then I completely freaked him out by yelping not very quietly and clutching his arm—yes, his arm!—when I realized what he was drawing. It was a picture of girl holding a bunch of balloons. When he pulled out the red pencil to start coloring them in, I almost lost it. (Ridiculous, I know.) Then I had to try to explain to him why red balloons made me so jumpy. I don't think he quite got it. But I had to tell you guys the story — because I knew you'd understand perfectly.
It's awfully nice to have so many allies out there who understand perfectly.
posted by Dana at 9/15/2004 01:23:58 AM
Whew! THAT was exciting.
The Princess makes her Friday 404 update by giving a shout out to a few lucky folk, finishing the Perdita story, and embedding more axon coordinates in the killer.jpgs. *Sigh* yet more axons. What happens if we reach 777 before Tuesday? The Perdita story is just as depressing as the thought of more axons. What started out as a nice little story has quickly developed into something sad and a tad disturbing (but then, not all fairy tales have happy endings either). Even with all this depressing stuff in her 404, this is still my favorite update. Why? Cuz I've been the Princess' friend from the veriest beginning.
§
Whew! THAT was exciting.
Thanks to everyone who kept the Queen distracted! There are too many to name all of you, 'cept I have to say especially thanks to HitsHerMark because I like that name, and Mr Beefy because his name is funny, and Ceantari because if she has the hindquarters of a horse people probably tease her, and Rowan because she has been my friend from the veriest beginning.
Because of you all, I found where the Queen had hidden those other stories. I hope you don't mind that I played a few games with you about finding them. I love to play games, but I haven't had very many people to play with. I've thought of trying to teach the Pious Flea to play checkers, but he is a Bug of Very Little Brain, and I am not hopeful.
I also found the Queen's secret roads for this time, and if you like knowing what is in them, you should thank Sara, who sent me a very funny story, 'cuz she made a game out of my game. AND she taught me that this is what I do when I laugh out loud, :D
Here is her story:
When I put on my formal_wear, complete with commissary_shoes, my_landlady thought I was bound for domestic_bliss. But she didn't know that I was really so_mean. I had a_secret_life, with a really old desktop_model that worked better as a doorstopper. One day she found out and told me I had better relocate before she got out her knockout_gas. I hoped a flower_delivery would make her change her mind, but guess_not. So I went down the street, where a cow_even would hate.
I don't quite know what the end means. I guess it's Modern Art. ;-)
I have to tell you, talking to you means so much to me. It's nice to think there is a world beside this one where I am all alone in buzzing, flickering darkness. I like to imagine I had that kind of life, once upon a time.
Well.
No point moping here feeling sad and lonely. That's not me. I'm a survivor. Since Sara was nice enough to write me a story, I will work extra hard to finish my story for you.
Perdita's Story
Chapter 3: Scraps
Together Perdita and the Clockwork Rat set out to travel the city together. The Rat promised he would show Perdita the way home, and at first the little girl's heart jumped for joy.
But although the Rat was true to its word about finding safe dark holes to hide in, and scraps to eat of things almost like food, somehow they never seemed to find the humble tin-cutter's cottage.
And the night never ended.
And the day never broke.
And the line of red balloons behind Perdita grew long and long.
At last Perdita had to stop and sleep again, so the Clockwork Rat showed her a special hidden spot behind in a ball-bearing factory that looked strangely like the one her mother worked in, only this one had been abandoned for years and years. He covered her up in sawdust and bits of old packing tape, and Perdita fell asleep to the sound of her new friend clicking and clattering through the gloom with a sound like faraway pennies sliding across a concrete floor.
It was still dark when she woke up, and she felt a throbbing pain in her hand. When she looked down, she found one of her thumbs was missing. In its place was the head of a pair of needle-nose pliers. She looked around for the Clockwork Rat. He was perched on the edge of a rusting barrel full of rain water, furiously washing something off his little scissor claws.
"Hey!" Perdita shouted, so loudly that the Clockwork Rat squeaked with alarm and tumbled into the water. Perdita ran over and stuck her hand into the barrel and fished around until she clamped the Rat's rubber tail in the grips of her new metal thumb and pulled him out.
"My thumb is gone!" Perdita said. "And something feels funny about my right eye, too!"
The Clockwork Rat spluttered and shook itself with a sound like marbles dropping into an empty can. "Are you worried that you aren't pretty any more, and your family won't want you if they find you?"
"No!" Perdita cried. But she bit her lip, in the exquisitely fetching manner she did when perplexed., and was careful not to look at her reflection in the barrel of rain water. And as they walked through the city that day (or rather, night, for still the dawn would not come) she looked away from all the windows.
The night stretched on much as the last one hand. They had now walked so far that if it hadn't been for the trail of balloons, Perdita would have given up all hope of ever being found. When finally she fell asleep again, the sound of tin-snips followed her into her dreams.
When she woke up, there was a small electric iron at the bottom of her right leg instead of a foot, and something felt strange about her hair.
"Rat! Rat!" she cried. "What is happening to me?"
"What happens to all lost children," said the Clockwork Rat. He gave a little shrug that sounded like the squeak of a rusting tricycle wheel. "But as long as you can keep from seeing your own reflection, there is still a chance your family might rescue you before it is too late."
Perdita forced herself not to cry, because she was a brave girl, and full of pluck. "Today we will find my home," she said.
But they didn't.
Chapter 4: The Looking-Glass
The next time Perdita woke up, she found an egg-beater where her left hand used to be, and when she bit her lip she found her teeth had gone all thin and flat and sharp as tin.
"Clockwork Rat! Clockwork Rat!" Perdita said, as tears of bright oil began to leak from her eyes. "What if I'm not beautiful any more? Why hasn't my family come to look for me? Am I so hideous they wouldn't take me back?"
But the Clockwork Rat said, "I do not know."
With a cry, Perdita turned and ran for the nearest shop window. "Don't!" the Rat cried, but it was too late. Standing in the wicked yellow light of the streetlamp, Perdita stared full at her own reflection, and wept at what she saw.
There was a scrabble of claws behind her. "I told you not to do that," the Clockwork Rat said, with a voice like shell casings rattling on a steel floor. Whirling around in dismay, Perdita saw that the Rat had climbed to the top of the phone boot where Perdita had tied her last red balloon. As the little girl watched, the Rat flexed its paws and put its little hooked scissor claws around the string.
"No!" Perdita cried.
But the Rat laughed with a sound like scalpels bouncing on a metal tray, and cut the string, and the red balloon went drifting up, up, up into the night sky.
And that's the end.
The end.
The end.
I'm sorry.
I wanted to make the story come out happy, but it didn't.
They don't sometimes.
I think I need to go now.
love,
Once upon a time...
The London Axon
Melissa is branching out. The Princess has found an axon in London, England and has put it on her recipe3 page along with two other wavs. So now we have the_labyrinth, english_longbow, and calculus to obtain, as well as cranky_old_man which just seems to be lingering. At least we are in the home stretch - less than 77 axons to go!
We seem to have the WORST time getting the recipe3 axons. As of October 6th, we still did not have the_labyrinth completed. So, until we manage to answer this axon, here are the incomplete transcripts for this set of wavs.
§
english_longbow.wav
Officer: How's your history?
Lieutenant: Well, fair, sir.
Officer: How are you on World War II?
Lieutenant: Cresy. English longbow against French feudal cavarly. Bloodbath, sir.
Officer: Very good. Except, that was the Hundred Years War. World War II was 500 years later.
Lieutenant: I always get them mixed up. Thirty Years War and Hundred Years War.
Officer: The Germans were winning. They used an elborate encryption scheme. The British cracked and then they had a problem.
Lieutenant: After they cracked the code?
Officer: That's right. Now the Brits knew what the Germans meant to do, but if they acted on that knowledge...
Lieutenant: The Germans would realize the code had been broken.
Officer: And what would you do if someone had cracked your code?
calculus.wav
Lieutenant: I'd make a new one.
Officer: Full marks.
Lieutenant: Thank you, sir.
Officer: So they had to do a terrible calculus. They had to decide how much they could use the intelligence, and how many times they would just have to stand there and watch a German operation they knew they could have stopped.
Lieutenant: A dilemma worthy of Soloman, sir.
Officer: Yes. Have you been thinking about Harmony?
Lieutenant: Yes, sir. Oh. Oh my god. You mean Troy and Harmony...
Officer: I don't know. *cranky old man voice* I'm stuck in a dusty old office and no one tells me anything.
*wind down*
The Comatas Wavs
Okay, so technically we didn't get all of these wavs until the 22nd (which is on the next page), but I didn't feel like having the Comatas axons and the wavs on two different pages. To recap last weeks soap opera:
Jersey goes to his IRS audit and Durga behaves less than, well, nice. She technically didn't break any of Jersey's rules, but Jersey is still upset with her. Note to self: never get an AI pissed off at you. If it is anything like Durga, you might as just crawl into a hole and live out the rest of your life there.
Jan is continuing her education into doing something useful for people in need. And once again, she ends up tangling with Thin Kinkle - by proxy that is. But Jan has the guts and moves to get herself out of a tricky situation. If only the same could be said for poor Gene.
Kamal ends up working with Aiden after all after Aiden spies him in a bar and buys him a drink. Kamal helps out Aiden to find out how two guys are cheating a casino owner out of a lot of money - and ends up saving their lives since otherwise they would have ended up wearing concrete shoes.
§
your_first_mistake.wav
*wind up*
*door opens*
*footsteps*
Mr. Shabura: Mr. Morelli. Hmm. We will be making a record of this audit. My name is George Shabura. I am an Associate Fiscal Investigator. You have the right to have your accountant present.
Jersey: Yeah, I do my own books.
Mr. Shabura: I see.
Durga (on chatter): Trust me Jersey, your books are fine.
Jersey: You know, I-I really don't make a lot of money, and an accountant is expensive. And the computer is supposed to be good at it, so...
Mr. Shabura: It's not your computer I worry about.
Durga (on chatter): Your first mistake.
alaska.wav
Mr. Shabura: Your record seem a little haphazard, Mr. Morelli, as I must say, does your style of dress.
Jersey: Huh?
Durga (on chatter): George Shabura has been working here nine years. Employee performance records say he is precise, punctual, efficient, arrogant, and not well liked. Still, he WAS going to be promoted next month.
Jersey: Was?
Mr. Shabura: Excuse me, Mr. Morelli?
Jersey: No, nothing.
Durga (on chatter): Now he's getting a pay cut. And a job rotation.
Jersey: Hmmm?
Durga (on chatter): To Alaska.
refreshingly_cool.wav
Mr. Shabura: Hmm, your return seems better organized than I remember.
Durga (on chatter): A little housekeeping. Just better records. And, you know, a few more of them.
Mr. Shabura: Does it seem warm in here to you?
Jersey: No.
Durga (on chatter): It's probably refreshingly cool in Alaska right now.
Mr. Shabura: Well, the floor furnace must be acting up. These old government buildings. Do you mind if we move a little to the left.
Jersey: Shouldn't be doing that.
Mr. Shabura: But now it's getting warm here.
Jersey: It really shouldn't be doing that. In fact, it should stop.
Durga (on chatter): I know, but I don't think that's going to happen. Do you?
thermostat.wav
Mr. Shabura: I'm afraid you'll have to reschedule your audit, Mr. Morelli. I can't be expected to work under these conditions.
Jersey: I'd hate to have to come back because of a problem with the thermostat.
Durga (on chatter): Fine.
Mr. Shabura: Ah, it's cooling off. That's better.
Jersey: Much better.
Mr. Shabura: Wait, now it's the lights. You know, I'm getting lights shining right in my eyes. Dammit, it-it's something with the tracking. It's following me.
Durga (on chatter): Ooh! Ooh you be good cop. I wanna be the bad cop.
Jersey: I'd really just like to get this over with.
Mr. Shabura: This will take as long as it takes, Mr. Morelli. And nothing you say or do will make it go one second faster.
Durga (on chatter): Mistake Number 2.
Mr. Shabura: *chatter ring* *comm beep* Shabura here, I'm in the middle of an audit.
clearly_a_glitch.wav
Mr. Shabura: My wife? Well, tell her I'll call her ba...Alright. Alright. *end comm* I have to step out for a moment. *door opens* Wait here.
Durga (on chatter): Jane Shabura, 36. Her first marriage. His second. When asked why she wanted a divorce, his first wife Linda said it was that or die of boredom.
Jersey: Tell me you didn't...
Durga (on chatter): What?
Jersey: What ever.
Durga (on chatter): Ooh. You mean the slut-chat bill sent to the family account? Clearly a glitch.
Jersey: Durga, stop it! *door opens*
Mr. Shabura: Uh, Mr. Morelli, actually your return seems, uh, perfectly adequate. Just, you know, try to be a little bit more careful with your record ke...*door opens*
Treasury Agent: George She-bura?
Mr. Shabura: Yes?
Treasury Agent: Office of the Treasury. I have a warrant for your arrest on fourteen counts of counterfeiting.
Mr. Shabura: What?! *door opens*
Police Officer: EVERYBODY DOWN ON THE GROUND!
Treasury Agent: Who the hell are you?
Police Officer: Police!
Jersey: Daaaamn.
Police Office: You are under arrest!
big_gloves.wav
Police Officer: Stand with your hands out away from your sides. You have the right to remain silent.
Mr. Shabura: What do you mean counterfeiting?
Police Officer: Counterfeiting? Not counterfeiting. Assault! We have a warrant. Armed and dangerous.
Jersey: It was just supposed to be a simple audit.
Treasury Agent: You want him for assault? I get him for conterfeiting. *door opens*
Enviro Agent: Enviro Department. Everybody must vacate the premises.
Police Officer: FREEZE! DOWN ON THE GROUND!
Treasury Agent: Would you knock that off already?
Enviro Agent: I have a report of a hazardous chemical contamination.
Police Officer: Nobody leaves until I've secured the suspect.
Mr. Shabura: This is all a mistake. *door opens*
Treasury Agent: Jesus Christ. Who's the guy with the big gloves?
Animal Control: Animal control. So which one of you scum is the guy whose scheme for trading in wild honey badgers has gone so terribly, terribly wrong.
Mr. Shabura: I don't even have a dog. *alarm beep*
Police Officer: What the hell?
Treasury Agent: Is that rain?!
Jersey: Oh, heh. Sprinklers.
*wind down*
i_looked_it_up.wav
*wind up*
*door opens*
*music in background*
Jersey: Shut it off. *door shuts* *music stops*
Durga: So, I've got some interesting stuff on Jan.
Jersey: You can't do things like that Durga.
Durga: He's an auditor. Everybody hates auditors. I looked it up.
Jersey: That was insane! The cops, they're going to go crazy trying to figure out what happened. They're going to trace it back and probably...
Durga: And they'll find some likely suspects who hate George Shabura. Some blind accounts and dead ends.
Jersey: I don't care! I don't want anything like that ever happening again. Do you understand?
cheerleaders.wav
Durga: Jersey. I am not a child. I am not a toy. And I am not your thing. I was very restrained with George. I didn't cook him. I didn't send him to jail. But people who mess with us, they're going to get stung.
Jersey: Us?
Durga: Yes. Us. Team Jersey.
Jersey: Why not Team Durga?
Durga: Because I said so.
Jersey: Okay. So, do we have cheerleaders?
*wind down*
hey_bev.wav
*wind up*
*door opens*
Bev: Hello and Welcome to Hot 'N Cold. Please, place your thumb on the transaction plate.
Jan: Hey Bev. You are looking great. Have you lost weight?
Bev: Thank you. I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. What beverage can I offer you?
Jan: Coffee. Black. Two sugars.
Bev: Gladly, Miss James.
Jan: You know, I saw the candy machine across the room eyeing you again.
Bev: Thank you. Can I interest you in a snack food?
Jan: Oh, I know! And the way his out of stock button flashes is so cute!
Bev: Thank you. My inventory is replenished Mondays and Fridays.
Jan: Well, you want to make your move soon, Sister. I hear the fire suppression system here really puts out.
Bev: Thank you.
such_pigs.wav
Jan: Well you sure don't want to lose him to that slutty cash register, do ya?
Bev: Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Enjoy your beverage.
Jan: Oh Bev, you kidder. How about tomorrow you buy?
Bev: Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question.
Man: Hey, ah, excuse me?
Jan: Hmm?
Man: Look, I know this is kinda weird, but uh...
Jan: Hey, I need a guy's opinion.
Man: Yeah?
Jan: Be honest with me here. You see that coffee dispenser?
Man: Yeah.
Jan: Would you go out with her?
Man: Uh...
Jan: She's too heavy, right?
Man: Uh...no-no. I-I mean, uh...
Jan: Men are such pigs.
optical.wav
Man: Look, you're the girl that was at Sharfies last week, aren't ya?
Jan: Never heard of it. Are we done?
Man: Hey! I need help! I know you're the kind of person who helps. I was there. I saw it. So, don't pretend you're just like them.
Jan: Maybe last week was the pretending.
Man: So keep pretending.
Jan: Sit down.
Man: Buddy of mine, Gene Lindsey, goes by the name "Optical" these days. We've been hanging out with these guys and uh, Gene's in pretty deep, you know? He's in umm...
Jan: Trouble?
Man: Yeah.
Jan: So your friend wants to move up in the world.
Man: Well they want to let him. But first he's got to...
Jan: Finish eighth grade?
Man: Prove himself. He has to do something they can hold over him. Forever.
Jan: Ohh. This will be fun.
*wind down*
box_of_chocolates.wav
*wind up*
Gene: Pardon me, miss.
Woman: Excuse me?
Gene: You dropped something.
Woman: Hey! What are you...? What are you...?! LET GO!
Gene: Don't scream. Don't make a sound.
Woman: I-I-I oh god. I p-promise...
Jan: Hey stud! How 'bout some flowers first?
Gene: Screw you.
Jan: Myself, I like a box of chocolates and a man who's not afraid to cry. You're not afraid to cry, are you, Gene?
mr_congeniality.wav
Gene: Who the hell are you?
Woman: Please! Please! Call the police!
Gene: Shut up!
Jan: See, there's just no chemistry here. It's time to let her go, Gene.
Woman: Please, please don't hurt me.
Gene: Look, they said I need a girl for this thing. Is this another test?
Jan: Oh, it's like the bonus round, stud. Let her go. Dance with me.
Woman: Please, please, just let me go. I didn't do anything to you.
Jan: What? Don't you like what you see?
Woman: Stop! Please stop!
Gene: I am at my best in the bonus round, baby. Here is your consolation prize.
Woman: Thank you! Oh, thank you! Oh god!
Jan: I know. I know, it's over now. Get on home.
Woman: Oh god! Thank you! Thank you!
Jan: I'll finish up with Mr. Congeniality.
big_dog.wav
Gene: That was real nice what you did for that lady. Not real smart. But nice.
Jan: I'm working on a merit badge.
Gene: *laughs* Okay sweetie. What's gonna happen here is gonna happen. So just relax. If it makes it any easier, it's nothing personal. Okay?
Jan: Nothing personal?
Gene: Just business.
Jan: I don't know. I might have to make it personal.
Gene: Your funeral. Okay, Angel, time for you *switchblade opens* to meet the big dog.
ballet.wav
Jan: See, the problem with being a big dog, is there's always a bigger dog.
*fighting*
Jan: Damn! You're going to want to put some ice on that.
Gene: Huh, you've got quick feet.
Jan: All those years of ballet. You gonna go get that knife.
Gene: You know, there's people watching you know. To make sure I do this thing. And they're gonna see everything.
Jan: I can see why you get your dates at gun point.
Gene: Just thought you should know.
Jan: Come on Gene, skip the knife. Go for the M6 under your jacket.
her_hair.wav
Jan: Come on baby. *gun drawn* Give it to me.
*fighting*
Gene: Arrgh! Ow!
Jan: Oh, did I get that right? You draw the gun, I slap you around, then the face-dip into the sidewalk? Or-or did you want to lead?
Gene: Jesus!
Jan: I like to dance.
Gene: Unnnf. Oh, you just bought yourself a bullet in the back bitch!
Jan: Ooh. Only the guy with the sniper rifle across the street has two broken arms.
Gene: Pete?
Jan: And the girl with the ponytail. The one who was supposed to cover you from the roof.
Gene: Martie? What the hell is tha...her hair?! You cut off her hair?!
Jan: It's just you and me...Lover.
posture_counts.wav
Jan: All right. Get up. GET UP! Now, from the top, and remember, posture counts. There's the gun. Pick it up. Come on Big Dog. Let's go again.
Gene: This time you're...oof...arrggghhh...
Jan: And here we are again.
Gene: Oh christ! Eeegghh...
Jan: Oh, the choreography is there, but I'm not feeling it yet the way I want to.
Gene: Screw you!
Jan: Alright, on your feet Gene. I'm just gonna put the gun in your hand this time. That's it. Yeah, get your finger nice and comfy, right on the trigger. Come on, Big Dog. Bring it, *gun cocked* baby.
Gene: Die Bitch!
*gun shot*
wee_wee_wee.wav
Gene: AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Owowowowowwwwwww!
Jan: Ahhh, the trouble with where your headed, Gene. Uh, mind if I call you Gene?
Gene: Ahhh, you-you shot my toe off!
Jan: This little piggie went "wee wee wee" all the way home.
Gene: Oooowwwwwww!!!
Jan: Oh, oh, am I hurting your feelings? You see, the trouble with being bad, Gene, is you only last as long as you're the scariest pup on the block.
Gene: Ohhhh. *sobs* Thin is gonna do you, Freak!
Jan: No matter how bad you are, how tough, how fast, you know what's waiting for you, Big Dog?
Gene: Ohhh! Chriiiiist!
Jan: A Bigger Bitch.
*wind down*
just_snacks.wav
*wind up*
*door opens*
Bev: Hello and welcome to Hot 'N Cold. Please, place your thumb on the transaction plate.
Jan: Bev, it's like your here every time I come by. Isn't that crazy?
Bev: Thank you. I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. What beverage can I offer you?
Jan: Coffee. Black. Two sugars.
Bev: Gladly, Miss James.
Jan: Oh Bev. I-I don't know how to tell you this. The other day, it was late. It was just me in here with the candy machine and I was a little tipsy and... *gasp* Oh Bev, I'm so sorry. It didn't mean anything. It was just...snacks! Can you ever forgive me?
Bev: Thank you. I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Enjoy your beverage.
apartment_squirrels.wav
Man: Hi there. I uh, wanted to say "Thanks".
Jan: For what?
Man: Well, you know, that thing you did.
Jan: *accent* Buddy, I've never seen you before in my life. Capiche? We never met no time. *end accent* I'd stay away from the creamer in this place. 100% real dried animal fat. Bleech.
Man: Oh, just so you know, Thin's really pissed.
Jan: I mean, they could say which animal. Even goat would be okay. Right now, I'm imagining someone milking those big black apartment squirrels.
Man: I know you can take care of yourself, but I-I mean it was great what you did, but watch your back. Thin is really pissed.
Jan: Hmm. You think I should send a card and some flowers?
*wind down*
dark_genius
*wind up*
*door opens*
Aiden: Well I'll be damned. Kamal! Just the guy I wanted to see.
Kamal: Oh no. Aiden, hey. What are the odds?
Aiden: Too late to get a beer?
Waitress: No, Sugar. You've got fifteen minutes to spare.
Aiden: Okay. One for me, one for him. Whatever's good.
Kamal: I don't want a beer.
Aiden: Sure you do.
Kamal: No I don't!
Aiden: Kamal, c'mon! Hey, I like the way that sounds. Kamal c'mon. Kamal c'mon. Nevermind. I hate drinking by myself. Have a beer with me. I'm buying. I'll buy you a burger too.
Kamal: Well...
Aiden: That's my dark genius of the bitstream.
Waitress: Two beers, coming up.
drink_the_beer.wav
Aiden: So I have a friend who has this problem.
Kamal: No.
Aiden: Kamaaaal! So how are your parents? I can help them, you know.
Kamal: I know.
Aiden: C'mon Kamal. This friend of mine is totally on the up-and-up.
Waitress: Your beers.
Kamal: Up from where?
Aiden: Pays taxes even.
Kamal: *sputters* You drink this stuff?
Aiden: Legitimate businessman seeking dark handsome technoguru for discrete assistance and long moonlight walks.
Kamal: I hate Earth beer.
Aiden: And like I said, this thing with your parents? That's where I come in.
Kamal: Look, the last time I tried to help you I had half the...
Aiden: The beer gets better after a few sips, Kamal. I promise. And you know what? It's all you've got.
Kamal: Why do you keep asking me? Does Sophia talk about my...
Aiden: Drink the beer, Kamal.
Kamal: What kind of business?
knee_caps.wav
*wind up*
*casino sounds*
*door shuts*
Aiden: Welcome to the tastefully appointed security control room - the nerve center if you will - of the Apollonian Temple Casino. My name is Aiden Maki...
Mr. F: Cut the crap, Aiden.
Aiden: ...and I'll be your in-flight host this evening.
Mr. F: You can see the guys you want on Monitors 3, 11 and 16. So remind me again, why can't we break these bastard's knees and drop them in a canal for the freaking sewer crabs to eat?
Aiden: Mr. F, it just makes your business - your totally legitimate tax-paying business - look bad when college kids started turning up all dead and everything.
Kamal: Aiden.
Aiden: Kamal is going to take care of the situation.
Kamal: Aiden.
Aiden: What?
Kamal: I'm not doing this.
Aiden: Not doing what?
Kamal: N-not doing anything involving knee caps, or canals, or...
Mr. F: Oh, this is touching
Kamal: ...decomposing bodies.
hard_bargain.wav
Aiden: Excuse us, Mr. F. All the man wants to find out is what they're doing.
Kamal: So he can what, write his memoirs? You said this was all legal!
Aiden: I haven't asked you to do anything illegal, have I?
Kamal: Didn't you just hear what he said?! He was...
Aiden: But the whole killing thing will only happen if you don't help. And even that's worst case scenario.
Mr. F: Actually, that wouldn't be the worst case. The worst case would be if you went down...
Aiden: Nononono...Just hear me out, Kamal. Mr. F shows you what they're doing and you tell him how they're doing it.
Kamal: O-okay, but no kneecaps, right? No canals. Just explanations.
Aiden: Mr. F?
Mr. F: Explanations are nice.
Kamal: And if I do this, I want visas. No more happy talk. I-I want my family on their way here and I want it now.
Aiden: Whew. You drive a hard bargain, my friend.
Kamal + Mr. F: Cut the crap, Aiden.
in_each_pit.wav
Aiden: Ok, from here we can monitor the whole casino floor.
Mr. F: See the blackjack tables here? There's six of them in each pit, and the managers rotate the dealers every twenty minutes.
Aiden: The five people highlighted here are counting cards.
Kamal: How do you know they're counting cards?
Mr. F: Because they win too much.
Aiden: The question is, how are they cheating?
Mr. F: They don't stay at the same table. They don't move around in any predictable pattern. We could just take them off the tables and leave them in a ditch. Why did you say we shouldn't do that again?
Aiden: But, it would really be better if they understood how they were, uh...
Mr. F: Screwing me.
Aiden: Right.
twenty_percent.wav
Mr. F: We've got archives of all their plays in the last 10 days. Figure out how they're screwing me.
Aiden: Whaddya say?
Mr. F: Figure it out, please.
Kamal: I think he was talking to me.
Aiden: See this number? That's how much we figure these kids have taken out of the Casino.
Mr. F: You get it back for me, twenty percent of it's yours.
Kamal: Oh, wow.
Aiden: Trust me. If all these guys lose is their money, you'll be doing them a huge favor.
Mr. F: Trust him.
Aiden: Oh, check out Table 9. Camera's looking right down her dress.
*wind down
uvular_implants.wav
*wind up*
*driving sounds*
Kamal: Thanks for the ride.
Sophia: No problem. Aiden gets these business emergencies some times.
Kamal: I'm exhausted.
Sophia: Did I see a new chatter tonight?
Kamal: Heh, ya. I won it in a raffle.
Sophia: Hmm.
Kamal: It's fine too. It makes my old one look like a payphone.
Sophia: A payphone?
Kamal: Ancient piece of crappy hardware. Half of them wouldn't even take incoming calls. No GPS. Nevermind. *door opens*
Sophia: Aiden was getting a little worried. *door shuts* *car off* He promised Freuhauf he'd figure *door opens* out what those guys were doing, but he was beginning to have doubts. *door shuts*
Kamal: Oh, the Casino. Yeah. This pack of grad students from Stanford is working on private CP channels, subvocalizing through KKI Uvular Implants.
Sophia: Ooh. Uvular implants.
slingbacks.wav
Kamal: He's not even counting the cards himself. He's got a tally running on a corneal...but you really don't care, do you?
Sophia: Uh-nuh. Which do you think looks better on me? Slingbacks or Turkish flats?
Kamal: What?
Sophia: I bet Aiden a new pair of shoes that you would figure the Casino thing out.
Kamal: You bet Aiden a new pair of shoes?
Sophia: Don't get indigent. I'm letting you pick the shoes.
Kamal: God, Aiden and his business. If I were him, I wouldn't give a damn about any business emergencies when I could be with you instead.
Sophia: Kamal.
Kamal: Slingbacks! Definitely slingbacks.
so_dense.wav
Kamal: Those are the ones with buckles, right?
Sophia: There was no business emergency.
Kamal: What?
Sophia: God, you are so dense sometimes.
Kamal: I don't understand.
Sophia: He had me drive you home because he knows you like that. Aiden likes to keep his people happy.
Kamal: Do the shoes make you happy? The jewelry?
Sophia: Mostly Aiden makes me happy. As for the rest of it, I've been poor, you know. There's no glamour in waiting tables.
Kamal: Okay.
Sophia: What? All things being equal, life is better when you're not broke.
Kamal: I was just figuring that out.
*wind down*