July 20, 2007

[14:01] <Crispy`> holy shit guys gusy
[14:01] <Crispy`> shit im fuckeddddd
[14:01] <Crispy`> i dont know what to do
[14:01] <Crispy`> im trapped in my fucking room
[14:01] <Crispy`> theres no windows
[14:01] <Crispy`> the door is loged shuit or somehting
[14:01] <Crispy`> credit cards dont work
[14:01] <Crispy`> i have no phone
[14:01] <nawoR> and you keep up the language and someone might just kick you
[14:01] <Crispy`> i dont know what to do
[14:01] <nawoR> unplug the computer, wrap the cord around your neck and pull tightly
[14:02] <grimcat> Use the firewindow.
[14:02] <Rogiwork> Is there a table? And a saw?
[14:02] <grimcat> Perhaps a mirror?
[14:02] <AxysDenyed> Sounds like an escape the room flash game gone wrong
[14:02] <Crispy`> there's nothing
[14:02] <Crispy`> like this is really serious im not joking at all
[14:02] <AxysDenyed> Apparently there's you and a computer
[14:02] <Crispy`> i am trapped in my room there i no phone no way to call anyone
[14:03] <AxysDenyed> You can try messaging someone who can come over
[14:03] <Crispy`> no one is supposed to come to my house for another 3 days
[14:03] <Crispy`> the door doesn't open though
[14:03] <ScrappyDoo> climb up through the paneled ceiling
[14:03] <nawoR> your room doesnt have a window?
[14:03] <Crispy`> like, the doorknob has apparently unhinged itself from the door itself
[14:03] <AxysDenyed> It won't open from the outside?
[14:03] <Crispy`> and the knob is there
[14:03] <nawoR> take your computer screen and use it as a battering ram
[14:03] <Crispy`> but turning it doesn't get the little thing out of the socket that holds the door closed
[14:03] <AxysDenyed> Do you have a knife?
[14:03] <Crispy`> no
[14:03] * AxysDenyed always has a knife
[14:04] <nawoR> you have nothing to use to batter the door down with?
[14:04] <Rogiwork> It's just him and a computer. That's all!
[14:04] <nawoR> no one you can email to come get you out?
[14:04] <Crispy`> i've tried the little credit card through the slit in the door trick but there's something like lodged there
[14:04] <Crispy`> I can't break down the door
[14:04] <nawoR> why not?
[14:04] <Crispy`> i can't afford a new one
[14:04] <AxysDenyed> Sounds like someone pennied you
[14:04] <nawoR> well, then sit in there for 3 days
[14:04] <sapagoo> being pennied is so 1980s
[14:04] <Rogiwork> On the off chance you're not kidding, just pop the hinge pins.
[14:05] <AxysDenyed> Do you have any tools?
[14:05] <nawoR> email your local police department
[14:05] <Crispy`> i have my keys
[14:05] <Crispy`> that's it
[14:05] <Crispy`> the police will just break down the door
[14:05] <AxysDenyed> Then email or IM someone who can come over and let you out
[14:05] <Crispy`> the door doesn't work though
[14:05] <nawoR> not necessarily
[14:05] <grimcat> ...
[14:05] <AxysDenyed> Tell them to bring tools, you moran
[14:05] <sapagoo> but then again, who pennies someone in a room with no windows.
[14:05] <nawoR> they could get a lock smith - but that might cost just as much
[14:06] <Crispy`> i'm gonna try and pry the knob off my with keys
[14:06] <sapagoo> you don't need a locksmith, just a screwdriver on the side with the screws
[14:06] <Cortana> howdy folks
[14:06] <AxysDenyed> Hey Cort
[14:06] <sapagoo> use the keys you can replace, before you use your car keys
[14:06] <ScrappyDoo> as long as you've got a cup to pee in and someone coming in 3 hours, you should be fine :P
[14:06] <AxysDenyed> Crispy` managed to get himself locked into a room with no windows
[14:06] <ScrappyDoo> geez.
[14:06] <grimcat> AxysDenyed: That's a perfectly good irish clan name you're insulting there.
[14:06] <sapagoo> 3 days, not 3 hours.
[14:06] <ScrappyDoo> oh
[14:07] <ScrappyDoo> well, still
[14:07] <ScrappyDoo> you can drink pee
[14:07] <Cortana> Crispy, that's brilliant.
[14:07] <ScrappyDoo> it's sterile
[14:07] <Crispy`> i didn't DO anything
[14:07] <Cortana> well done, sir.
[14:07] <Crispy`> the door did this
[14:07] <Crispy`> it just broke
[14:07] <sapagoo> i still think you should make this into a flash game.
[14:07] <Crispy`> i think the little knob that goes in the socket when a door closes is stuck in the locked position
[14:07] <AmberJoy> ATI Radeon X600SE 128mb PCI Express Video Card
[14:07] <AmberJoy> $19.99
[14:07] <sapagoo> what's the inventory again?
[14:07] <Crispy`> and the door knob is no loger connected to said knob
[14:07] <Crispy`> inventory...
[14:07] <sapagoo> computer - check - connection to IRC - check.
[14:08] <grimcat> AJ: planning on getting it?
[14:08] <Crispy`> i pod, deck of cards, xbox 360, computer, wallet, keys
[14:08] <AxysDenyed> grimcat: Do you not frequent Fark.com? Have you not seen this picture: http://shockingelk.com/pictures/misc/moran.jpg
[14:08] <sapagoo> geez - you have an xbox360 and a TV ?!?
[14:08] <Crispy`> and a wii
[14:08] <Crispy`> i forgot the wii
[14:08] <sapagoo> you can just play that for the next 3 days.
[14:08] <ScrappyDoo> i'm still wondering what the problem is
[14:08] <Crispy`> yeah but i need to eat and go to warped tomorrow
[14:08] <Crispy`> THE PROBLEM is that i can't get out
[14:08] <Crispy`> and i need to get out
[14:09] <SpaceBass> this is like one of those args where you don't really care much about helping the dude who was kidnapped and is blogging about it
[14:09] <grimcat> Axys: ohhh, I completely forgot about that pic!
[14:09] <AxysDenyed> email or IM someone who can come over with tools
[14:09] <SpaceBass> take your aim woes elsewhar
[14:09] <ScrappyDoo> so take of the knob part of the doorknob and stick your fingers through the hole holding a tiny sign that says "help!"
[14:09] <ScrappyDoo> of=off
[14:09] <grimcat> Family Force 5 will play without you.
[14:10] <Crispy`> You guys are hilarious.
[14:10] <Crispy`> Thanks.
[14:10] <Cortana> We find this Really amusing.
[14:10] <Crispy`> I'm sure you do.
[14:10] <Cortana> I have a feeling this will affect your grand plans to hold public office.
[14:10] <Crispy`> Well, off to fucking roid rage this door into little pieces
[14:10] <Cortana> when people find out you had to drink your pee. :)
[14:10] <Cortana> that doesn't play well in Iowa.
[14:10] <Crispy`> crispy smash time
[14:10] <Rogiwork> Use the Wiimote to unlock the door. Those things can do anything from what I hear.
[14:10] <SpaceBass> why can't you pop the hinge pins again?
[14:10] <grimcat> Rogiiwork, you win.
[14:11] <nawoR> i think i have a new greet...
[14:11] <Cortana> oh?
[14:11] <AxysDenyed> If he'd just contact someone that could come over with tools, he'd be set. Instead, he breaks the door
[14:11] <Crispy`> i can't contact anyone
[14:11] <Crispy`> no ones on
[14:11] <Crispy`> they're at the beach
[14:11] *** nawoR left #unfiction []
[14:11] *** nawoR has joined #unfiction
[14:11] <ARGbot> [nawoR] <SpaceBass> this is like one of those args where you don't really care much about helping the dude who was kidnapped and is blogging about it
[14:11] <grimcat> Actually, he's been givena number of attractive, sensible options.
[14:11] <grimcat> Roid rage is the most dramatic.
[14:12] <Crispy`> I'm trying to think
[14:12] <AxysDenyed> Indeed
[14:12] <Crispy`> how do I pop out a door knob
[14:12] <nawoR> are they at the beach for the next 3 days?
[14:12] <ScrappyDoo> is that android range?
[14:12] <AxysDenyed> If it were the weekend, I'd offer to go over there myself
[14:12] <grimcat> Roid rage is conducive to thinking. Hulk out!
[14:12] <SpaceBass> hinge pins!
[14:12] <Crispy`> What are hinge pins
[14:12] <SpaceBass> most residential doors open inwards
[14:12] <SpaceBass> the hinges hold the door in place
[14:12] <Crispy`> Yeah, this door opens into my room
[14:12] <SpaceBass> the pins pop out
[14:12] <AxysDenyed> The pins that hold the two parts of the hinge together
[14:12] <Cortana> If it opens inward, the hinges are on your side.
[14:12] <SpaceBass> wedge a coin in there, lever it up a little
[14:13] <SpaceBass> then push it out with something
[14:13] <Crispy`> alright, so how do I get those off
[14:13] <Crispy`> ok
[14:13] <ScrappyDoo> all you need for those is a good wedge to yoink 'em out
[14:13] <ScrappyDoo> good lord, google "hinge pins"
[14:13] <Rogiwork> yoink?
[14:13] <AxysDenyed> You could probably use your keys to get them out
[14:13] <Rogiwork> I love it!
[14:13] <SpaceBass> do that to all three of htem, then you can lift the door out and away from the knob and latch
[14:13] <ScrappyDoo> super easy if hte door is hollow, harder if it's solid
[14:13] <ScrappyDoo> don't let it smoosh your head
[14:13] <Cortana> And now we've explained Doors 101 to Crispy.
[14:14] <sapagoo> or your hands - don't smoosh your hands
[14:14] <nawoR> i'm just trying to figure out what the difference it would be if he did smoosh his head
[14:14] <Crispy`> there's two hinges, and the bottom pin has absolutely no space between it and the hinge itself
[14:14] * sapagoo learned all there is to know about where the hinges are located from Encyclopedia Brown.
[14:14] <Rogiwork> I'm still reeling at a bedroom w/no windows. Do you live in Dachau?
[14:14] <grimcat> I'm going to go ahead and issue a blanket "don't smoosh" statement here.
[14:14] <Cortana> I'm sure you can figure out how to get it out, Crispy.
[14:14] <nawoR> i loved encyclopedia brown
[14:14] <Crispy`> Rogi: I have a window but nothing I can fit through
[14:15] <Cortana> Rogi> they're not all that uncommon, actually
[14:15] <sapagoo> by "no space" you mean - you need a smaller coin and or screwdriver
[14:15] <SpaceBass> you may be able to push it up from the bottom of the pin
[14:15] <nawoR> my 2nd bedroom had no windows -but it was in the basement
[14:15] <nawoR> you dont need to fit through it - just call someone for help through it
[14:15] <Crispy`> from the bottom...alright
[14:15] <nawoR> or get someone to bring you a phone
[14:15] <grimcat> Technically-- at least in MA-- a bedroom must possess a closet, a door, and a window.
[14:15] <Cortana> that is true in VA as well
[14:15] <sapagoo> dear me - is that "sociallized architecture"?
[14:15] <SpaceBass> if you can get the top pin out, it would be strong enough to push with if it'll fit
[14:15] <Cortana> my friend's apartment is technically a studio with den.
[14:16] <Cortana> yeah, once you get the one pin out, use it to pop the bottom pin
[14:16] <Cortana> then open the door inward.
[14:16] <grimcat> socialized architecture?
[14:16] <Rogiwork> use a video cable (Yellow one) from one of your consoles to push the pin out of the hinges.
[14:16] <sapagoo> i guess I think regulation of closets might be going a little to far.
[14:17] <Cortana> Regulating the SIZE of the closet is lunacy. ;0
[14:17] <grimcat> You're not so much regulating a closet as you're regulating rooms. Can't have people falsely advertising bedrooms when they actually mean closets.
[14:17] <Crispy`> I got the top pin out
[14:17] <Crispy`> but I can't get the bottom one out
[14:17] <grimcat> Yeah. You could have a one foot square closet. Still a closet.
[14:17] <Rogiwork> use pin 1 to push out pin 2
[14:17] <sapagoo> use the top pin & push from the bottom.
[14:18] <grimcat> Though I won't argue that Massachusetts is heavily socialized.
[14:19] <Crispy`> can't
[14:19] <Crispy`> can't even see the bottom of the pin at the bottom of the hinge
[14:19] <Rogiwork> can
[14:19] <Crispy`> i've pushed up with even a ballpoint pen, the thing won't budge
[14:19] <sapagoo> you can't fit the pin in?
[14:19] <AxysDenyed> It's a big cylinder in the middle of the hinge, how can you not see it?
[14:19] <Cortana> keep trying.
[14:19] <nawoR> pee on it - see if it loosens up
[14:20] <Rogiwork> then use pin 1 as a chisel on the head of pin 2 and hit it with a shoe.
[14:20] <Cortana> that is the other option, shear the hinge pin on the bottom
[14:20] <Crispy`> at the bottom apparently it's either closed up with something or painted over either way I've been pushing up from the bottom and it's not coming out
[14:20] <sapagoo> if you don't have a shoe, use the xbox
[14:20] <Cortana> probably painted over
[14:20] <Rogiwork> some hinges don't have an open hole on the bottom side.
[14:20] <Cortana> break up the paint
[14:21] <Cortana> see if you can't use a dime or a screwdriver to wedge the head of the bottom pin up
[14:21] <AxysDenyed> He doesn't have a screwdriver, from what I understand
[14:21] <Cortana> that's a pity.
[14:21] <sapagoo> if that doesn't work, and you still can't wedge the bottom pin, try the door knob and latch again.... removing the top pin might have loosened the latch.
[14:21] <grimcat> I bet he could improvise something from cannibalized computer parts.
[14:22] <sapagoo> he has an xbox360, and a wii, and a computer - he's not that bad off.
[14:22] <grimcat> Maybe build a few robots with whom he could make fun of bad discussion forum posts.
[14:22] <AxysDenyed> If he had a screwdriver, he could just take off the doorknob
[14:22] <ScrappyDoo> why is there no swiss army knife to be found?!
[14:22] <Cortana> he's not a boy scout, Scrappy
[14:22] <Cortana> he did not come Prepared.
[14:22] <Rogiwork> That won't work if it's the latch itself that's jammed.
[14:22] <AxysDenyed> Be preparrrred
[14:22] <AxysDenyed> /goat
[14:23] <nawoR> if he had a goat, the goat could eat the door
[14:23] <strifey|work> this kinda reminds me of when they chained my roomate into our dorm room first year of college
[14:23] <Cortana> LOL
[14:23] <grimcat> Man, this morning blew right past, but the afternoon has come to a grinding halt.
[14:23] <Crispy`> ok so
[14:23] <Crispy`> the bottom of the bottom hinge is closed up, not painted over
[14:24] <Crispy`> and there's no space for me to even wedge up the pin
[14:24] <Cortana> Guess you're gonna die, then.
[14:24] <Cortana> sorry man
[14:24] <Rogiwork> beat hell out of it with the other pin.
[14:24] <nawoR> he's a big boy. he can last for weeks on his reserves
[14:24] <Crispy`> more of an inconvenience if anything
[14:24] <Cortana> we'll tell that tranny you hooked up with last week that you love her. him. it.
[14:24] <Crispy`> Yep.
[14:24] <SpaceBass> wedge the end of hte other pin next to the seam where there's no space, and beat the hell out of hte other end with your shoe
[14:25] <SpaceBass> it'll pop up a little eventually
[14:25] <SpaceBass> and you can wedge it in more
[14:25] <Crispy`> alright
[14:25] * nawoR wonders what would have happened if crispy didnt have a computer either
[14:25] <sapagoo> the world will never know.
[14:25] <Cortana> i have a feeling there'd be crying.
[14:25] <SpaceBass> if we save his life, this like covers our collective good deeds for at least the next year
[14:25] <Crispy`> nawoR: I would have beaten the absolute living hell out of the door.
[14:25] <sapagoo> one of those mysteries - like how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop.
[14:26] <strifey|work> I still don't understand how you dont have a neighbor
[14:26] <Cortana> Space> is it really a good deed to unleash him on the world?
[14:26] <Crispy`> I probably would have just punched a hole clean through the thing I'm so pissed off right now
[14:26] <Cortana> :D
[14:26] <Cortana> or you'd have broken your hand.
[14:26] <nawoR> that part could still happen
[14:26] <grimcat> The night is young.
[14:27] <strifey|work> i think youre supposed to turn off the lights and look for messages on the wall
[14:27] <Rogiwork> that mp3 player is going to be up for a while.
[14:27] <nawoR> oh oh! did you look on the computer for a secret message telling you the password to enter on the hidden keypad?
[14:27] <Cortana> This could be a KLOO!
[14:27] <Cortana> :D
[14:28] <strifey|work> hey, at least you'll lose weight if youre trapped in there for 3 days Crispy
[14:28] <nawoR> i hope he has a bottle in his inventory so he can use that to pee in
[14:29] <strifey|work> How do you not know how to take apart a door at 18?
[14:29] <nawoR> obviously he wasnt locked in a closet enough
[14:30] <Crispy`> my cats dont have food
[14:30] <fireballs_cats> meow
[14:30] <Crispy`> so they'll die
[14:30] <nawoR> the cats will outlast you
[14:30] <fireballs_cats> meow
[14:30] <strifey|work> I think Darwin's trying to tell you something Crispy
[14:30] <Crispy`> ok so i think i've confirmed that this pin is welding in there
[14:30] <Crispy`> or super glued
[14:30] <Crispy`> one of the two
[14:31] <AmberJoy> Franklin MP3 Player & Dictionary
[14:31] <AmberJoy> $19.99
[14:31] <strifey|work> they don't weld or super glue door pins :-p
[14:31] <Crispy`> they did to this one
[14:31] <nawoR> yes, because its standard practice to superglue door pins in
[14:31] <ScrappyDoo> that would defeat the purpose of having a pin
[14:31] <Crispy`> it won't come out
[14:31] <ScrappyDoo> they'd just weld the door to the other wall
[14:31] <strifey|work> you're weak
[14:31] <AmberJoy> lmao
[14:31] <AmberJoy> perhaps it is rusted in there
[14:32] <nawoR> you dont have anything you can use for lubricant?
[14:32] <strifey|work> i guess the pin could have expanded a little in the heat
[14:32] <strifey|work> but you should be able to muscle it out
[14:32] <Rogiwork> Just grab the door at the top and pull till it explodes.
[14:32] <Crispy`> I don't normally have lube in my room
[14:32] <grimcat> nawoR: if he does, do we really want to know?
[14:33] <Cortana> Crispy barehands it, Rowan.
[14:33] <SpaceBass> leftover greasy pizza?
[14:33] <ScrappyDoo> ear wax?
[14:33] <nawoR> grim - normally no, but if anyone was gonna have it in their room, an 18 year old guy should
[14:33] <Rogiwork> eeeew
[14:33] <AxysDenyed> You can pee on it for lubricant
[14:33] <Crispy`> how does the lube work like where would I even put it on the pin
[14:34] <SpaceBass> at the top where you're trying to wedge up the head
[14:34] <Crispy`> oh ok
[14:34] <Crispy`> well i can't even do that, i've bashed the thing with all but my xbox and there's still no room
[14:34] <nawoR> this is gonna end with crispy losing an eye and the cats eating it
[14:34] <fireballs_cats> meow
[14:34] <strifey|work> try putting something under the pin and hammer up
[14:34] <Crispy`> it's like hammered in there
[14:34] <Rogiwork> You got your crackpipe lighter on you?
[14:34] <Crispy`> acrtually
[14:34] <AxysDenyed> Heat the metal to expand it
[14:35] <Crispy`> i have two lighters here
[14:35] <nawoR> now we're gonna burn down the house
[14:35] <Rogiwork> lol
[14:35] <Crispy`> BBQ lighters
[14:35] <Crispy`> what do I do with then
[14:35] <AmberJoy> I think he lives in a condo or apartment...
[14:35] <Crispy`> ohsnap this ones a jet lighter
[14:35] <Crispy`> I do
[14:35] <Rogiwork> put one under the smoke detector and pull the trigger.
[14:35] <nawoR> do you have fire sprinklers in your room?
[14:36] <SpaceBass> hah
[14:36] <SpaceBass> nice
[14:36] <Crispy`> smoke detectors outside
[14:36] <Crispy`> WTF
[14:36] <Crispy`> I'm not ruining my $2000 PC
[14:36] <Crispy`> and no
[14:36] <nawoR> light a fire, water will come on, andyou'll have enough water to last you 3 days
[14:36] <Crispy`> there's no spirnklers
[14:36] <nawoR> no smoke detector in your room? thats unsafe
[14:36] <SpaceBass> i don't think that water is potable
[14:37] <Rogiwork> There's a term I haven't heard in a while.
[14:37] <Crispy`> ok but yeah so do I actually use the lighters for something or were you guys kidding
[14:37] <nawoR> you can use heat the hinge to expand it
[14:37] <nawoR> *use it to
[14:37] <grimcat> ... but it would also expand the pin, right?
[14:37] <nawoR> depends how much it conducted through
[14:37] <Crispy`> will the pain on it or te door itself catch on fire?
[14:37] <Crispy`> paint*
[14:38] <SpaceBass> paint?
[14:38] <SpaceBass> on the hinge?
[14:38] <Crispy`> yep
[14:38] <SpaceBass> is it just painted over
[14:38] <Crispy`> yeah like
[14:38] <SpaceBass> is that why there's no seam
[14:38] <Crispy`> painted over I think
[14:38] <SpaceBass> dude
[14:38] <nawoR> didnt we discuss this 10 minutes ago?
[14:38] <ScrappyDoo> chip the paint away
[14:38] <Crispy`> i've scraped the paint off
[14:38] <Crispy`> of the space in between the head of the pin and the hinge
[14:38] <Crispy`> still can't wedge anything there
[14:38] <nawoR> i wish i was good at flash. i would love to make an escape the room based on this
[14:39] <ScrappyDoo> is this the wrong time to resuggest trying the door knob again?
[14:39] <AmberJoy> lol
[14:39] <Crispy`> I can turn it all the way boths ways
[14:39] <Crispy`> it's not in any way connected to the thing keeping the door closed at this point
[14:39] <ScrappyDoo> yeah, but the top hinge is undone, so can you use the door knob to rock the door itself and wiggle the bottom pin ?
[14:40] <grimcat> nawoR: to make it really good, the solution should be to smash the door down violently.
[14:40] <strifey|work> potent potables
[14:40] <ScrappyDoo> for
[14:40] <grimcat> and then couple of cats should poke their heads in and mew at you.
[14:40] <fireballs_cats> meow
[14:40] <ScrappyDoo> for $500 alex
[14:40] <Crispy`> That might work ScrappyDoo lemme try.
[14:40] * strifey|work wonders if this is going to end up with Crispy realizing he has to PUSH the door instead of pull
[14:41] <ScrappyDoo> i should not be the mechanically inclined person here
[14:41] <ScrappyDoo> where are your survival skills?!
[14:41] <SpaceBass> if the hinges are on the inside, it opens in
[14:41] <nawoR> sorry - i'm too busy laughing here
[14:41] <SpaceBass> but that would be funny
[14:41] <ScrappyDoo> do you not want to LIIIIIIIIIVE
[14:41] <Crispy`> my survival skill was "break down the damn door"
[14:41] <Crispy`> but that was not an option
[14:41] <Crispy`> and i have no real tools and no idea how doors work
[14:41] <ScrappyDoo> note "skills" should be plural
[14:41] <ScrappyDoo> just for future reference
[14:41] <grimcat> oh, it's still an option.
[14:41] <AmberJoy> lmao
[14:41] <Spuds> Haha.
[14:41] <ScrappyDoo> and i really recommend HDTV
[14:42] <ScrappyDoo> HGTV
[14:42] <ScrappyDoo> the home and garden network
[14:42] <ScrappyDoo> where they do all the home improvements
[14:42] <Cortana> yeah, really helpful for things like Doors 101.
[14:42] <ScrappyDoo> they're poppin' doors off all the time
[14:42] <ScrappyDoo> granted, they have tools
[14:42] <Spuds> I have watched so much HGTV in my time that I never need to see it again.
[14:42] <AmberJoy> and skills
[14:42] <ScrappyDoo> plural
[14:42] <grimcat> I'd love to see them do a version of that in a maximum security prison.
[14:42] <AmberJoy> ;)
[14:42] <Cortana> not singular.
[14:43] <grimcat> "First, we use this shank to bleed our cellmate dry."'
[14:43] <grimcat> "HRK!"
[14:43] <grimcat> "Then we use his blood to lubricate the cell bars for our next step..."
[14:43] <Cortana> bbiab.
[14:44] <AmberJoy> Didn't Martha Stewart already do something like that?
[14:44] <ScrappyDoo> no, she knitted a scarf out of pubic hair and 1-ply toilet paper
[14:44] <AmberJoy> I remember watching her do a show from prison where all the other women in her 'wing' did some sort of holiday decorations.
[14:45] <Spuds> She's a hooker.
[14:45] <AmberJoy> I wish Crispy had a video feed... >.>
[14:46] <Spuds> I could send him a camera... but then... he'd have to get out of his room for the postal person.
[14:46] <grimcat> no no... have them slip it through the window.
[14:46] * strifey|work would have just broken the door by this point
[14:47] <Spuds> I sure would have.
[14:47] <Crispy`> i could put one up if you'd like
[14:47] <Spuds> An internal door... doesn't cost that much.
[14:47] <sapagoo> i still think the window is being underutilized.
[14:47] <grimcat> Agreed.
[14:47] <ScrappyDoo> i would have turned on Skype and VOIPed someone
[14:47] <ScrappyDoo> paid that $2 fee
[14:47] <Crispy`> i don't know who can help
[14:48] <ScrappyDoo> yeah, well, i can't help you there
[14:48] <grimcat> This is an excellent opportunity for introspection and possibly a montage scene.
[14:48] <nawoR> ooh - with motivational music?
[14:49] * ScrappyDoo turns on Final Countdown
[14:49] <nawoR> question: has crispy utilized the time honored tradition of just yelling at the top of ones lungs for help?
[14:50] <nawoR> jamesi will help! he can save the day!
[14:51] <jamesi> what's up?
[14:51] <ScrappyDoo> Survivor: IRC
[14:51] <Crispy`> http://www.stickam.com/profile/crispyuf
[14:52] <ScrappyDoo> to recap: crispy is currently stuck in a room with a broken door knob, no useable windows, and no way of contacting help (nor anyone TO contact)
[14:52] <ScrappyDoo> team mission: extract crispy
[14:52] <Crispy`> haha
[14:52] <jamesi> heh
[14:52] <ScrappyDoo> he's currently battling with the hinge pins
[14:52] <AmberJoy> and now we can even watch
[14:52] <nawoR> obviously no one got crispy this toy as a child: http://www.scaryideas.com/watermark.php?src=2960.jpg
[14:52] <jamesi> is there an option to forget he's in there? :P
[14:53] <AmberJoy> lmao
[14:53] <ScrappyDoo> yeah, well, we tried that, but it was just too meaty
[14:53] <nawoR> we tried - but he keeps talking in here jamesi
[14:53] <Rogiwork> So there are lots of unexplored options.
[14:53] <Rogiwork> We could use the TV as a plasma cutter.
[14:53] * strifey|work imagines Crispy sending out myspace bulletins for help
[14:53] <ScrappyDoo> i mean, what do you do with "what's a hinge pin?"
[14:53] <Crispy`> I could ram my head into the door over and over.
[14:53] <jamesi> can't we build thicker walls around the perimeter of the room?
[14:53] <Rogiwork> or make a carbon arc torch out of a flashlight battery.
[14:53] <AmberJoy> Crispy, what is so loud in your room?
[14:53] <ScrappyDoo> and "where does the lube go?"
[14:54] <ScrappyDoo> you can't ignore that
[14:54] <Crispy`> Halo 2 probably..
[14:54] <ScrappyDoo> wow. macgyver's hair is awful
[14:54] <AmberJoy> okay - muted
[14:54] <nawoR> do you have to sign up at stickam to see videos?
[14:54] <Rogiwork> You could go Mike Tyson on the wall next to the knob.
[14:54] <ScrappyDoo> i don't remember it being so... voluminous
[14:54] <AmberJoy> nope
[14:54] <nawoR> or does work just not like the site?
[14:54] <sapagoo> it took a minute - but I'm seeing him now.
[14:54] <strifey|work> have you tried hammering the pin up yet?
[14:54] <jamesi> well, as soon as i'm done this phone call, i'll help figure out a way to "help" crispy
[14:54] <Crispy`> Yeah
[14:54] <Crispy`> I tried
[14:54] <jamesi> brb
[14:54] <AmberJoy> have you seen the SNL skit of macgyver?
[14:54] <Crispy`> the pin isn't budging
[14:55] <AmberJoy> casual drinking macgyver
[14:55] <Crispy`> there's a lot of rust color around the hinge
[14:55] <strifey|work> this should be your wake up call to start exercising
[14:55] <Crispy`> there's a good chance it's rusted in
[14:55] <grimcat> Crispy: Ever seen Oldboy?
[14:56] <Crispy`> no
[14:56] <Spuds> AmberJoy: McGrueder! He's not really a drunk, he just drinks on the weekends! McGrueder!
[14:56] <grimcat> All I'll say is that you could spend the next 14 years doing martial arts training and watching youtube.
[14:56] <AmberJoy> exactly, Spuds
[14:58] <grimcat> I'm getting "no image" on the stickam page.
[14:58] <grimcat> is that where I should be seeing crispy's room?
[14:58] <Crispy`> i turned it off
[14:59] <grimcat> ah. okay.
[14:59] <Rogiwork> Damn! I missed the prison cell cam!
[15:04] <AxysDenyed> So is Crispy` still stuck?
[15:04] <nawoR> last time i checked
[15:04] <nawoR> he's gone awfully quiet tho. he may have eaten his own arm to survive
[15:05] <AxysDenyed> It's too bad he can't take the doorknob off. Then he'd be able to access the latch directly and probably get it unstuck
[15:06] <Rogiwork> Probably talking to the cops who came to his house at the request of anonymous internet peeps.
[15:06] <AxysDenyed> 2 Ambers = 4 boobies
[15:06] <{A}mberJoy> ( . )( . )
[15:06] <AxysDenyed> Aww, the other one left
[15:07] <Spuds> One AmberJoy is all it takes.
[15:07] <AmberJoy> more AmberJoy is always better
[15:07] <Rorschach> holy crap
[15:07] <ZaZen> that's for sure
[15:07] <ZaZen> aye amber how u been?
[15:07] <AmberJoy> okay, goober, and you?
[15:07] <Rorschach> I come back from lunch, and we have mission impossible: crispy edition
[15:07] <Spuds> Okay... so my question is... how do you use more than one AmberJoy? Have you ever tried to use more than one skateboard?
[15:08] <Spuds> Drive more than one car at the same time?
[15:08] <AmberJoy> Would you like to try?
[15:08] <AxysDenyed> Well, you can use one while she uses herself, I suppose
[15:08] <Spuds> To drive more than one car at the same time?
[15:08] <Rorschach> I think you have to put one in park
[15:08] <ZaZen> not bad, haven't seen u since last call was done
[15:09] <Spuds> Ouch. I have 3.3 seconds lag time.
[15:09] <AmberJoy> Have you missed me?
[15:09] <Spuds> I guess that's better than not having IRC at all.
[15:09] <ZaZen> lol, was too busy for most of the time to miss anyone
[15:09] <ZaZen> had school to worry about
[15:09] <AmberJoy> say yes, dammit
[15:09] <Spuds> I was supposed to go to that contest today and forgot about it.
[15:10] <AmberJoy> oh noes!
[15:10] <ZaZen> yes, of course
[15:10] <Spuds> The guy from the radio station called me this morning...
[15:10] * Spuds shrugs.
[15:10] <AmberJoy> :(
[15:11] <celina63> what was the contest?
[15:11] <nawoR> hold your wii for a wii?
[15:11] <AmberJoy> gonad size
[15:11] <nawoR> or pot a potter for a harry potter book?
[15:12] <Spuds> It was basically a dick-swingin' contest.
[15:12] <Rorschach> spacebass has 0 liability coverage, his balls, however,are enourmous
[15:12] <Spuds> Anyway... it was a contest to see who could eat the hottest (spicy) stuff.
[15:13] <Spuds> And I know that I would be able to destroy anyone at that... so I signed up.
[15:13] <AxysDenyed> Sign me up
[15:13] <AmberJoy> I was dessert.
[15:13] * AxysDenyed breaks out the habaneros
[15:13] <strifey|work> did Crispy die yet?
[15:13] <Spuds> Habaneros are nothing.
[15:13] <Rorschach> oooo I wanna do one of those contests. I lurv spicy
[15:13] <Spuds> I can eat them all da.
[15:13] <Spuds> *day.
[15:14] <Spuds> I have been described as "inhuman" by the best.
[15:14] <AxysDenyed> Habaneros are tasty. They also make a good jelly
[15:14] <Rorschach> my habaneros are doing well in my garden
[15:14] <Spuds> Mmmm... I love pepper jelly and cream cheese on a ritz.
[15:14] <AmberJoy> So, how's it swingin', Spuds?
[15:14] <Spuds> Come see.
[15:14] <Rorschach> I make a slightly sweet chili sauce with them
[15:14] <AxysDenyed> Spuds: Kinda defeats the purpose of using cream cheese
[15:14] <AmberJoy> Aren't you at work?
[15:14] <AxysDenyed> The dairy partially cancels out the acidic nature of the spices, dulling them
[15:15] <Spuds> Axys... I just like the taste of the two together for some reason.
[15:15] <grimcat> Mmm, spicy.
[15:15] <AxysDenyed> I haven't tried it
[15:15] <Rorschach> tis good axys
[15:15] <Rorschach> you'd like it
[15:16] <AxysDenyed> Probably, but I stay away from dairy by habit when eating spicy food. I don't want the spice dulled
[15:16] <Crispy`> ok so
[15:16] <Rorschach> the sugars in the lactose dilute it
[15:16] <Spuds> I used to have a bottle of Pure Cap... and I used to use that on bean burritos.
[15:16] <Crispy`> add phillips head screwdriver to the inventory
[15:16] <Spuds> mmmmm.
[15:16] <AxysDenyed> By the way, these people make some very good spicy sauces - http://www.insanitysauce.com/
[15:17] <Crispy`> however, apparently this doorknob is about 100 years old
[15:17] <Rorschach> yeah, I have that
[15:17] <Crispy`> and there are no screws
[15:17] <Spuds> Dave's insanity?
[15:17] <Rorschach> sauce, great for chili
[15:17] <AxysDenyed> Crispy`: They hide the screws
[15:17] <nawoR> what do you mean there are no screws?
[15:17] <Crispy`> there are no screws
[15:17] <AmberJoy> they used to use bubblegum to stick the knobs to the doors
[15:17] <Spuds> Oh... it IS Dave's Insanity
[15:17] <nawoR> is it superglued together?
[15:18] <Rorschach> Is it a sliding door crispy
[15:18] <AmberJoy> lmao
[15:18] <Spuds> Haha.
[15:19] <AxysDenyed> Crispy`: The screws are generally in the sleeve of the knob
[15:19] <Spuds> C18H27NO3
[15:20] <AmberJoy> o.O
[15:20] <Crispy`> =
[15:20] <Crispy`> this is just unbelieveable
[15:20] <Crispy`> I mean it gets to the point where life itself is just laughing at me
[15:20] <Crispy`> ok
[15:20] <Crispy`> so
[15:20] <Rogiwork> Somebody could've put the knob on backwards.
[15:20] <AxysDenyed> Mmmm, capsaican
[15:20] <Spuds> Haha.
[15:20] <Crispy`> the doorknob has no screws, there's a hole but nothing is in the hole
[15:20] <Spuds> Capsaicin.
[15:20] <Crispy`> i can't pry the metal ring off
[15:21] <Spuds> Axys... we'll have to sit down to some hot wings some time.
[15:21] <Spuds> Or Thai food.
[15:21] <Rogiwork> And Dave's is some HOT sauce, though not very tasty.
[15:21] <Rorschach> agreed. daves is an ingredient
[15:21] <Spuds> Rogi-- http://www.bigdaddysbbq.net/
[15:21] <Spuds> That's some even HOTTER hot sauce.
[15:22] <AxysDenyed> Spuds: I did that with some friends. Waitress asked "How spicy do you want them?". My friend answered, "Tell them the guy from Sea Sports Scuba is here and he wants them damn hot". She came back out and said, "Are you sure, because they're laughing evilly back there."
[15:22] <Spuds> I heard them start talking about it on the radio... and they were talking about how hot it was and that they couldn't even stand it.
[15:22] <AxysDenyed> Those were some good wings
[15:22] <Spuds> I get that ALL the time.
[15:22] <Crispy`> alright well im going to go cry in a corner or something and contemplate why things like this happen to me
[15:22] <Crispy`> later
[15:22] <Spuds> I go to Thai restaurants and they say "That is very hot" and I say "Okay... make it TWICE that hot, then"
[15:22] <AmberJoy> emo much? :
[15:23] <Spuds> And they come out to watch me eat it.
[15:23] <Crispy`> not even
[15:23] <Rorschach> cutter!
[15:23] <Crispy`> it's just really tiring how things like this happen nonstop
[15:23] <Crispy`> and it seriously is nonstop
[15:23] <Spuds> Karma.
[15:23] <AxysDenyed> I like this woman's habanero salsas - http://www.thepepperlady.com/main2.html
[15:23] <Crispy`> Hardly.
[15:24] <Spuds> I sure wish I could get some Big Daddy BBQ right now.
[15:25] <Rogiwork> Treo 650 129.99
[15:25] * AxysDenyed has a jar of Pheonix Fire salsa at his parents place
[15:25] <AxysDenyed> I might have to go pick that up this weekend
[15:26] <Rorschach> hmm. I'll have to try that bbq stuff
[15:28] <Rorschach> hottest sauces in the world
[15:28] <Rorschach> I own number 5. In a glass case LOL http://www.chez-williams.com/Hot%20Sauce/hothome.htm
[15:29] <AmberJoy> more detail, Rogi ^_^
[15:29] <AmberJoy> Palm Treo 650 Unlocked Smartphone w/ 32MB Mem Card
[15:29] <AmberJoy> $129.99
[15:30] <Rogiwork> I'd get it if it was the 700.
[15:32] <Crispy`> yay my mom is coming home
[15:32] <Crispy`> now we can both do futile things to get this door open
[15:33] <Rogiwork> $10 says mom comes home turns the handle and says, "So what's the problem?"
[15:34] <Crispy`> I'll take you on that bet.
[15:35] <Rogiwork> If mom has to use tool(s), you win.
[15:35] <Crispy`> We don't have tools in this house
[15:36] <Crispy`> minus this random phillips head I found
[15:36] <Spuds> I'll do 2-to-1 that she either breaks it down, encourages him to break it down.
[15:36] <SpaceBass> dude with a phillips head you could probably unscrew the bottom hinge from the door or frame
[15:36] <Rogiwork> Not with the door shut.
[15:36] <AmberJoy> ding ding!
[15:36] <Crispy`> if she encourages me to break it down (she won't though, she can't afford a new door), I'll do it in one kick
[15:36] <AmberJoy> you don't need a door anyway
[15:36] <SpaceBass> oh point
[15:36] <AxysDenyed> Crispy`: Does your door open in or out?
[15:37] <Spuds> So... you think she'll just leave you in there.
[15:37] <Crispy`> in
[15:37] <Crispy`> there's no screws anywhere
[15:37] <AxysDenyed> Good luck kicking it down
[15:37] <Rogiwork> It's only on one hing for cripes sake.
[15:37] <AmberJoy> then how are the hinges afixed to the door frame?
[15:37] <Crispy`> I've tried sticking it into every hole possible but the head either doesn't fit or ot doesn't want to screw
[15:37] <AmberJoy> omg ooc
[15:37] <Crispy`> ...
[15:37] <Spuds> On a long shot.. 40 to 1 that if nothing else works, she'll leave him in there.
[15:38] <Rorschach> can't you just even break the door knob off?
[15:38] <Rorschach> I don't get it
[15:38] <Crispy`> i dunno with what
[15:38] <AxysDenyed> Judo
[15:38] <Crispy`> I meran I've smashed at it with a shoe, my 360 controller
[15:38] <Crispy`> my karate chop
[15:38] <Rogiwork> AmberJoy: the screws are concealed by the door itself, when it closes.
[15:38] <Rorschach> you sersiously sound like you need some vagisil crispy
[15:38] <Spuds> Your 360 controller???? Do you even have 2 brain cells to rub together?
[15:39] <Crispy`> eh?
[15:39] <nawoR> how do you know your mom is coming home?
[15:39] <SpaceBass> unscrew the doorknob assembly from the door?
[15:39] <Spuds> Why would you smash at anything with a 360 controller?
[15:39] <Rorschach> If your mom has to come save you, you are never going to forgive your self
[15:39] <AxysDenyed> Space: He can't find the screws
[15:39] <Rogiwork> I think he should dangle hiw Wii out the window at random passersby.
[15:39] <SpaceBass> mmf
[15:39] <Rogiwork> *his
[15:39] <Crispy`> there ARE no screws
[15:39] <Crispy`> not that I see
[15:39] <AxysDenyed> Oh, there are. They're just hidden
[15:39] <AxysDenyed> They do that on doorknobs a lot
[15:39] <AxysDenyed> Usually hidden by the trim
[15:39] * celina63 thinks Crispy is launching a new ARG
[15:40] <Rorschach> bust the mother ****** off
[15:40] <Crispy`> this doorknob has to be like 50 years old
[15:40] <celina63> SaveCrispy
[15:40] <Rorschach> bust the escutchen
[15:40] <nawoR> it used to be 100 years old
[15:40] <Rorschach> there will be screws
[15:40] <AxysDenyed> There are always screws
[15:40] <nawoR> but crispy - how do you know your mom is coming home? did you get a hold of her somehow?
[15:41] <Crispy`> answering machine
[15:41] <nawoR> ahh
[15:41] <AmberJoy> do you have a bottle to pee in?
[15:41] <Rorschach> dude, you have to man up and get yourself out
[15:41] <Rorschach> please
[15:41] <Rorschach> don't let your mom save you
[15:41] <AmberJoy> InFocus ScreenPlay 7210 HD DLP Projector
[15:41] <AmberJoy> $1,299.99
[15:42] <nawoR> if i can whack a piece of my car off with a wrench, you shyould be able to whack the door open crispy
[15:42] * Rorschach throws a twinky on the other side of door to entice crispy to get himself out
[15:42] <Rogiwork> Does anyone else see parallels between this situation and how government operates, sometimes?
[15:42] <AxysDenyed> Most likely the screws are hidden behind the knobs plate
[15:42] * nawoR gives rorschach a cooke for that
[15:42] <AxysDenyed> He'd have to pry the plate off to find them, I bet
[15:43] <Crispy`> pryed
[15:43] <Crispy`> found screws
[15:43] <Crispy`> andddd the screwdriver is too big
[15:43] <Crispy`> YAY
[15:43] <Crispy`> and I can't even reach it down there
[15:44] <nawoR> lol
[15:44] <Rogiwork> Can you get to the latch bolt?
[15:44] <Spuds> Mom's gonna take that busted door out of your ass.
[15:44] <Spuds> She'll never believe you.
[15:44] <AxysDenyed> Can you not rotate the plate out of your way?
[15:45] <Rorschach> get the knob off, fairly cheap to replace
[15:45] <Rorschach> or, can you work the mechanism with the plat out of the way?
[15:45] <AxysDenyed> I bet you there's also a small metal slot on the knob. If he could get something in there, he could take the knob off and get the plate all the way off
[15:45] <Crispy`> ok there's a little slot i can fit my konoha ninja star keychain into
[15:46] <Crispy`> but i can't pry it
[15:46] <AxysDenyed> Try pushing in on the slot and pulling the doorknob
[15:46] <Spuds> You'll put your eye out.
[15:47] <nawoR> this has been going on for almost 2 hours.
[15:47] <Rorschach> rofl
[15:47] <Rogiwork> The rectangular thing is a spring loaded pin.
[15:47] <AxysDenyed> Rowan: Better than the 2 hour phone call I was on earlier
[15:47] <AxysDenyed> Did you get it off?
[15:47] <Rorschach> put it in slow crispy, only a little bit, then all the way, real fast
[15:47] <Spuds> No... YOU bent your star.
[15:47] <Spuds> The knob didn't do anything.
[15:47] <nawoR> door: 3, crispy: 0
[15:47] <xnb> they sure don't make 'em like they used to
[15:47] <Rogiwork> Ror: Roar!
[15:47] <Spuds> This is why you have bad luck... you blame it on everything and everyone else.
[15:47] <AmberJoy> Rorschach - save that talk for when your son is older. >.>
[15:48] <Rorschach> hee hee
[15:48] <Crispy`> BENT THE KEY TO MY CAR
[15:48] <Rogiwork> Arrghh! He bent me sword!
[15:48] <Spuds> I'll pass the hat... we can all donate to get Crispy some tampax and midol
[15:48] <AmberJoy> that wasn't so smart
[15:49] <Rorschach> 5's spuds
[15:49] <Spuds> You bent your star... so you decided that you were going to stick a soft metal car key in next?
[15:49] <nawoR> the next thing we'll have to do is teach crispy how to hotwire his car since he cant use his key
[15:49] <Rogiwork> We can still make that plasma cutter.
[15:49] <AxysDenyed> Too bad he doesn't have a flathead screwdriver
[15:49] <AmberJoy> or a dime
[15:49] <Spuds> Yeah... I'd use that ninja sword on the door.
[15:49] <AxysDenyed> Rowan: Yellow wire to green wire, be prepared for a shock
[15:50] <Spuds> Or common sense.
[15:50] <xnb> can we get a look at this doorknob set?
[15:50] <Rorschach> try yelling the fibonacci at it crispy
[15:50] * Rorschach cracks self up
[15:51] <AxysDenyed> 1! 1! 2! 3! 5! 8! 13!
[15:51] <Spuds> 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377, 610, 987, 1597, 2584, 4181, 6765, 10946, 17711, 28657, 46368, 75025, 121393, 196418, 317811
[15:51] * Rogiwork half wonders if Crispy isn't on a wifi link at the pool and is exploring the boundaries of chaotic fiction.
[15:52] <AxysDenyed> Didn't we already get webcam of him in his erstwhile prison?
[15:52] * Mapmaker half wonders if Crispy is twisting the wrong way
[15:52] * Rorschach thinks that crispy, is really just a cartoon
[15:52] <xnb> I'd just like an image of the offending mechanism
[15:52] <AxysDenyed> Siege88: Welcome to SaveCrispy
[15:52] <Siege88> ?
[15:52] <Rorschach> If you get yourself out crispy, you might become a real boy!
[15:52] <jamesi> ok, so the "build thicker walls" idea never got off the ground? :P
[15:53] <Siege88> Fill me in
[15:53] <AxysDenyed> Our very own Crispy` has managed to get himself locked in a room with no windows
[15:53] <nawoR> crispy is locked in a room with no windows and no phone
[15:53] <Siege88> but he has a computer with interweb?
[15:53] <Spuds> It's a round room.
[15:53] <Rorschach> what do you do? what do you do?
[15:53] <Spuds> We've asked him to poop in a corner.
[15:53] <AxysDenyed> Currently he is trying to take apart the doorknob so he can open the latch manually
[15:53] <Siege88> And you guys are trying to figure out a way to get him ouT???????????
[15:53] <nawoR> jamesi - i really dont think the walls are the problem. its the fact that he has an internet connection
[15:53] <Spuds> Mostly... we make fun.
[15:54] <jamesi> can we detonate an EMP?
[15:54] <jamesi> !emp
[15:54] <AmberJoy> rofl
[15:54] <grimcat> Is Crispy still walled in?
[15:54] <nawoR> got one handy?
[15:54] <AxysDenyed> Yep
[15:54] <AmberJoy> can we click on the garbage can?
[15:54] <grimcat> http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/JonasAlbrecht/cats.jpg
[15:54] <jamesi> i dont have an EMP, but I have EMF
[15:54] <Spuds> I built an EMP generator for Defcon one year.
[15:54] <Siege88> Someone hack his computer
[15:54] * AmberJoy points at Spuds.
[15:55] <AxysDenyed> Spuds: How many people did you piss off?
[15:55] <nawoR> and we all have an EMO locked in a room
[15:55] <Spuds> Nobody.
[15:55] <Spuds> I did a demo, but no unwilling electronics were hurt but a cell phone that someone left in the cone.
[15:55] <Siege88> How did Crispy get in this room?
[15:55] <AxysDenyed> grimcat: What does two cats humping have to do with getting Crispy` out of the room?
[15:55] <fireballs_cats> meow
[15:55] <nawoR> its his bedroom siege
[15:55] <AxysDenyed> Siege88: It's his room
[15:56] <Siege88> Uh
[15:56] <jamesi> his bedroom has no windows
[15:56] <nawoR> exactly
[15:56] <Siege88> He locked himself in his bedroom and it has no windows?
[15:56] <Rorschach> his bedroom is the cellar
[15:56] <Siege88> Dude, so let's go rob him
[15:56] <AxysDenyed> Welcome to Bad Decisions By Crispy`
[15:56] <jamesi> can we foreclose on the house the bedroom is in? can we cut the power somehow?
[15:56] <Siege88> No one else is home, right, or they'd go rescue him......
[15:56] <Siege88> Well, they might rescue him
[15:56] <Siege88> Then again
[15:56] <AxysDenyed> No one else is home
[15:56] <Rorschach> His mom is going to save him
[15:57] * jamesi is looking for solutions that allow us to "sweep this little incident under the rug"
[15:57] <Siege88> I think his mom locked him in there
[15:57] <AxysDenyed> We're encouraging him to save himself before she gets there
[15:57] <Spuds> And then they are going shopping for dresses.
[15:57] <Rorschach> rofl
[15:57] <Siege88> If he was my kid, he'd spend plenty of time locked in his room
[15:57] <Siege88> lol
[15:57] <nawoR> well, there's always the kick/ban solution
[15:57] <Rorschach> it was bras spuds, but close enough
[15:57] <Siege88> Quick, put "Crispy and the locked room" up on Unforums as a potential ARG
[15:58] <nawoR> nono - you cant post new games in Potentials
[15:58] <Siege88> In like a week or two when he starts dying of thirst, it can move to be an official ARG
[15:58] <nawoR> it would have to go in N&R first
[15:58] <AxysDenyed> Hey MikeyJ. Welcome to SaveCrispy
[15:58] <jamesi> this is neither news nor rumor... i'd move it to diversions
[15:58] <Rorschach> depends on how many sites we get
[15:58] <Siege88> Haha we can drill a hole into his basement and put a webcam there
[15:59] <nawoR> he has a webcam - he just doesnt have it on
[15:59] <MikeyJ> Evening :) What the hell are we saving crispy from?!
[15:59] <nawoR> himself
[15:59] <AxysDenyed> His bedroom
[15:59] <jamesi> mokeyj: himself
[15:59] <jamesi> er, mikeyj (sorry!)
[15:59] <Rorschach> a virtual sex change, if his mom has to save his ass
[15:59] <Siege88> Who wants to take bets how long Crispy's mom considers her options when she comes home and realizes he's locked in there?
[15:59] <AxysDenyed> You know, he's awfully quiet
[16:00] <MikeyJ> lol
[16:00] <nawoR> he's probably crying again
[16:00] <Crispy`> knobs off
[16:00] <Crispy`> of course she brought her friend her her friends cute daughter
[16:00] <Rorschach> oh, his mom must have got home, and he's nursing
[16:00] <Crispy`> my life f**king sucks
[16:00] <AxysDenyed> Okay, you should be able to get the plate off and get the screws off now
[16:00] <Siege88> I'm really glad that wasn't a /me Crispy
[16:00] <Siege88> that first thing you said
[16:00] <Crispy`> they're beating the latch with a hammer now
[16:00] <Crispy`> and it's still not out
[16:00] <nawoR> so your mom rescued you?
[16:00] <Crispy`> no
[16:00] <Crispy`> I broke the knob off
[16:00] <Crispy`> the latch is still stuck
[16:00] <grimcat> So... she's just out there with her friend.
[16:01] <nawoR> are they laughing?
[16:01] <AxysDenyed> Beating it with a hammer will probably make it worse
[16:01] <Crispy`> beating the latch with a hammer
[16:01] <Crispy`> year
[16:01] <Crispy`> yes*
[16:01] <Siege88> So some cute girl came over to watch you get rescued from your own room by your mom?
[16:01] <Crispy`> and so is her cute daughter
[16:01] <Crispy`> i hate my mom
[16:01] <Crispy`> and my life
[16:01] <MikeyJ> Oh God - sorry Chrispy, thought you were an ARG
[16:01] <Spuds> You're gonna have to kick that shit out.
[16:01] <jamesi> well, this has been very entertaining and all
[16:01] <Spuds> Sorry about the cussing.
[16:01] <Rorschach> oh man crispy
[16:01] <Spuds> I apologize that I did it in this channel, anyway.
[16:01] * jamesi submits this as a possible episode of "The George Lopez Show"
[16:02] <Siege88> Crispy- Ask the girl if she wants to see your room and tell her the lock is Really secure and wink at her
[16:02] <AxysDenyed> lmao
[16:02] <grimcat> YES.
[16:02] <Rorschach> well, as soon as the door opens, go grab the cute chic, and just lay one on her, and tell her she saved your life
[16:03] <Siege88> Jump into her arms
[16:03] <AxysDenyed> Methinks Crispy` will never be a dab hand with the Sheilas
[16:03] <Siege88> Crispy's a player
[16:03] <jamesi> can;t you just tell her that you were locked in for society's sake?
[16:03] <Siege88> lolol
[16:03] <jamesi> maybe she'll take that to mean you are a bad boy
[16:04] <Siege88> Crispy, if it'll help you out, you can blame it on me
[16:04] <Rorschach> then, grab the chics mom, and do the same thing to her
[16:04] <AmberJoy> come out of your room carrying a big bottle of lotion and a wet towel >.>
[16:04] <MikeyJ> Or a mental patient
[16:04] <jamesi> lol @ amber
[16:04] <Siege88> Pull her aside and be like "Baby, I'm so dangerous I have to be locked up"
[16:04] <Rogiwork> Okay jamesi... You can hit the remote release, now.
[16:04] <jamesi> mikeyj: he's got a 50-50 chance, which is good odds, considering the situation
[16:04] <celina63> 1 hour until Harry Potter goes on sale in the UK :)
[16:05] <jamesi> i won't be getting mine until the 28th :(
[16:05] <MikeyJ> I thought it was midnight celina63?
[16:05] <AxysDenyed> I'll be getting mine tonight after midnight
[16:05] * jamesi shakes an angry fist at amazon
[16:05] <Siege88> I'm apparently going with my friend to a Harry Potter thing tonight at B&N at midnight
[16:05] * AxysDenyed hugs Barnes & Nobel
[16:05] <celina63> MikeyJ, you're in the UK right?
[16:05] <MikeyJ> yup -it's 21:05
[16:05] <Siege88> Are there cute girls that read harry potter? Or are they all like magical elfs?
[16:05] <Spuds> I have a Borders books in my building.... but... too bad it's out tomorrow.
[16:05] <AxysDenyed> I know cute girls in the US that read Harry Potter
[16:05] <AmberJoy> elves?
[16:06] <celina63> hmmm
[16:06] <Siege88> I like elfs better
[16:06] <AxysDenyed> Elfs is more archaic
[16:06] <jamesi> oooh, there ay go, crispy! tell the girl that you were locking yourself in your room to avoid HP spoilers!
[16:06] <celina63> I was just viewing a site that says JK will be reading from the book in an hour
[16:06] <Siege88> Hahaha
[16:06] <Mapmaker> maybe reading the copyright info
[16:06] <Siege88> Crispy was the one providing the HP spoilers, actually
[16:06] <jamesi> she'll see how dedicated you are to HP and all its magicalness, and will love you forever
[16:06] <Rogiwork> Jk put a spell on his door?
[16:07] <nawoR> well, there was that one contest where she would read from the book right before it went on sale
[16:07] <nawoR> oh - so angry HP fans are the ones that locked him in the room?
[16:07] <jamesi> because nothing turns a girl on more than a dedicated bad-boy who just got released from a four-walled prison
[16:07] <Siege88> Yous shoulda ordered from deepdiscountdvd I love them
[16:07] <Spuds> Isn't Crispy the one that chickened out on having the special pizza made for the girl?
[16:07] <Siege88> It's gonna suck if they get sued now
[16:07] <MikeyJ> oooh! Is it on the telly - it was last time? They printed a review in today's Guardian and pretended that there were no spoilers
[16:08] <Spuds> SOMEONE out there is right... out of all of the spoilers that have hit the net... someone has to be right.
[16:08] <Siege88> Spuds, people already have the book
[16:08] <jamesi> i quit the internet until the book is in my hands and read
[16:08] <Siege88> Like, some of the spoilers are actual scanned pages
[16:08] <MikeyJ> according to the review, none of them were thinking big enough
[16:08] <Spuds> Unless the book is so many hundreds of pages of blank space and the word "SCAR" on the last page. And the epilogue reads "Suckers!"
[16:09] <Spuds> I haven't read a single one of the books.
[16:09] <Spuds> Though... I am considering it.
[16:09] <Siege88> So guys give me a crash course so I can pick up harry potter chicks at this thing
[16:09] * Spuds shrugs.
[16:09] <Siege88> in front of my ex
[16:09] <AxysDenyed> I've read all of them to date
[16:09] <Siege88> What do I need to know
[16:09] <MikeyJ> sorry - will shush my lips up. PM me if you want me to come back at midnight and read it to you ;)
[16:09] <nawoR> they're really easy reading spuds. so its good for light entertainment
[16:10] <Spuds> Well... after reading some of the authors that I read they SHOULD be easy reading.
[16:10] <AxysDenyed> You can generally read the first two in a day
[16:10] <Siege88> Any updates on CrispysRoom.com?
[16:10] <AxysDenyed> Spuds: I've probably read worse
[16:11] <Spuds> I remember when my mother was in the hospital at one point, we found the books in text format and printed and bound them on the University copiers. :)
[16:11] <Crispy`> update: she's REALLY cute
[16:11] <Crispy`> and likes ska music
[16:11] <strifey|work> Crispy realizes that he should have put on pants before the girl got in the room
[16:11] <Crispy`> i'm spitting game with her mom right there trying to open my door
[16:11] <Mapmaker> your mom?
[16:11] <AxysDenyed> Liking ska music is a plus
[16:11] <Siege88> did she laugh at you for a really long time?
[16:11] <Crispy`> no
[16:11] <Spuds> AxysDenyed, I don't mean BAD authors... I mean difficult books. Physics, math, medicine, etc. Dry reading.
[16:11] <Crispy`> she's laughing at the situation
[16:11] <Siege88> Wait you're not out yet?
[16:11] <Crispy`> no
[16:11] <AxysDenyed> Spuds: Oh, I've read some of those too
[16:11] <Siege88> hahaha
[16:11] <strifey|work> wtf did you do to your door?
[16:11] <Crispy`> i'm sptting game to her daughter from behind a door
[16:11] <Siege88> Ask her out through the door
[16:12] <MikeyJ> have you anything you could lubricate the lock with?
[16:12] <Siege88> what's sptting game?
[16:12] <Crispy`> well the latch is f**king STUCK
[16:12] <AmberJoy> spitting game?
[16:12] <AmberJoy> like who can spit the furthest?
[16:12] <Spuds> That's jive for "hitting on her"
[16:12] <strifey|work> kick down the door weirdo
[16:12] <Siege88> you can spit through a wooden door?
[16:12] <Spuds> Crispy IS harry potter!
[16:12] <Siege88> I wanna see him kick the door into his mom and the girl and then strike a pose
[16:13] <AmberJoy> yeah, and they'll have bloody noses
[16:13] <Spuds> Knock the door down, strike a pose and say "BIG JIM SLADE!!!"
[16:13] <AmberJoy> so he'll try to give his mom mouth to mouth
[16:13] <Siege88> I don't think you're supposed to give mouth-to-mouth for a broken nose
[16:13] <Siege88> especially to your mom
[16:14] <AmberJoy> that's the point
[16:14] <Rorschach> spitting game sounds dirty
[16:15] <Siege88> lol
[16:15] <Siege88> they're having a group meeting at the next desk over and they keep looking at me every time I laugh
[16:15] <Rorschach> only spit if you're going to play crispy.
[16:15] <Rorschach> ask the girl out
[16:16] <Mapmaker> I don't know if that 's possible
[16:16] <Rorschach> lol
[16:16] <Siege88> Crispy, ask her to hold your hand under the door cause you're scared
[16:16] <nawoR> lol
[16:16] <AxysDenyed> Here, use this line Crispy`. "I don't feel like sticking around the house once this door is open. You feel like going somwhere?"
[16:17] <Mapmaker> Or "Now that I've opened this door, how 'bout I open something of yours?"
[16:17] <Siege88> I think you should climb into bed and pretend you were asleep the whole time and didn't notice
[16:18] <Rorschach> say, are you from the flintstones? cuz I wanna make this bed rock!
[16:18] * Rorschach thinks he is hilarious
[16:18] <Rogiwork> Wait for Mom to swing the door open and then tackle hug the girl like you were just going to break down the door.
[16:18] <Spuds> And scream "BIG JIM SLADE!!"
[16:18] <Siege88> Crispy's Mom: I don't think the cement is hardening fast eno--- I mean, the crowbar's not working
[16:19] <Rogiwork> Where's Lassie when you need her.
[16:19] <Siege88> Ooh, yeah, definitely use the tacklehug
[16:19] <Siege88> Just don't be in such a rush you accidentally grab your mom
[16:19] <Rorschach> you should tell her mom, "are you free tonight? Or will it cost me?"
[16:20] <Spuds> Has anyone in here seen "Kentucky Fried Movie"??
[16:20] <AxysDenyed> Man, Rorschach is evil with these lines
[16:20] <Rogiwork> Long ago.
[16:20] * Rorschach raises hand
[16:21] <Spuds> Good good... I'm glad someone here has.
[16:21] <Siege88> Crispy, tell her since your room's now missing a door, you're gonna need somewhere to sleep
[16:21] <Spuds> Okay... well... I am going home. See you all later.
[16:21] <Rorschach> later spuds
[16:21] <AxysDenyed> Later, Spuds
[16:21] <Siege88> laterz
[16:21] * Spuds waves!
[16:22] <Rorschach> do you have a mirror in your pocket? because I can see myself in your pants
[16:22] <Rorschach> ROFL
[16:22] <AmberJoy> omg
[16:22] <Rorschach> admit it, that is funny
[16:22] <Crispy`> LULULU
[16:22] <Crispy`> It's open
[16:22] <AxysDenyed> Are you tired? Because you've been running through my head all night...screaming
[16:22] <Crispy`> but brb
[16:22] <Crispy`> you know why
[16:22] <AxysDenyed> Ask her out!
[16:22] <Rorschach> dewwww eeeeeet
[16:22] <Siege88> Wanna order a pizza and screw for awhile? What, you don't like pizza?
[16:23] <Rorschach> haha
[16:23] <nawoR> 2 hours and 21 minutes